This is universal. This comedy transcends time and language.

Hes right

#my guy lost knife priviledges real fast

Had the funniest kid on a field trip today who had obviously been on my tour before but wouldn’t fess up to it and instead just pretended to be deducing and intuiting the answer to every question on the spot. I didn’t rat him out because I didn’t want to embarrass him and because I was really impressed with his recall. He’d clearly learned and retained a lot and I was flattered!

I was like “does anyone know why fire might be important to a prairie ecosystem?” and he raised his and said, with this theatrically exaggerated air of thoughtful consideration: “I think it might be because many native prairie plants have deep roots and keep most of their biomass safe beneath the soil, so that when a fire burns the dead plant matter above ground, the roots stay alive and can grow back stronger on the nutrients from the fire?”

like yeah dude it’s like you read my mind or are receiving my whole spiel from memory with suspiciously exact phrasing… good job

people keep tagging this Tim Drake and I’m trying to wrap my head around the concept of “Batfam, but they’re public park rangers”

This is for all you ladies out there.

the struggle is real

I have a trans man story about this.

Since I’m pre-t I still have my period but since I’m socially out as trans I use men’s bathrooms. One time at the college the family bathroom was taken and so I went into the men’s room to do my business. I tried opening the little pad as quietly as I could manage, but the rustling and ripping sound still happened. I froze in silence because I didn’t know if the other guy in the men’s room heard it or not.

Then after a little bit of silence I hear…

“Who has a bag of chips?”

And in a panic I just whisper back to him “I’m not sharing.”

Then I hear a huff before he finished his business and left.

REBLOGGING FOR THE ABOVE

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/theyre-not-human-how-19th-century-inuit-coped-with-a-real-life-invasion-of-the-walking-dead

Indigenous groups across the Americas had all encountered Europeans differently. But where other coastal groups such as the Haida or the Mi’kmaq had met white men who were well-fed and well-dressed, the Inuit frequently encountered their future colonizers as small parties on the edge of death.

“I’m sure it terrified people,” said Eber, 91, speaking to the National Post by phone from her Toronto home.

And it’s why, as many as six generations after the events of the Franklin Expedition, Eber was meeting Inuit still raised on stories of the two giant ships that came to the Arctic and discharged columns of death onto the ice.

Inuit nomads had come across streams of men that “didn’t seem to be right.” Maddened by scurvy, botulism or desperation, they were raving in a language the Inuit couldn’t understand. In one case, hunters came across two Franklin Expedition survivors who had been sleeping for days in the hollowed-out corpses of seals.

“They were unrecognizable they were so dirty,” Lena Kingmiatook, a resident of Taloyoak, told Eber.

Mark Tootiak, a stepson of Nicholas Qayutinuaq, related a story to Eber of a group of Inuit who had an early encounter with a small and “hairy” group of Franklin Expedition men evacuating south.

“Later … these Inuit heard that people had seen more white people, a lot more white people, dying,” he said. “They were seen carrying human meat.”

Even Eber’s translator, the late Tommy Anguttitauruq, recounted a goose hunting trip in which he had stumbled upon a Franklin Expedition skeleton still carrying a clay pipe.

By 1850, coves and beaches around King William Island were littered with the disturbing remnants of their advance: Scraps of clothing and camps still littered with their dead occupants. Decades later, researchers would confirm the Inuit accounts of cannibalism when they found bleached human bones with their flesh hacked clean.

“I’ve never in all my life seen any kind of spirit — I’ve heard the sounds they make, but I’ve never seen them with my own eyes,” said the old man who had gone out to investigate the Franklin survivors who had straggled into his camp that day on King William Island.

The figures’ skin was cold but it was not “cold as a fish,” concluded the man. Therefore, he reasoned, they were probably alive.

“They were beings but not Inuit,” he said, according to the account by shaman Nicholas Qayutinuaq.

The figures were too weak to be dangerous, so Inuit women tried to comfort the strangers by inviting them into their igloo.

But close contact only increased their alienness: The men were timid, untalkative and — despite their obvious starvation — they refused to eat.

The men spit out pieces of cooked seal offered to them. They rejected offers of soup. They grabbed jealous hold of their belongings when the Inuit offered to trade.

When the Inuit men returned to the camp from their hunt, they constructed an igloo for the strangers, built them a fire and even outfitted the shelter with three whole seals.

Then, after the white men had gone to sleep, the Inuit quickly packed up their belongings and fled by moonlight.

