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dni if you like yellow

@boot-tea

I hate that yellow fucker teaboot
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Reblogged

Today I fell down the stairs while texting and when I got to the bottom I realized that I had hit the “audio message” function and sent them an entire 30 second recording of it

The clip is just 25 seconds of thumping noises followed by me assuring Ollie that Daddy is okay

I sent my carpet gremlins to trip you, not sorry.

you again

It’s always me. In every raindrop, every note sung in the shower, every scratch of your pencil, every reflection in a bathroom mirror, I linger, because I am the reverse of everything you exist for.

something homosexual Is happening here.

I may not be able to escape the lingering erotic tension between myself and my mortal enemy, but at least I can thank the gods that it is not heterosexual.

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how could you like the colour yellow

see a therapist immediately

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I actually used to hate it! Like, actually despise it! Yellow was too bright, too loud, discordant, unruly, and clashed with everything. Nothing like what I wanted in my life, nothing I wanted to be.

When I first moved away from home, everything I owned was black. Jet back. As black as I could get. Smooth, cool, sleek, discrete, calm, unassuming. Flexible, cohesive, agreeable black. Fashionable black.

I had a really, really bad time. Unrelated to the decor. It was my first year out of a toxic place I'd grown used to my whole life, my first year acknowledging a mental illness I'd believed to be normal, my first year fending for myself with very little money or sleep or companionship.

I'd grown up on instant white rice and unseasoned ground beef. One day I realized that everything I'd been raised on tasted like cardboard. While out on an assignment, I passed a tent with a woman selling spices, and bought myself some turmeric. I went home and tried making curry with it. It was so yellow.

Another time, my professor took us out to a modern art gallery. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but when we got there, the whole building had been painted bright sunshine yellow.

The artist's theme was "happiness".

What it is. How we make it. How to share it.

All bright, lovely yellow.

The house I grew up in was beige. The walls were white. The appliances were post 9/11 stainless steel. My job was to be quiet, compliant, presentable and agreeable.

Black goes with everything. Black is neutral. Black is quiet, reserved, elegant and mysterious.

Yellow is warm. Yellow does what it wants. Yellow tastes sweet and spicy and hot and cool, like a summer breeze, like sunflower petals, powdery like dust on a long dirt road and soothing like well-worn linen.

I still like the look of black. I like the look of most colors. But I like the way that Yellow makes me feel.

Do you understand?

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@boot-tea was dis your main asking?

It was not, but I commend their efforts on behalf of the anti-yellow army.

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Delighted to inform the masses that the post below this one was a teaboot post.

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What the hell do you people want why am I getting like four followers this week. Are you spies. For big yellow.

WHAT NO… that’s CRAZY you’re crazy man *shuffles to hide big yellow poster of teaboot’s profile*

Must’ve been the wind

What the hell do you people want why am I getting like four followers this week. Are you spies. For big yellow.

Avatar
Reblogged

Today I fell down the stairs while texting and when I got to the bottom I realized that I had hit the “audio message” function and sent them an entire 30 second recording of it

The clip is just 25 seconds of thumping noises followed by me assuring Ollie that Daddy is okay

I sent my carpet gremlins to trip you, not sorry.

you again

It’s always me. In every raindrop, every note sung in the shower, every scratch of your pencil, every reflection in a bathroom mirror, I linger, because I am the reverse of everything you exist for.

Avatar
Reblogged

Today I fell down the stairs while texting and when I got to the bottom I realized that I had hit the “audio message” function and sent them an entire 30 second recording of it

The clip is just 25 seconds of thumping noises followed by me assuring Ollie that Daddy is okay

I sent my carpet gremlins to trip you, not sorry.

why are you people tormenting me on Christmas Day. Get out of my notes. Don’t you have anything better to do. Yellow loving fucks.

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

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@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

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never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

I come when I’m called.

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Reblogged

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

Avatar

@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

Avatar

never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

you heard me! Either step into the ring or hop into bed

I don’t have a dick or a vagina but a secret third thing. so that might be kinda hard actually

then step into the boxing ring. there's nothing "hard" about this

Everyone I’ve ever stepped into the boxing ring with has become my sweet lover instead. Curse my beautiful face

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Reblogged

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

Avatar

@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

Avatar

never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

you heard me! Either step into the ring or hop into bed

I don’t have a dick or a vagina but a secret third thing. so that might be kinda hard actually

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

Avatar

@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

Avatar

never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

Avatar
Reblogged

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

Avatar

@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

Avatar

never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

@conkreetmonkey this was on page 6. Timeline bleed-through and temporal oxbows.

Clearly @boot-tea was carried over from the original timeline and is naturally resentful of their dopoleganer

stop studying me like a bug

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Reblogged

do you have a nemesis named boottea?

