“OUT OF HERE DEVIL!” *SLAP* “i cant feel that eli!” *slap* “OUT SIN!” *slap* “let me feel the power of the lord eli!” “DO YOU ACCEPT THE CHURCH OF THE THIRD REVELATION AS YOUR SPIRITUAL GUIDE?!” *slap* “where’s the power?” *slap* “let me feel the power of the lord! where is your lord eli?” “GET OUT OF HERE GET OUT OF HERE GHOST GET OUT!” “let me feel him! where is he?! *slap* “where is he?!” *slap* “there he is!” *slap* “oh there he is!” “DO YOU ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR SAVIOUR?!” “yes i do :)”

poob straight up has it for me. and by “it” i mean. well lets justr say. the show

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

what does Quil do

All the time all the time

me because im god

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!

great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!

hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!

excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism

great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️

hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?

@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?

95 at present, more on the way :)

hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?

Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

I need y'all to see how this porn spelled ménage à trois

Idk, I think the spelling adds a certain junuh say qwa

The best part about being asexual is knowing that you will never be honeypotted. I often picture myself as a mark in a James Bond movie who has information or something and Daniel Craig saunters up in his sexiest tux to seduce me and I’m just like “No thank you” no matter what he does and then he has an existential crisis and walks away in a daze then sends in Moneypenny cause maybe I just like women and I’m like “hey girl, no thanks” and send her away as well and they just never get the information. I am an immovable plot piece without even knowing it. Sorry James but I defy the tropes of your genre.

Happy International Asexuality Day to everyone except James Bond.

i like how nacho and lalo are on a complete different spectrums of brown eyes, cause one of them has the most outrageously gorgeous and expressive pools of warmth — meanwhile the other has crazy-looking, beady orbs of abysmal darkness, filled with the kind of emptyness you see on a face of a battle hardened war criminal with an acquired taste for arson and torture

i hope this email finds you with a device hooked into your upper and lower jaws. when the timer at the back goes off, your mouth will be permanently ripped open. think of it like a reverse bear trap. here, i'll show you. there is only one key to open the device. it's in the stomach of your dead cellmate. look around, amanda. know that I'm not lying. better hurry up. live or die, make your choice.

Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing

*sees 2 notes* FUCK yes let's fucking GOOOO

Behemoth

I saw the opposite of this horse

HONSE & hrse

vader: who tore the warning sign off of this wampa cage?? storm trooper: security footage shows it was removed by a golden protocol droid vader: LOL

Vader in RotJ: wait the Alderaan princess is my daughter?? don’t know how to feel about that.

Luke: she strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with a chain.

Vader: OH HELL YEAH

why would you hide this in the tags that’s hilarious

girl help they are making me do my job at work

im yet to see a problem men say they face alone that isnt faced by everyone

'men suffer in silence' in my experience their 'silence' is so loud that it drowns out everyone elses to the point where they think they're the only ones suffering

vampires will never hurt you hilarious song. someone get me to the doctor and someone call the nurse and someone buy me roses and someone burned the church we’re hanging out with corpses and driving in this hearse. like we’re just listing goth shit that rules