10D Chess
MADOKA - โIโm thinking Iโll order a beef udon bowl, since Sayaka-chan told me that they make those really good here. What about you, Homura-chan?โ
CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - Food needs can be met with an expenditure of 1.23% of total magic. Proceed?
GRIEF SYNDROME [Trivial: Success] - MAGICAL GIRLS THAT IGNORE FOOD ARE OFTEN MORE PRONE TO GRIEF ACCUMULATION. MY ARMS WILL ALWAYS BE WAITING FOR YOU, HOMURA, BUT ITโS IMPORTANT TO BE HAPPY UNTIL THAT DAY. BESIDES, MADOKA WANTS TO EAT WITH YOU. DISAPPOINTING HER WILL FILL YOUR SOUL GEM WITH A HALF A GRIEF SEED WORTH OF DESPAIR.
TEA WITH MAMI-SAN [Legendary: Success] - Sayaka says the beef bowl is good? Maybe go for that. She knows Madokaโs tastes better than anyone โ and if Madoka likes something, you will certainly like it too.
- โI will have the same as you, Madoka.โ
- โIโm not feeling very hungry.โ
- [CALL AND RESPONSE - Medium 10] Come up with an order on your own
CALL AND RESPONSE - [Medium: Failure] - Youโve eaten here before, youโre pretty sure. Was it Loop 32โฆ no, Loop 12..? No, wait, it was on the first Friday of Loop 68. Noโฆ thatโs not right. Youโve never eaten here before. In a stunning display of incompetence, you have taken Madoka on a date to a restaurant that you have never experienced before.
THE ANGEL - Itโs okay, Homura-chan! I donโt mind if you havenโt eaten here before. Remember what real me said, Sayaka thinks this place is good! And even if itโs not perfect, thatโs okay, just spending time with you makes me happy.
THE CRAVEN MASSES - Sayaka has raised her blade against Madoka 16 times before. You should leave this restaurant and kill her. It would only take-
FALLING SAND [Trivial: Success] - 1528 seconds on average.
CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - It can be cut down to 1243 seconds with an expenditure of 2.7% of total magic pool.
THE CRAVEN MASSES - Exactly. Do it in front of her family and make it bloody. Kyoko would likely try and stop you, but even she isnโt immune to bullets. And if Mami comes for revenge, well, you know the exact words you could say that would destroy her, donโt you?
THE ANGEL - A-Ah, I think thatโs a bit of an extreme reaction, Homura-chan!
HUMAN SHELL - Your heart rate is increasing. Stop that. You have absolute control over your flesh. Act like it.
MOE INSTINCT - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT ARE WE GOING TO ORDER MADOKA IS GOING TO LAUGH AT US
WITCHโS NIGHT - Isโฆ is this a trap? Walpurgis may be defeated, but you know that the stage witch never truly ceases its show. Perhaps this restaurant is a part of the stage?
MADOKA - โUm, are you okay, Homura-chan?โ
MOE INSTINCT - OH GOD SHE HATES US
- โIโm going to kill myself.โ
- โIโm so sorry. Would killing myself make you feel more comfortable?โ
- Isnโt there anything else you can say?
YOU - Isnโt there anything else you can say?
THE DEVIL - Come on, Homura. Itโs high time you do it. Really, this is just another in the long, long chain of failures that make up your life. The only way to fix it is to kill yourself.
CLOCKWORK PRECISION - Target: Located on right ring finger. Target is not moving. Chance to hit: High. Plan: Retrieve pistol. Aim pistol at ring. Pull trigger.
THE ANGEL - Oh my god, please do not do that!
- "I am going to kill myself."
- "I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."
- "I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"
- There. There has to be better options than this.
YOU - There. There has to be better options than this.
MOE INSTINCT - I CANโT TAKE IT ANY MORE. THE ONLY RECOURSE IS IMMEDIATE SUICIDE. THATโS THE ONLY WAY MADOKA WILL LOVE YOU AGAIN.
- "I am going to kill myself."
- "I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."
- "I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"
YOU - โIโm going to kill myself.โ
MADOKA - Madokaโs face twists, her eyebrows raising slightly in shock. Whatever response she was expecting, it was clearly not this.
GRIEF SYNDROME [Challenging: Success] - IF MADOKA WAS A MAGICAL GIRL, HER SOUL GEM WOULD FILL BY A QUARTER HEARING YOU SPEAK THOSE WORDS. THAT WAS CRUEL, HOMURA.
MOE INSTINCT - WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
MADOKA - โIโm so sorry, Homura-chan. Please donโt do that. Iโฆ I really care about you and so does everyone else.โ Madokaโs eyes fill with tears as she speaks. She hugs you.