Whether the pale-skinned visitors were qallunaat or “Indians” — the group determined that staying too long around these “strange people” with iron knives could get them all killed.

“That night they got all their belongings together and took off towards the southwest,” Qayutinuaq told Dorothy Eber.

But the true horror of the encounter wouldn’t be revealed until several months later.

The Inuit had left in such a hurry that they had abandoned several belongings. When a small party went back to the camp to retrieve them, they found an igloo filled with corpses.

The seals were untouched. Instead, the men had eaten each other.

I, reading this for the first time, have the look on my face right now.

Cover artists: Jack Burnley - #20, 23 & 27 (both with Charles Paris); Win Mortimer - #54.

I love these early World's Finest Comics covers with Superman and Robin messing with each other (sometimes with an assist from Batman).

This was the period before Superman and Batman and Robin actually teamed-up inside the book, which was an anthology title, but they shared every single cover. The covers usually showed the three pals having fun playing baseball, or basketball, skiing, going to the swimming hole, or other activities boys liked to do.

Inside Superman and Batman (with Robin) had solo stories, along with whatever other characters were featured.

It wasn't until Superman (vol. 1 ) #76 (May, 1952) that Superman and Batman actually met in a comic book story, and accidentally learned each other's secret identity at the same time.

And they wouldn't begin teaming-up in World's Finest Comics for another two years, in #71 (July-August, 1954). As a cost saving measure, the book's page count was cut, along with the anthology format. The editors decided to put their most popular characters together in the one story there was room for, and a tradition was born. The Superman-Batman team-ups would, except for a short period around issue #200, be the format of the book until it was cancelled in 1986 with issue #323.

Jason, being a semi-canonic common hallucination in the family after his death, could lead to the stupidest AU ever.

Imagine everyone seeing him — Bruce, half of the time, Dick non-stop, Tim more often than not, and eventually even Alfred starts seeing little boy's silhouette in the corner of his eye, but he never admits it, because someone needs to stay sane in this family.

It is a lot like real-life cases when cult families start to see collective hallucination, and it somehow syncronises in their minds, so they hear and see the same things, you know?

So, yeah, everyone sees Jaybin around.

Everyone but Damian. Damian is a normal one. He also knows his Akhi is alive and well, so whatever. And it takes him some time to figure out that his family is bat-shit insane, but when he does, he decides to use it on his advantage.

So, a few days after this call, Jason arrives at the Wayne Manor. He still thinks his brother's plan sucks, but gaslighting is one of his many talents, so surely, they will figure something out. He can lie his way through this meeting.

Expect, he doesn't even need to lie. His family is actually insane.

Jason waits for the moment of clarity to happen as he chats with Damian in the kitchen, but... nothing changes. They really, really think he is a hallucination. So... he starts hanging out around more. Both because Damian is getting angsty, and because it is kinda... amusing.

Dick visits the Manor. He cooes at Jason, muttering something about "of course, he would have grown up in a punk," and Jason almost breaks his role to hit him on the head.

Alfred figures out that Jason is real, eventually. Solely because he catches him sneaking a few extra cookies, and hallucinations are not supposed to eat. He plays along with him and Damian until the very end, anyway.

(Damian ends up winning the bet because Jason loses it once and pushes Bruce down the stairs, when he starts reciting some precautionary tale about him. Everyone is flabbergasted.)

DpxDc #8

Sleeping like the dead.

Danny has died and came back.

He obviously knows that, his friends and sister know that, but he may have forgotten the consequences of it.

Mainly, his now numerous “health issues” that other people (outside of Amity) would find… worrying.

That’s why he was denied access to the space program, or why the universities denied him scholarships, fearing he might not actually be able to finish their programs.

Danny didn’t really want to ask his parents for money either.

He knew they didn’t have a savings account for him, and he was actually trying to distance himself from them when he saw them finally keeping their promise of tearing apart ghosts “molecule by molecule”.

Lots of jobs wouldn’t hire him because of his “health conditions”, so he decided to leave Amity Park and travel to Gotham.

Getting help from Tucker, he found out about a grandfather (on his father’s side) who lived there and, after contacting him, offered Danny a place to stay until he found a job.

The address brought him to an… absolutely gigantic mansion, his jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at it.

Smiling at him, an old man with a sharp mustache offered Danny his hand.

“It is lovely to meet you, Danny. Certainly a surprise, but a welcome one.”

Danny smiled back, shaking it.

Alfred Pennyworth had a son, once. A son who decided to cut him off after college due to his growing obsession with the occult.

