aww hes so cute whats his name? *touches your babys foreheead and curses him*

Trump announced that he would put a 32% tariff on all goods from Gensokyo

if she's your girl then why's she chopping carrots into my bath 😏

my wife was cooking earlier and i walked into the kitchen topless to get a drink and ask her something and she was just 100% staring directly at my tits the entire time and i have never felt more powerful

Buying a Switch 2 and the camera accessory to strip and touch myself for my friends while they play Mario Kart

wanna be called puppy in mundane situations, “thank you puppy” when i do you a favor, “pretty puppy” when i show off my outfit, “c’mere puppy” when asking to cuddle

THIS. ONE. RIGHT. HERE!

Please don’t treat it like a big deal always. Casualness adds to it so much.

T H I S ! !

It's 2024 and i meet a guy who is kind and smart and passionate about his interests and i invite him over to hang out and when he goes into my room he sees my merch and art of all of the long haired men i fetishize and after he goes home i start texting him pics of selfies that he's never posted to any public social media profiles with various long beautiful hairstyles photoshopped over his real hair

So I can't play my game?

I love when household beasts are like whoa. You were gonna piss all on your own? No backup or companionship or anything? Babe. I got you. I'm right here. You don't have to be alone during this difficult time (pissing), and you won't be. Ever. This is not a discussion.

i love you. im pregnant and its toys

what the fuck does that mean. stop. dont fucking say that

ok. gettibg an abortion and its you

Please do not feed the squirrels

This is what happens to the economy without wokeness. Until my pronouns are respected, I will destroy another 3% of the American GDP. #darkwoke

Trans elf girl who gets bullied by all the cis elf girls because her penis is smaller than theirs. She pretends to hate it so that they keep doing it

She thinks she’s clever, but the cis elf girls can clearly see that their teasing turns her on. Of course, seeing her penis be significantly smaller even when erect makes them want to tease her even more

hey OP what is the circumstance that these bullies are constantly seeing her penis in the first place?? how do they even know it's smaller?

^she doesn’t know about the elf girl bathing spring 🤣

"and I get to what, fuck the dog?" Going right into the lexicon as a phrase I cannot use ever in front of people

its crazy how hyraxes can only awawa and scream

hey hold on squiggy the hyrax shut up for a second. has antonin scalia always been in this image