Crystal Glue Persuasion

If shit goes south here, you can always find me on Bluesky!

So this is my one and only Bluesky account. Follow me just in case this place goes kaput for realsies this time

"this meeting could've been an email" but instead it's "this ship war could've been a threesome"

love this !! unfortunately for me tho i took the mulder route and became insane and deranged

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

"But cheese does not abandon me, neither in summer nor in autumn, nor at the end of winter:"

--Theocritus Idyll XI.36-7

the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

CAN WE MAYCHANCE NOT 😭

Perbe you should have thought about the consequences before posting a linguistic banger

Straight guys who use tumblr are the funniest people ever literally how did you end up here

Dei hire

Dentist confessional. Like, forgive me doctor for I have sinned. I have partaken of the wine. Not only that, but the coffee and the tea. I consume carbonated beverages regularly. I eat sweets such as saltwater taffy and caramels. On the weekend, if I sleep in, I only brush my teeth at night. And then the dentist is like, "and are you flossing, my child?" and they just have to look away

One time the dentist asked me if I was flossing and I said "ehhhh, like once a month" and he got HILARIOUSLY mad and he was like "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIE!!!!!!!!!!!" and the hygienist and I absolutely fucking lost it while he sighed and stalked out of the room.

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

My headache disappeared 3 minutes before I even saw this post, so I'm glad to know it exists outside the rules of linear time

My five year plan is to just see what happens

it renews every five years

Why do all the beautiful, colorful vintage bathrooms end up in the wrong hands. Come here. I would treasure you

More arches please

Imagine seeing this and wanting to rip it out and replace it with gray luxury vinyl plank

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

i wisely turned off the notes on this when it was at 700 but oh my god stop telling me what you "just" use it for in the notes shut the fuck up shut the fuck up I AM NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST, I DO NOT ABSOLVE YOU. WRITE YOUR OWN EMAILS.

and then they cat napped together 🙂‍↕️

print(1) | print(2) ‪‪❤︎‬

it took me a second to understand why the brown cat gazes tenderly into the white cat's eyes and whispers:

"Do not reupload anywhere."

🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

SCROLL BACK UP THIS IS A PAINTING

How are my sweetie pees

I Said How The Fuck Are My Fucking Sweetie Pees