the party boy

“biblically accurate angels” ezekiel is ONE BOOK 😭

'Biblically accurate angels' is actually just a statistical error. The average angel has a humanoid form. Ezekiel's Eldritch Many-Eyed Georg, whose true form is terrifying and incomprehensible, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre

I grew up with a grandma who quilted, but she’d never been interested in passing along the hobby, so when she finally kicked it I was the grandkid who got all her materials, ‘cause I was the only one who knew how to use a sewing machine. Then, in 2015, a friend had a baby and I figured I’d make her a quilt, ‘cause how hard could it be?

oh

my

god

Luckily I am the stubbornest human alive, ‘cause I never woulda finished otherwise. I didn’t know what I was doing, didn’t know the terms to look up how to do anything, I musta reinvented the wheel like eight times and it took ten months, BUT I DID IT.

Figured I’d suffered enough and would never do it again and now I’m on quilt #9 smdh

————————–

I’m hyperventilating.

Holy shit. Holy SHIT.

This is INCREDIBLE.

Oh my god.

I’ve gotta go lay down holy shit look at this how do we just walk by other human beings every day and live our separate lives when there’s a person sitting next to you on the train or in line for coffee who goes home and makes things like this what even IS being human holy shit.

GOOD FUCKING JOB.

Oh heck I did not expect the notes to blow up on this, UM

Okay so on a purely technical level, this is not that difficult, you just gotta come at it a little sideways.

The background of this sucker is just rows of 1.5″-wide fabric strips. I can’t remember the exact pattern, but I wanna say it was something like one row 6″ strips, one row 4.5″ strips, one row alternating? I don’t remember exactly, it was a while ago. That’s not difficult, you just lay it out and sew it all together one row at a time. It’s not hard, just tedious.

The fish are a lil different. I can’t draw, there is a disconnect somewhere and my hands are stupid, so I figured out probably fifteen years ago that tracing was the way to go. For this, I legit just yanked several photos of fancy-looking goldfish off the internet and traced over ‘em in Photoshop.

Once I had enough, I printed my outlines, laid ‘em out on the background to create the idea of movement, and then traced the outlines out on fabric and pinned the hell out of ‘em.

This woulda been WAY easier with Heat ‘N Bond, but I didn’t know that was a thing at the time. From there I just used just about every fancy stitch on my inherited sewing machine to make the fish STAY WHERE I PUT THEM, and also look good.

I have since learned this is called “raw edge applique” but whatever. It’s fun, it’s neat, you can do it with a bunch of stuff and impress the hell outta people. More recently, it’s how I’ve gone from this:

to this:

(this was another project I SUFFERED over unnecessarily, because I’m the dip that decided to quilt the waves, like a moron)

god that sucked but it looked SO COOL when I was done!

I’m very sorry to tell you that if you thought we would be less impressed with you after this update you were very mistaken. I’ll say again:

Holy. Shit.

DO YOU HEAR ME? GET UP.

Perhaps it's just because I'm a short woman who happens to enjoy both frilly dresses and sex, but I get so mad when people say Ariana grande or Sabrina carpenter are encouraging pedos by uh .... being short, enjoying cute things, and enjoying sex. I'm sorry some adult women are very cute and hot and like sex. And it literally has nothing to do with children. The people accusing them of being creeps are the ones inserting children into the discussion at all. (hyumjim voice) And I'm NOT supposed to be creeped out by that???

This post got me blocked by a mutual but I don't care I'm an advocate of women expressing their sexuality EVEN IF they have committed the crime of being short.

The continued infantilization of women in the age discourse fuckery has gotten us here: Where a grown ass woman wearing things she likes must be...whatever the fuck this is.

Sorry not sorry women in their 20s are happy in their bodies and their fashion you fucking weirdos.

“I’m just a girl” first of all you’re a grown ass woman second of all free yourself

I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

@sunflowers-and-polka-dots @foursixtwonineoh-pizzas-of-lego

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

As a positive thinker, I prefer to think of it as a trolley opportunity

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'

I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true

brain: you have to follow all of these unwritten unspoken arbitrary rules i made up or else everyone around you will Know

me: know what

brain:

me: waht will they know

brain:

me: oh fuck what if they Know