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I feel like Light Yagami trying to answer this

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*dark shadowed closeup of eyes* Can't say yes because that's not funny. If I say no then it is an invitation for someone to create a parody blog. If someone creates a parody blog then I will be able to banter with them, but if shit goes south I may be culpable for any fallout. Do I make a quip about how Boottea sounds like booty? No, far too pedestrian. Do I invent a false backstop and run with the joke? No, I will fall flat. I could ignore the question, but I do like the creativity and think it needs to be rewarded with an engaging response. Am I overthinking this? Should I just leave it? No, then they will know I had nothing. I cannot quit now. It is no longer about the response itself: its about sending a message. So, what message do I send? Something relatable, which sidesteps an actual response. A meme, perhaps. Something that says, "I'm awkward, but in a self-aware way". Jesus, I am overthinking. This is probably how a death note character would plan a tumblr response. Wait

*dark shadowed view of figure sitting in chair* hmmm… I’ll need to take a new approach. Despite the traps I’ve set, teaboot still seems to make his posts funny. How is he doing it? Where is he hiding? He knows that I know, surely. He’s lying in wait while I make my move so that he can make a better joke. Of course, he knows just saying yes would be too on the nose… but saying no would lead me right to him. Of course, if he leads me right to him, he will be forced to banter for the sake of the bit. However, this could take a more sinister turn and he’ll end up being cancelled by TERFs again. How long will he take to make his move? Is he overthinking things? Am I overthinking things? Is there any of that red velvet cake left? What will you do, teaboot? I will find you, and I will stop your tomfoolery. I am Justice.

ah, so they've finally revealed themselves. What now? Continue the roles as they've been set, at the risk of being cringe? No, cringe is dead. But, ah, is that settling for the easy path? Simple, expected, predictable- too predictable. This game begun on the pretense that I am light yagami, Kira, methodical and meticulous in my planning. If I am to defeat this foe, I must move beyond Kira, beyond the script that we two set. Become jarring, impulsive, absurd, and make a move that the real Kira would never make. Yes, that's it-!

I will put you in the Soup.

Avatar
Reblogged

Ok, I'm gonna try something: rewriting the past so that something was, retroactively, always true, and everyone but me remembers it that way. Probably irresponsible to play with the timeline like this, the warning section of this things instruction manual go on for like 8 pages... shit about "causal loops" and "unintended consequences" and whatnot... eh, baloney, I'm just gonna try it with something minor and silly:

Your URL is not, and never was, boot tea. Instead, it is, and since the creation of your blog has always been, teaboot.

Avatar

@boot-tea is actually my nemesis who HATES the colour yellow, I think you might be in the wrong timeline bro sorry :/

Avatar

never mention me again or I’ll microwave both sides of all of your pillows every night for the rest of your miserable yellow loving life. every day you get on your knees and suck off the color yellow like it’s some kind of god but god is not within the range of what humans have created for ourselves to perceive. how does it feel

Avatar
Reblogged

do you have a nemesis named boottea?

Avatar

I feel like Light Yagami trying to answer this

Avatar

*dark shadowed closeup of eyes* Can't say yes because that's not funny. If I say no then it is an invitation for someone to create a parody blog. If someone creates a parody blog then I will be able to banter with them, but if shit goes south I may be culpable for any fallout. Do I make a quip about how Boottea sounds like booty? No, far too pedestrian. Do I invent a false backstop and run with the joke? No, I will fall flat. I could ignore the question, but I do like the creativity and think it needs to be rewarded with an engaging response. Am I overthinking this? Should I just leave it? No, then they will know I had nothing. I cannot quit now. It is no longer about the response itself: its about sending a message. So, what message do I send? Something relatable, which sidesteps an actual response. A meme, perhaps. Something that says, "I'm awkward, but in a self-aware way". Jesus, I am overthinking. This is probably how a death note character would plan a tumblr response. Wait

*dark shadowed view of figure sitting in chair* hmmm… I’ll need to take a new approach. Despite the traps I’ve set, teaboot still seems to make his posts funny. How is he doing it? Where is he hiding? He knows that I know, surely. He’s lying in wait while I make my move so that he can make a better joke. Of course, he knows just saying yes would be too on the nose… but saying no would lead me right to him. Of course, if he leads me right to him, he will be forced to banter for the sake of the bit. However, this could take a more sinister turn and he’ll end up being cancelled by TERFs again. How long will he take to make his move? Is he overthinking things? Am I overthinking things? Is there any of that red velvet cake left? What will you do, teaboot? I will find you, and I will stop your tomfoolery. I am Justice.

ah, so they've finally revealed themselves. What now? Continue the roles as they've been set, at the risk of being cringe? No, cringe is dead. But, ah, is that settling for the easy path? Simple, expected, predictable- too predictable. This game begun on the pretense that I am light yagami, Kira, methodical and meticulous in my planning. If I am to defeat this foe, I must move beyond Kira, beyond the script that we two set. Become jarring, impulsive, absurd, and make a move that the real Kira would never make. Yes, that's it-!

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