@books-not-people / books-not-people.tumblr.com
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Wanna make a bat kids patrol playlist that Bruce isn't allowed to know about Babs is in charge of it and plays DJ any suggestions would be great cause I just know they would have a VERY eclectic playlist
Let the fun begin playlist will be on YouTube music will add link on this post when ready feed back is welcome just don't be a ass
Imagine Tim drake as a lawyer because I just watched legally blonde 2 and started tweaking when a Witty Skateboarding Timothy Mcginns appeared anyway I think it would be hilarious if Tim became a lawyer to piss off Bruce (and Jason)
Damian on patrol one night when he sees Red Hood and realises Jason followed him to Gotham and is absolutely going to be the most annoying older brother he can be despite refusing to reconcile with anyone else in the family and actively becoming a crime lord in the background
The pattern finally shifts when Damian has his first fight with Bruce. Damian is benched, pissed, and hiding in his room.
At least, that’s what the family thought until Alfred came back from fetching Damian for breakfast with a loud sigh. “It would seem Master Damian has elected to continue a family tradition, Sir.” he says. “Yet another child to join the household and inevitably find a way through the security system.”
So, a BatFamily level manhunt begins as they try to locate their littlest runaway bird.
Meanwhile, Damian has gone to the one person who he knows will respect his side of the argument, share his anger toward Bruce, and be able to get his mind of it; Jason.
When Robin slips into Crime Alley, Red Hood jumps at the chance to resume operation ‘annoy the kid’. That is, until he notices Robin barely reacting to his taunts.
“The fuck’s wrong with you? I stole your sword and you ain’t even moving.”
“My quarrel with you has been overshadowed.”
“…who?”
After all, Hood is the only one allowed to annoy the kid. That’s his game.
What the other heroes don't know, however, is that the static is Ghostspeak, and he's actually saying far worse swears than he could ever say in English or any living language.
Demon Twins au where Danny is just as good, if not better, at mimicking voices as Damian and decides to make it everyone’s problem.
Danny annoys and/or haunts goons by mimicking child’s laughter down dark hallways (where he, of course, also causes the temp to go down and lights to flicker)
He starts a side hustle where, if given a voice sample, will recreate the voice and say (within reason) whatever the person paying wants him to say.
This is great for people who may have gotten or found a note from a loved one and want to hear it in their voice.
It can be used for practical jokes or calling someone out of school or other sticky situations.
… it’s also, unfortunately, used by some hero fans in a less than appropriate context.
But $20 is $20 and Danny isn’t one to judge someone’s preferences if it’s not hurting anyone.
Until it does. Because someone *cough*Lex Luther*cough*, over time, has Danny say a couple things in Superman’s voice and then releases it as proof that he’s a terrible person.
Danny is quick to realize and freaks out. He releases the full or clipped portions of the audio to show where it came from with a caption stating: “I just thought the dude was into some freaky sadomaso, degrading kink stuff involving Superman. I didn’t realize it’d be used in this context… though I wouldn’t be surprised if he also used to it get off.”
Danny thinks the problem is solved as Luther is being horrendously memed and embarrassed online for getting audio sex tapes of Superman. Unbeknown to Danny, the Bats get curious and investigate as this could be a liability but also because it’s hilarious. Shenanigans ensue.
The Observants keep saying that, per the "rules", Superman has to stay there unless he can find a way to break out on his own.
The problem is that Danny doesn't think he's gonna do that, because Superman found a boy that he apparently adopted at some point during a previous breakout attempt and isn't gonna let that kid go any time soon. And the kid is bound to the Ghost Zone.
Clockwork isn't saying anything, just looking at Danny expectantly.
Danny...
Danny has a crazy idea.
"I'm formally adopting Superman. I'm Superman's dad now, and that kid's grandpa."
Danny has died and came back.
He obviously knows that, his friends and sister know that, but he may have forgotten the consequences of it.
Mainly, his now numerous “health issues” that other people (outside of Amity) would find… worrying.
That’s why he was denied access to the space program, or why the universities denied him scholarships, fearing he might not actually be able to finish their programs.
Danny didn’t really want to ask his parents for money either.
He knew they didn’t have a savings account for him, and he was actually trying to distance himself from them when he saw them finally keeping their promise of tearing apart ghosts “molecule by molecule”.
