Clue In, Donut

Transcription:

Tiktok 1: What's the weirdest thing about you body that you haven't gotten fixed yet?

Tiktok 2: (unintelligible) I started having issues hearing out of my right ear so i go to the doctor like any normal person would, and the guy looks in my ear with that little flashlight nozzle thing and he goes, "hm." And I go, "what?" And he says, "You don't have an ear canal."

Well I DID! Haven't missed any payments, who took it?!

He sends me to the very convenient ear specialist around the corner who then looks in my ear and goes, "JESUS!"

That is not the first thing I want my doctor to say to me! You think you know where this is going and you think it's gonna be a bug- WRONG.

This man informs me that there is a small tooth-sized bone growing across my ear. So I'm sitting there trying to process this like, "So should I go to the dentist?" And he goes "Oh, no it's only covering about 60% of your ear canal so as long as it doesn't start growing more then you don't need immediate surgery." So now I can't go underwater or else it gets trapped behind my ear-tooth!

Also, to the person on twitter who said I wasn't getting enough action so my body had to start 'boning' itself?

That was mean.

An old comic I made in art school (14 years ago) about a papa and baby bear, as well as a neolithic human sacrifice

I'm calling it "Everybear knows"

MSNBC covered this story yesterday. Unfuckingbelievable

Don't buy your advisors on Amazon

they should make weight loss ads illegal and I’m not kidding

Honestly I should talk about the ace experience more. I don’t see enough. Like–obviously it’s dehumanizing to be repeatedly compared to robots or aliens but uh…sometimes it feels like that?? 

My husband will get all horny while I’m, I don’t know, changing out of sweaty gardening clothes. And I’ll be like, “But we have to make lunch?? I stink? Now is not a good time?? Logic?” And clearly it’s not about logic to him. He is experiencing the entire scenario very differently. And I’m here like, 

Or the times where you realize that like, having an actual physiological reaction to attractive people is not some enculturated metaphor, and people are actually doing that all around you all the time, and you’re like, Ah, clearly my studies of human culture have been incomplete. I have missed a critical psychosocial component. Many things now appear in a different light. *takes notes on holopad*

The notes on this post are just a shitload of aces going…I don’t get it. Or sometimes for a bit under very special circumstances I get it, or almost get it, and then I’m like “Wow this is a huge energy drain; you guys live like this?” Or just, “Totally baffling truly an alien species why would you lick someone?” And I am feeling the kinship in this here post.

a friend of mine once said “Wow! You must get so much done!”

to which i replied “No, no, I still have depression.”

I made this post two years ago and this is maybe the funniest addition in all that time.

Realising I was asexual also made me realise I still had some internalised misogyny I wasn't aware of. Long before I saw someone talking about their experience of asexuality as not being attracted to bodies but still being sex positive, I genuinely thought that I didn't have a reaction to attractive people because women just didn't feel that. Over time I realised that no, that wasn't universal, and then I went down the route of "maybe I'm demisexual and I just have never liked anyone enough" and the "well, I feel equal attraction to male presenting bodies as I do to female, so I guess I'm bisexual" route. Glad I saw that random comment on a facebook post because things were confusing for a while there

I'm not allowed to play paladin with one of my playgroups anymore, because the last time I did, one of the rogues in my party decided kill a townsperson in front of me "just to see what would happen," and the moment she did I used a smite evil and killed her instantly. Everyone else (except the DM) thought it was a dick move that I basically forced her to roll an entirely new character after one night.

That's the only proper way to play a paladin.

You pick a fight, you get the smite.

"it's what my character would do" says the rogue.

"samesys!" Says the paladin, cheerfully rolling a nat 20 smite to destroy the rogue.

their identical expressions killed me

"The most scary part of TMA is the blanket episode- The most scary part of TMA is Jane Prentiss - The most scary part of TMA is the Not! Them creatures -"

Wrong! The most scary part of TMA when you're watching for the first time and realize far too deep in that you really should be have been trying to remember peoples names.

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

they should make weight loss ads illegal and I’m not kidding

Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

Hi guys. This post ain't about stereotyping random professions (farriers????), it's about how cops are effectively legally untouchable and if they hurt you, you have virtually no recourse. A quality that none of those other professions have. It's the inherent power imbalance of being bound to someone who can't be prosecuted.

The "firemen cheat" thing is actually a myth, union workers are both hot and professionally stable, paramedics are stressed out but otherwise fine, physical workers are not inferior to "thinkers" don't be fuckin classist, and "watch out for Farriers" is maybe the funniest thing anyone's ever said on this post.

like the fuck are they gonna do lmao

Having beef with the horse cobbler is objectively hilarious