ibuprofen should grow on bushes like wild berries

really do wish everyone finds peace within themselves

all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen

”this file type is not supported” umm grow up?

forehead kisses are so healing i need a million

stuck in a timeloop called i just have to get through this week

everything. cost money

stop this

online posting is like military combat and im the brave general and you are all the footsoldiers fighting in the tranches

Tranch

Tranch

im sending you both on a mission into enemy territory and i dont expect either of you to return

chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

if i lived in the mushroom kingdom luigi and i would be best friends

mario and i would have a mutual respect for each other but we never really clicked

princess peach would have me executed via firing squad for the role i played in the infamous toad town murders of '96 but it would be later discovered that my involvement was greatly exaggerated and the severity of my sentence will weigh on peachs mind as she feels like it sullied her reputation as a fair and just ruler

daisy and i would play tennis

Waluigi and I fucked

waluigi and this guy fucked

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

i mean this completely seriously but… a cup of coffee can save your life a little, a shower can save your life a little, making your favorite meal can save your life a little…….little things actually add up to really big things in the long run if you let them, the secret to surviving everyday is infusing a little bit of magic into the mundane i truly believe that

why aren’t all mugs microwave safe. grow up.

woke up with a certain sadness permeating inside of me. i'll let it visit but it cannot stay.

people will be like “don’t worry it’s all in your head!” like babe… yes… that’s the problem… how do i get it out of there…