Lots of jobs wouldn’t hire him because of his “health conditions”, so he decided to leave Amity Park and travel to Gotham.
Getting help from Tucker, he found out about a grandfather (on his father’s side) who lived there and, after contacting him, offered Danny a place to stay until he found a job.
The address brought him to an… absolutely gigantic mansion, his jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at it.
Smiling at him, an old man with a sharp mustache offered Danny his hand.
“It is lovely to meet you, Danny. Certainly a surprise, but a welcome one.”
Danny smiled back, shaking it.
Alfred Pennyworth had a son, once. A son who decided to cut him off after college due to his growing obsession with the occult.
It was later that he found employment with the Waynes, missing his son every day and, admittedly, projecting a little on Bruce, loving him as his own.
After decades of silence, his apparent nephew contacted him out of the blue, asking for help.
Nobody could blame him for jumping at the occasion, so it was like this that (DNA test confirmed it) Danny Pennyworth Fenton started his training as a butler in Wayne Manor.
------------------------------------------------
It wasn't much later that Alfred noticed something wrong with the boy.
The slow breathing, the pale skin and occasional twitching.
Introducing him to the Waynes was chaos, as expected, but a couple of weeks later, everybody behaved like Danny had always been there, which was nice.
And, soon enough, there were more people noticing his nephew's odd behaviors.
On top of everything observed before, they noticed the nose bleeds, the way his skin would take a blue tint to it, the way he wouldn't use his left arm for a day or two...
Then one night, Alfred peered Danny's door open, like he did for every guest in the house, and he saw him.
His nephew, under the covers, perfectly still...
His eyes, unseeing but open wide...
His jaw slack and his skin cold...
tumblr media criticism
Okay I know this is a joke, but I was reading a book and after “another sleepless night” I wanted to tell the Main Character that she hadn’t slept for three days at that point and should probably seek medical help? Maybe from the magicians she was now hanging out with?
if tumblr shuts down you can find me on tumblr. ill still be here. they cant make me leave
Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—
Where’s the rest of the essay op
when Duke needs backup in a fight he uses his powers to blast bat-signal-esque signs into the sky to call for whatever sibling is best suited for the job. each sibling hates their calling sign, and even worse, they actually have to respond to it because Duke only uses them when he’s like three minutes away from dying so they literally have no choice, like if their symbol shows up they have to fucking BOLT over there regardless of the indignance or Duke will not make it
Jason: the middle finger emoji
Damian: a somehow detailed image of the Boss Baby
Dick: just the word ‘slut’ in bubble letters
Tim: the red robin restaurant logo, complete with ‘gourmet burgers and brews!’ underneath
Steph: a taco, in reference to a time when she was drunk one night and Tim got on video her chasing down a moving taco truck insistently only to face plant into the side of it when the driver finally stopped to let her buy one
Cass: her regular symbol, because shes the only one he respects completely and it drives the others insane to have one sibling un-harassed
Bruce doesn’t have one because he refuses to call for Bruce. Alfred has one, a shotgun, although it’s never been used, and it pisses Bruce off to no end.
Love some miserable Elon in the morning
it’s even more miserable than I thought
If I had a nickel for every time I got invested in a sibling dynamic where the blue-coded eldest is the "prodigy," the father figure’s favorite, the golden child, in the eyes of the red-coded younger sibling who holds resentment towards the elder’s perceived "perfection," while in reality, the eldest—often depicted as the responsible leader—struggles under the weight of that responsibility and the pressure to be a good role model, feeling like they have to live up to impossible standards (hello, eldest daughter syndrome), and the younger sibling, more impulsive and prone to anger, wrestles with feelings of being overshadowed and misunderstood, I’d have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it’s weird that it has happened twice… Then again, maybe it's not so weird because—let's be real—I’m a sucker for family angst in fiction.
Yeah and also the brother duo’s have a tech-savvy, intelligent younger brother!!
Dick, entering his apartment in Bludhaven: Hello people who do not live here.
Tim, playing a video game: Hey
Jason, reading a book: 'Sup
Damian, cleaning his katana: Hello
Duke, raiding the kitchen: Yo
Cass, on her phone: Hi
Dick: I gave you all a spare key for emergencies only
Jason: We ran out of doritos
