the fanciest corpse in this entire establishment

these days you just can't enlist in service of his majesty the king with nothing to your name and still get a fine red coat with bastions and buff facings and a musket you barely know how to use that requires you to look to the bright-eyed young private you met on your first day who shows you how to pick a good flint and brush out the pan and wheel elbow-to-elbow with you on the field and who offers you his pipe the evening before you march out to battle if only you'd sing him a song and that night when the other four men in your tent are asleep he tugs on your sleeve and asks you to hold him because deep down he knows tomorrow when you're three ranks deep and he's pressed up against you to aim his musket over your shoulder it will be the last time he will ever get to touch you

also we did my main birthday celebrations yesterday and I looked cute >:3

May I present to you Wheel Running In the Wild, a published research paper that delights me to no end:

This paper intended to test whether would mice would run on a wheel if they found one, to try and determine if this was a natural behavior or a stress response in captivity. They put a wheel in a protected little box with a camera that took pictures any time the wheel turned, and tallied up how often it was used by what.

Mice were, happily, the most common users of the wheel, and their patterns of use indicated they were doing so voluntarily once they figured it out.

But the second most common users.

Those were slugs.

treating "historians" not only as this unified group but also as a coherent socio-political entity w unified ideas, ideals, goals and methods is actually the reddest possible flag. thats a tell-tale sign that this person doesnt know what the fuck theyre talking about. capital h Historians arent lying to u. capital h Historians arent hiding stuff from u, they dont want u to believe anything, bc Historians isnt an organization or a political affiliation. u know the old saying, 2 jews, 3 opinions? historians r like that too

"Historians dont want u to know *historical figure* was gay!1!!" n its in the 'personal life' section of said figure's wikipedia page

scream. n when u graduate Evil Archeologist Grad School, They send u to rob graves in greece n the global south for the british museum

im also not saying that there arent historians who twist, hide or straight up lie abt history to suit their agenda. but thats exactly what it is - THEIR agenda. u should always b critical abt the history ppl present to u, just like u should b critical abt everything anyone wants u to believe. who wants me to believe this, what r their arguments n what will they benefit from ppl believing this r all important questions u should definitely apply to historians' work. but again. there isnt a unified Historian agenda, bc historians arent a coherent, unified, socio-political group w a common political goal

the dynamic between two people who love a third person so much and come to understand each other because of that is so important to me. you would put them first, and so would i. you understand why we have to save them from themself. i trust you with their life, and so, that means more than if i trusted you with mine. the love doesn't have to be the same, but it's powerful enough that you understand why you're not the only satellite drawn into their orbit.

sometimes i wonder what it's like to he mentally stable. anyway *resets the universe* this time it's gonna work out for sure

no that little tidbit of information is not an "easter egg" i fear. you are doing what we call "media analysis" ❤ it was on purpose i promise ❤ you were Supposed to notice that! and you did! good job ❤

huh weird.

this is so fire

love when u get an audio message n ur reading the transcript n like halfway thru there is just a bunch of road rage expletives before they get back to the point :3

literally my favorite thing

Cory Booker has been talking in the senate for over 20 hours now

He’s not filibustering. He’s protesting the current administration.

For those of you from outside the US or those of you who didn’t pay attention in government class, in the US senate there’s really no limit to the amount of time a senator can speak. So sometimes if they don’t want a bill to pass they just. Don’t stop talking. To hopefully get past the deadline to vote on a bill. This is called filibustering.

Senator Cory Booker isn’t doing that. He’s disrupting “the normal business of the United States Senate for as long as I am physically able”. Just in protest. This doesn’t usually happen.

He’s less than 20 minutes away from breaking the record of the longest speech given on the senate floor

Cory Booker has officially broken Strom Thurmond’s record for longest speech on the senate floor and he’s still going

For those of you wondering what he’s been talking about this whole time, his staff wrote down a bunch of stuff for him to read like stories from people across the political spectrum opposed to what the administration is doing. He’s also been telling personal anecdotes about meeting important civil rights leaders and other democratic senators have been pausing him for “questions” but the questions have been as long as a small speech and have both served the purpose of giving him a second to sit down and updating him on the news that he’s been missing while he’s been talking.

He has yielded the floor at 25 hrs and 4 mins. His eyes are so wide they look like they’re going to bug out of his skull so I don’t blame him for stopping. He said to go out and get in some good trouble.

Addition for those unaware: Cory Booker is black. Strom Thurmond set the previous record about 70 years ago in protest of civil rights. Booker spent much of the time I was watching talking about the importance of working together for the people and the idea that it's not "left versus right but right versus wrong."

The new record speech is on the right side of history.

Minor correction: the questions from other Democrats did not allow him to sit down as he must remain standing and at his desk in order to retain the floor. Additionally, I believe the final time was 25 hours and 7 minutes.

Self correction: final time 25 hours 5 minutes.

go my blue eyed freak

reminder that if you ever meet a sweet, morally good, chivalrous knight: it's your most sincere obligation to corrupt them. "but my vows," this, "this is against the rules," that. if you haven't completely fucked up their entire code of conduct and destroyed all ability to discern right from wrong without you being the one to tell them by the time you're done with them, then you need to up your game. inside that pretty, rule-following chained dog of a knight is someone yearning to be set free of their self-imposed shackles, and it's your duty to help them get there.

Why else would they allow themselves to be shackled, unless they believed they needed to be controlled, that something inside them was already rotten and dangerous? All you have to do is convince them to hand over the end of their lead.

my father tried to get me this april fools day. welcome back roald amundsen

a simple, idiot wizard