how to grow the fuck up

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Imma need this eventually cause they don’t teach you jack squat in school

Ima schedule to reblog this when I’m 16.

Ima need this eventually

same fam.

Pfffft i’m 32 and I still need some of this advice

Ah yes i need this

I’ll need this eventually wisbaozn

i want to masturbate but i cant afford the name brand stuff so im always jakeing off and busting a rut and shit

such base indulgences are beneath me

now if youll excuse me. back to meating off.

just gonna start killing people i dont find funny

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

shut the fuck up

People will talk about Tumblr's amazing hatemail game but its person to person reply game is equally unhinged.

this grave keeper edible aint shit

who gors there ,

image description: a photo of a person's arm holding out a lantern with a candle in it. end ID

How To Find A Sea Unicorn (reupload)

Unmute !

That’s the most “meow” meow I’ve ever heard

SHE’S SO MAD THAT WATER IS WET

slut era

Me this past Friday and weekend

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

It was stupid good. So good in fact that the bbc filmed a version and put it on dvd when it debuted. I bought that dvd after I saw the show and put it up on the Internet Archive. The audio is not great but the dancing is spectacular. Ever see a pas de deux around an anatomical dissection? You will.

I love stories like this.

#looked up the story and it turns out the bomb was hauled away to be detonated elsewhere #i was worried the bomb had gone off in their yard and destroyed their home or worse but no worries #they are okay but they miss their funny lil lawn ornament

Oh THANK GOODNESS

It had been outside the home of Sian and Jeffrey Edwards in Milford Haven, Pembrokeshire, and is thought to date from the late 19th Century.

The couple had thought it was a "dummy" with no charge.

The Ministry of Defence said it removed a 64lb (29kg) "naval projectile".

Mrs Edwards said she used to bang it with her trowel to remove earth after gardening.

But on Wednesday evening, a police officer knocked on the door to tell the couple he had spotted it and would need to alert the Ministry of Defence.

An hour later, he told the shocked couple the bomb squad would arrive the next day.

It was a sleepless night for Mr and Mrs Edwards, who had been told the whole street might need to be evacuated.

"We didn't sleep a wink all night. It knocked us for six," said Mr Edwards.

"I told the bomb disposal unit 'we're not leaving the house, we're staying here. If it goes up, we're going to go up with it'."

Tests proved it was live, but with only a tiny amount of charge. It was taken to a disused quarry in Walwyn's Castle, covered with five tonnes of sand and detonated.

'It was an old friend'

After living in the street since he was three years old, 77-year-old Mr Edwards was sad to see it go.

"It was an old friend. I'm so sorry that the poor old thing was blown to pieces."

Mr Edwards said he had been told its history by the Morris family, whose relative used to own the house. They said he had found it more than 100 years ago.

"Warships for the Royal Navy used to drop anchor in St Brides Bay and point their guns towards Broad Haven and open fire," he claimed.

"They used to use the sands for target practice. They'd make sure there was no one on the sands, mind!

"Well Pop Morris, who went around delivering lemonade, was going down to Broad Haven with his horse and cart and found the shell.

"He struggled back up the beach with it, put it on the back of his cart and had a very bouncy seven-mile ride back home.

"He plonked it upright in the front courtyard and that's where it remained."

It was later sunk into concrete and painted red to match the window ledges when Mr and Mrs Edwards bought the house in 1982.

"It stood there during two world wars," said Mr Edwards.

___________

God bless the Welsh

i got fucking humbled today

i am in fact not tall enough to reach out the slidey window at my new job, someone grabbed me a stool

i love cooking so much and i hate doing the dishes with all of my heart

????????