another self-insert oc

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

the reviews are in

Barbie collectors: wow this doll has such a pretty face :) ok time to perform surgery and give her A New Body

Monster high collectors: does anyone have a 2011 g1 scaretastic cuntacular freak off circus lagoona

"found family" no these are simply my fellow hostages

we woke up chained to the same radiator. it's been 18 months we have yet to established a rapport

embarrassment has good bones

When everything is embarrassing, that’s a sign that your passion is waking up, and it wants more. Your desire is a tender sprout that wants more water, more sunshine. It wants you to give up on SEEMING happy and in control and to start FEELING joy instead, even when it feels a little too big, even when it makes you cry, even when it forces you to question where you are and why.

Passion and desire and shame and sadness don’t signal that you have to change everything immediately, though. These are sensations that don’t require solutions. Your primary job, in the face of renewed lust for life, is to tolerate the shame of joy.

Because embarrassment is sometimes just a sign that you’ve never lived out in the open before, you’ve never cared more about a feeling than you care about how you’re coming across, you’ve never prioritized happiness over control.

This is why it’s good to take risks that might embarrass you regularly. Because every time you dare to embarrass yourself for the sake of who you are, you’re teaching your body to prioritize joy. You’re teaching yourself to let go of seeming better than the things you love. You’re showing yourself how to feel where you are — to soak in the cool fall air, to breathe in the moon, to love every lopsided moment of your glorious, flawed life.

Shame is a Side Effect of Desire, Heather Havrilesky

I Worried, Mary Oliver

It’s all about the he/they she/they bullshit 🗣️🗣️🗣️

It should be night for a month just so we can see who panics who lives and who dies

we must promote fat sluttiness to rub it in the faces of the assholes who told us it was shameful

cuddling with my bf at home is great Bean will be like okay I have to lie down on both of you simultaneously for even cuddle distribution

I'd like to seest thou solveth THIS Puzzle!

The Rouxls art Simple: Thou must Drawest a Line that passeth througheth Each and Every Doore one singular time - BUT! The line cannot passeth through any Doore Twice!

Now, Toil and Despair at the Magnitude of my Puzzle!

give me a harder one next time

GOD

DAMNIT

I also did it a different way Sir Rouxls

FINE! Let'st seeth thou haveth thyself a crack at THIS Puzzle! As you can seeth, there art now a Lesser Amounte of Doorse. Thust, thouse options haveth now been diminished EXPONENTIALESTLY! Oh, whatstoever wiltst you doeth nowe? I can alreadye feel thou're Fragile Minde WRITHINGE in Paine and Agonye! GEH HEH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!! eth

What do I win?

WHAT!? Thou, thou... thou CHEATER! Thou can'st possibly have solvedeth mine Puzzle that quickly! Thou CHEATEDETHED! CHEATER!

Ahhhhhh... 'Tis no matter. Even IFST thou cheateth, thou will NEVER makest it pasth mine ULTIMATE PUZZLE!

There art only ONE possible Solutione, out of HUNDREDTHS of Optionse! Thou wilt be Screamingeth and Cryingest aseth thou faileth to solveth iteth!

It art UTTERLY HOPELESS! HAVE AT YE!

...

Fuck you

Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

god, your worst warrior needs money

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

The great thing about having friends and acquaintances across a variety of professions is to really hammer home as much as possible the fact there is literally zero correlation between the amount someone actually works, the amount they contribute to society, and how much they make in a year.

i look like a 5 gum wrapper dude this is sick