summary : she hopes this secret doesn’t change their love for her
warnings : religious guilt, internalized homophobia/biphobia, fear of abandonment, implied abuse
sora always knew she was a bit…different. if it wasn’t her random alien noises throughout elementary school, it was the way she felt about the smart girls in her class when they started a conversation with her.
but no, she couldn’t. even if she didn’t believe in a specific god, she still felt it was wrong. the church, as bad as it made her feel, seemed only right about one thing—one thing and only one thing.
a man should love his woman, and a woman should love her man. a woman should remain a woman, and a man should remain a man. this is what nature and humans do, so there should be no argument against it.
but even as a little girl, sora knew it was nonsense. so why does she still feel like a sinner if those bigoted feeling went away? what’s wrong with people wanting to like the same gender? why did the thought of being against love and expression make her stomach churn?
when she became a trainee, far away from the hands of her violent parents, she searched —filled her wounds with song lyrics and the ink of glitter gel pens to make her blood beautiful.
it took a lot of hard work to get her to where she is now—her own little family, the ability to sleep in a room without having to push a dresser in front of its door. no more yelling, no more beating, just— silence.
it was a cold feeling finally coming to terms with being bisexual, the older people by the local fruit market had always told her that bisexuality was one of the worst sins imaginable. that they were greedy, and promiscuous, and confused, and full of diseases.
now here she is, sitting in a circle with the same people she was planning to start a career with. they looked at her with such adoration, how would they start seeing her after finding out? will this postpone their show? she knows some of her members are religious, will she be called a sinner?
so she said it. she said she was bisexual, and, surprisingly, the world didn’t end. there weren’t any lashings or a bible being thrown at her, nor did they think she had some kind of disease. the only things she encountered were were hugs and tears — happy tears.
sora got comfy that night, her body stuffed in between lee know and changbin. looking at their faces as they dozed off into sleep, she felt a bit silly for thinking they wouldn’t love her anymore.
her little family would gladly buy every star in the sky if she asked for it, and she would do the same.
a/n : i was gonna for SO long im sorry!!! i lost interest in writing/creativity as a whole. but i got my spark back! happy valentine’s day, love you!!!