Literal Bitchface

Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now

This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad’s street.  

Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box.  And just to be clear - it was done intentionally.  No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down.  He’d call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to “not our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.”  

Fast forward to the next winter.  First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day.  It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal.  My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off.

Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow.  And these weren’t little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY:

Well, turns out over the summer, my dad’s neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard.  Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox.  When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won.  With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it.  

Naturally, the DOT wasn’t happy, and the neighbor’s reply was simple: “Not my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.”  They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick.  

And for anyone wondering about the driver…  He was fine.  His job and tighty-whiteys … not so much.

That is a very satisfying read.

My money says that’s what plesiosaurs were like: fast underwater, extra padding for buoyancy, long neck. Look at their skeletons!

It’s just like this:

They’re basically large horizontal penguins with a long tail and spiky teeth.

OH SHIT THEY PENGUINS!!

They’re more deserving of the uniform than most generals.

Heroes

Society couldn’t function without them.

Note: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez graduated Cum Laude from Boston University. 

Wasn’t she working as a bar tender before she got elected?

Folks on the right always seem very concerned that AOC was a bartender. They ignore her prestigious education and the fact that she graduated with distinction. They ignore that she has relevant degrees. And they ignore that she worked for the nonprofit National Hispanic Institute gaining relevant experience in activism.

I’ve also noticed that conservatives constantly complain about “elites.” They propped up “Joe Six Pack” because they felt too many lawmakers were out of touch and they wanted people who understood the common folk. Blue collar workers are the heart and soul of America, right? 

Did you know that nearly half of congress is filled with lawyers? And the rest are mostly businessmen. What do lawyers know about my life? What do lawyers know about struggling to pay bills? What do lawyers know about what it’s like to hold a low wage job? How are they supposed to represent me and my needs?

Do you know why AOC worked as a bartender? Her father died and her mother’s jobs as a house cleaner and bus driver were not enough to fight foreclosure. So Alexandria put her career ambitions on hold and got a job as a bartender to help her mom. Conservatives are all about “family values” right? AOC valued her family so much that she worked a grueling job out of love for her mom. 

And you want to trivialize that?  

AOC knows my struggle more than Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. I have confidence that AOC will represent me and my family’s needs more so than any lawyer or businessman who is just looking to enrich themselves. 

Maybe we need a few more bartenders and a few less lawyers. 

Republicans: “Work hard and get a better job, snowflake” AOC: *works hard and gets a better job* Republicans: “N-No, not like that”

wholesome family pride

dad: what are you doing with your life? how are you justifying your existence? 

me: 

RON

This isn’t Canada-specific, but with all the mask discourse on your blog lately, I saw this Twitter thread earlier today that shows how we can all push for increased mask wearing without relying on public shaming, anger, and enforcement (the last of which will almost always involve more police).

–

Submitted by @fueltransitsleep

Mark: lol seán sucks at selling cloak

Seán: no u

Mark:

Honey, I contoured the kids

     ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                                    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)       

                   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)               ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)        all around me are familiar faces

                 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                                 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

                                    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)                                  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

hmmm

man the juxtaposition really makes it seem like that bourbon insta-killed her

straight and gay siblings hanging out

Are you kidding me, regular meowth is gay too

Grumpy gay & glamor gay