there is an almost automatic transmisogynist reflex a lot of cis women have (particularly those whose main interaction with trans community as a whole is that one of their friends/family/partners came out as a trans man at some point) to attempt to be "trans inclusive" in ways that are fundamentally just excluding trans women.
like someone will be talking about "women's healthcare" and they will say "you mean AFAB healthcare!"
in their head, the math is "(cis women) + (the trans guy I know) = (common denominator is we were AFAB)" because they never once considered trans women as women in the original statement. the implicit transmisogyny just becomes vocally explicit in their attempts to clumsily "include" trans men.
and when a trans woman points out that the cis woman is being transphobic, the cis woman gets extremely flustered and defensive, because in her mind, she was going out of her way to include "trans people" (see: the one trans guy she knows) and that still isn't good enough for you people. now the cis woman is feeling vividly resentful of trans women (because the trans woman trying to gently correct her becomes symbolic of trans women as a whole) and much more likely to double-down on whatever implicit transmisogynist beliefs she already harbored.
like I just see this unfold so often.
it's extremely demoralizing that often the one trans guy the cis woman knows also does not give a shit about trans women and allows the cis women he's in community with to constantly reframe "trans inclusion" as "excluding trans women" simply because it's easy and benefits him.
it's especially disappointing to see this because it's not even that hard to challenge this sort of thing.
like I'm not a trans man, but I am a trans person, and I was assigned "female" at birth, and in my experience, when people do this, it literally is as simple as saying "no, this (e.g. medical misogyny) isn't about assignment, in fact trans women actually face much more acute forms of this kind of (e.g. medical gatekeeping, discrimination, and medical abuse) than cis women or tme trans people" and then we can talk about the mechanisms of sexgender hierarchy enforcement & how/why it impacts different demographics in these ways.
if you're TME and you're the sole person that a cis person is relying on for a "trans perspective" then, while that responsibility shouldn't be placed on you (it would be great if cis people learned about stuff independently instead of outsourcing their opinions to a singular trans person they know), it is placed on you.
and what you do with that responsibility does actually impact how this cis person will interact with trans women (individually and collectively) going forward.
like that is a level of influence that you have. you are making a difference here, whether you want that power or not.