DAMAGED MORALE -4
CALL AND RESPONSE [Trivial: Success] - Quick, tell her you were making an edgy joke that didnโt land. Youโve gotten away with that before, youโre pretty sure.
SPACE-TIME MASSACRE - Twelve quarter shifts left and two up from your current space-time position, and thereโs a Japan that itโs actually illegal to not commit suicide in.
FALLING SAND - Youโve been seated for 5 minutes and 32.5 seconds already and still have not ordered. Mami has requested your presence at her apartment in 3.4 hours from now.
TEA WITH MAMI-SAN - She wants to help you find a hobby. Sheโs really worried about you, you know.
STRINGS OF FATE - You can feel Madokaโs heart beat in sync with yours as she holds you. Everything will be alright, as long as you follow the beat.
THE ANGEL - Yeah! Itโs okay Homura-chan. Just explain whatโs been going on and Madoka will understand. And then order something, itโs important to eat a full meal!
YOU - โAh, sorry Madoka. I wasโฆ overwhelmed with choice, and myโฆ brain spit out the first thing it thought. I am not planning on killing myself.โ
MADOKA - โUm, I think we should probably talk about this more, Homura-chanโฆ.โ
CALL AND RESPONSE - Ask her a question to change the topic. Itโs worked in three different loops, it should work here.
RATIONALITY COMPLEX [Trival: Success] - Ask her if she wants to try anything else and then order that for yourself. This will accomplish your goal of deciding on what to order, as well as showing Madoka that her desires are important to you.
YOU - โIs there anything else youโd like to try, Madoka? We can share our dishes.โ
MADOKA - โUh, okay Homura-chan. Maybe get some tempura?โ
- Order 10000 yen worth of tempura
- Order 1000 yen worth of tempura
- Order 100 yen worth of tempura
YOU - โExcuse me waiter, give me 10000 yen worth of tempura.โ
HUMAN SHELL - Calories and magic are just two different types of fuel. Feed me and control me.
THE ANGEL - T-thatโs probably too much, Homura-chan. Maybe you can sneak some into your cool shield, though!
MADOKA - Madoka doesnโt say anything, but her eyes do bulge out slightly. She gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder and smiles at you.
HEALED MORALE +1
RATIONALITY COMPLEX - Displays of wealth like this can broadcast value to potential mates. This will increase your value in Madokaโs eyes, furthering along one of your goals.
THE ANGEL - I think you should just focus on enjoying the food, Homura-chan. Take a break, everything is okay.
- Thank you.
- Why donโt you hate me?
YOU - Why donโt you hate me?
THE ANGEL - Because I care about you, Homura-chan! And besides, you hate yourself far too much already.
- Thank you.
THE ANGEL - Youโre welcome! Now, please, enjoy your meal with real Madoka. She loves you a lot too, you know.
really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever
This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad
I JUST SAW A DOG CARRYINH A FULL BOTTLE OF DR PEPPER IN HET MOUTH???
cannot overstate the significance of this. she was just standing there..
i missed animating ponies
Holy Fuck
my d.b. cooper theory is that the rapture happened while he was falling and he was the only christian worthy of heaven
One weird experience of transitioning is failing at ur assigned gender role the whole time and everyone constantly deriding you for it but then u come out and it's like we lost a beautiful gender conforming warrior today. Must grieve for my wonderful child who pissed me off by being ugly and weird since day 1
Years ago, you blocked me because I made a silly joke that you did not care for. Ever since I've felt a glib sense of pride every time I saw your blog be taken down and anger each time I saw your blog back up.
I'm just realizing that... That mindset is incredibly pointless. I don't like you. But I don't even know you. You're a stranger I'll never meet, yet you've occupied so much of my thoughts. That's incredibly sad.
So, I guess I'll just block you. I'll block you, and I'll move on with my life. I'll move beyond you. I'll live the entirety of my finite human life with you not occupying even an iota of my thoughts, and I hope you'll do the same for anyone that gives you grief or trouble.
I am finding peace in this. In a way, I should thank you, but mostly I should apologize. I'm sorry I made you the unwilling catalyst for my own growth as a person. I'm sorry for all the ill will I've held on against you. You're just another person having to live in this fucked up world. You're not a cartoon villain whose dartardly plans I have to foil by reporting. That's so incredibly pointless and destructive. I am genuinely, truly sorry.
I sincerely wish you the best. Goodbye.
hey anon i wish you the best in your journey to no longer being the person that you apparently are. can you send me one more anon so i can block you too? if you need inspiration feel free to just answer the question "did you just admit you've been spam reporting me in bad faith for years?"
for onlookers, i feel the need to emphasize that if this started "years ago" that's.... when i joined tumblr. like. do not get it twisted. this didn't happen because i'm a "big blog" or whatever, because this apparently predates that. this is, in fact, just how some people get about trans women they don't like. can you understand that?