Irl Evil Sadistic Space Elf

There's a cop just walking around the store, are they allowed to do that? I think they shouldn't be allowed indoors with people who could get hurt. It's fine if they want to be cops in private, but children shouldn't be exposed to their lifestyle choices.

Hello tumblr artist. In front of you is a canonically aroace, romance and sex-repulsed character. Your goal is to not draw any sort of ship art or talk about shipping the character whether in a queerplatonic way or not while still talking and drawing about the characters' relationships with others. You must not place friendship as "below" romace or a queerplatonic relationship, or view romance or queerplatonic relationships as "above" purely platonic ones. If you fail, the bomb I have placed inside your head will go off and you will die. You have one hour.

i dont hate shipping i just think a lot of you people maybe like shipping too much

its ok. you can engage in a fandom without shipping. its ok. there are other things you can do. not everything needs to be about romance and characters being cute and kissing

“you can engage in a fandom without shipping 🤓 🤓🤓” ok and?? I don’t want to. I’m perfectly happy with everything being about romance and characters being cute and kissing

i was being too lenient before i have now decided no one is allowed to ship anything. in fact nobody is allowed to like eachother romance is banned in my beautiful world #hatred #ihatelove #mybeautifulworld #imalwaysright 😇

also i know i Just said that but we have to end the skinny monopoly on torture fantasies i'm calling myself on this. we need #bodypositive unrepentant gratuitous gore now more than ever

joining the war on “pretentiousness” on the side of the pretentious

reblog this to be an annoying faggot at ur followers

the words "boy" and "toy" rhyming is such a rare linguistic triumph for english. they did this for me

(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) teehee

butch whose tummy hangs over the waistband of their boxers…… I live for u

"Wah nobody wants to dom anymore" Have you tried treating doms like people who you respect instead of pleasure dispensers?

“Wah nobody wants to dom anymore” have you tried actually engaging and being an active participant with your dom instead of replying with exclusively keysmashes and expecting them to do all the work?

“Wah nobody wants to dom anymore” have you created an environment where your dom feels safe expressing desire, especially when that desire is sadistic? have you established a system of communication that protects BOTH of you?

the obsession with twink death is so sad and weird I can't stand it. oh nooo he got fat and hairy... as if those aren't two of the hottest things you can be. get real!!!

if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure

Morty and His New Toy

The Grandfather™️ Tangram is an educational toy suitable for children aged 0-7, made from fresh Necare‘s soul.

Just look how happy our little Morty is playing with it!

Inspired by my favorite official story, Grandfather’s Gift.