Two Goats. Good Price.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.

goodness gracious his face .

there’s a big difference between “i’m sad because a character i was emotionally invested in was killed off” and “this character’s death served no purpose, was used for shock value, and is the product of bad writing and i’m upset about that”

canceled my prime membership today

I...tried to make a meme and got carried away and made A Thing that is like partially unfinished because i spent like 3 hours on it and then got tired.

I think this is mostly scientifically accurate but truth be told, there seems to be relatively little research on succession in regards to lawns specifically (as opposed to like, pastures). I am not exaggerating how bad they are for biodiversity though—recent research has referred to them as "ecological deserts."

Feel free to repost, no need for credit

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”

That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!

PEER REVIEWED

when my brother was in toddler hockey they had to skate back and forth between the stands to practice going fast and it was AMAZING cause they were so slow and wobbly so it was just a line of a dozen little armoured-up little meatball tanks frantically shuffling away from you, then they’d have to stop turn and come back and none of them were taller than the wall so you’s just see shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle, ALL OUT OF VIEW, then hear think-thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk as they all slowly collided with it one by one

Children doing things are so motivated and terrible and enthusiastic, they’re like puppies

I love movies where the plot takes place in less than a day. It’s like. What if these people were experiencing the worst 8 hours of the entire lives and you got to see the highlight reel?

i want to masturbate but i cant afford the name brand stuff so im always jakeing off and busting a rut and shit

such base indulgences are beneath me

now if youll excuse me. back to meating off.

Going to a seder at a family friend's place tonight and I have been informed multiple times that someone there has changed her name to Stephanie, but because it seems nobody wants to deadname her, nobody has specified who Stephanie is. So I guess I'm just going to get a surprise Stephanie when I arrive.

I am among the first people to arrive which means I get to play a fun process of elimination game. It is not the family's youngest child so I think that leaves two more. Unless Stephanie is an aunt or a niece or something.

Have learned that Stephanie is the eldest child. Which is very convenient for me because she is the one family member whose name I could not remember anyway.

Shout out to Stephanie's friend who read this post and called me out on it during the seder.

university is like a video game. you can pick up sidequests. Youre gonna neglect the main storyline. youre gonna end up in a guild of sorts. i just looted a bush on campus and found a sticker

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

My favourite thing in the world is seeing folks act like real human beings around big celebrity personalities

baking with my mama

Baking with my mama 🍞🥖🥐