It was later that he found employment with the Waynes, missing his son every day and, admittedly, projecting a little on Bruce, loving him as his own.

After decades of silence, his apparent nephew contacted him out of the blue, asking for help.

Nobody could blame him for jumping at the occasion, so it was like this that (DNA test confirmed it) Danny Pennyworth Fenton started his training as a butler in Wayne Manor.

------------------------------------------------

It wasn't much later that Alfred noticed something wrong with the boy.

The slow breathing, the pale skin and occasional twitching.

Introducing him to the Waynes was chaos, as expected, but a couple of weeks later, everybody behaved like Danny had always been there, which was nice.

And, soon enough, there were more people noticing his nephew's odd behaviors.

On top of everything observed before, they noticed the nose bleeds, the way his skin would take a blue tint to it, the way he wouldn't use his left arm for a day or two...

Then one night, Alfred peered Danny's door open, like he did for every guest in the house, and he saw him.

His nephew, under the covers, perfectly still...

His eyes, unseeing but open wide...

His jaw slack and his skin cold...

<3 THE WISE WORDS OF A WISE LESBIAN RHINO-THEMED SUPERLADY <3

Kid Juggernaut: Lesbian of the bar, what is thy wisdom?

Rhinoceress: Big bodies are hot as fuck, screw anyone who disagree

"I SHALL HEED YOUR WISE WORDS"

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.

Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.

And your tuba

I just saw a post giving a what-if Bruce, instead of removing Jason’s portraits after his death, had an artist paint in 15 year old Jason to family ones (of course prior to being revealed to be alive).

Now, my brain being my brain, immediately went to the concept of Victorian death photography which was were the recently deceased were photographed, often alongside living relatives.

But, Bruce wouldn’t quite do that, but he might do the thing that was sometimes done in paintings to suggest a family death by having an object representing Jason covered in a black shroud (this was usually done with cribs in such paintings).

Why would he do something like this? Because the man likes to make himself suffer.

When he comes back, Jason isn’t sure if he’s touched or freaked out by them.

—

I can also see Tim messing around with photos the one day to see if he could replicate the ‘ghost photos’ where a dead loved one looks like they are in the photo (very popular in the US in the mid to late 1800s. I know it’s a double exposure trick, but photography isn’t my strong suit).

He was trying to do this to cheer up Bruce, Dick, and Alfred. But it just made all of them upset so he never tried it again.

Or, if you want to go super spooky, maybe he did catch Jason’s spirit on film and no one else believed Tim.

The Blue Spirit putting out firebending with a bucket of water is the absolute funniest thing ever done in avatar combat. It just is.

oh my god @murple

In a bit of shameless self-promotion, I’m going to share a relevant scene from my fanfic series The Legend of Scout Li (based on an amazing outline by @muffinlance).

The premise is that Zuko is knocked out in the fight in “Zuko Alone”, wakes up with amnesia and enlisted in the Earth Army as “Scout Li”, and promptly makes that everyone else’s problem.

Excerpt from A Legend is Born: Chapter 6 - “Crazy Dramatic Awesome”

(Thanks to commenter wellcrud for the scene idea!)

You might also enjoy:

The Legend of Scout Li (44,000 words, Gen, Complete)

In case you have been wondering why I haven’t updated fics consistently it’s because of Artemis.

In case you’re wondering why I haven’t updated. Artemis has beef with my laptop and does this every single time I pull it out

Give her a laptop so she can write too

I’ve got the breast cancer clinic later today and although it’s purely a preventative checkup (a benign fibroid was identified on my mammogram a year ago, so they’re keeping an eye on it to make sure it stays benign) my anxiety always spikes like nothing else.

They should invent bodies that don’t get sick.

Boobs are still cancer free 👍

Reblogging for luck with my appointment on Thursday I guess.

Sharing my healthy boob luck to anyone who needs it 🍀✨

Chimney swift doing what a chimney swift does best…clinging to stuff

📸: South Florida Wildlife Center

Tiny griffin species

more comic characters should haunt their writers like how everyone who’s written John Constantine keeps meeting him in dark alleys

What The Actual Fuck

@stealingyourbones

Identity shenanigans are a hallmark of all superhero fanfictions and i will never get tired of writing them.

This is from chapter 19 of my fic Better Halves (and other such falsehoods) which is like 100k (so far) of Tim and Danny being idiots like this please go read it it's a labor of love.

just the painted bit below the cut :) if you want it