Straight guys who use tumblr are the funniest people ever literally how did you end up here

Dei hire

i'm so sick of poems about graves and paris and bones and orpheus and gods and rebirth and "girlhood" and orange peels and holiness and pomegranates and motherly pain and rot and cannibalism and teeth and how grief is really love. the horse is so incredibly dead. isn't there something else for you to say. don't you want to tell a new story

I’m so sick of poems about graves

And Paris and bones and Orpheus and gods

And rebirth and “girlhood” and orange peels

And holiness and pomegranates and

Motherly pain and rot and cannibalism and teeth

And how grief is really

Love.

The horse is so incredibly dead.

Isn’t there something else for you to say?

Don’t you want to tell a new story?

No- at least I don’t.

You tell a new one if you want

I’ll be here with the bones of Homer and Sappho

Building with them like Lincoln Logs

Making something new out of old

Making something my own.

“Again” doesn’t have to be a bad word.

So yes; I will play my scales again.

I will rhyme red roses and blue violets again.

You can look for your new elsewhere, friend.

I’m not sick of poems about graves.

HEY, FELLOW HATERS OF INSANELY-BRIGHT CAR HEADLIGHTS, SOMEONE HAS STARTED A PETITION TO REGULATE THEM.

It's an official petition through the Australian Government's e-petition page, which means if it gets enough signatures, it will be tabled in government.

You do have to be an Australian citizen to sign it, BUT!!! PLEASE REBLOG THIS EVEN IF YOURE NOT, because these kind of things have a roll-on effect, and if Australia legislates LED headlights, then other countries may follow.

FYI, the petition asks only for your name and email, and once you've clicked the sign button, they'll send you an email to confirm your signature --- you need to click the confirmation link in the email to have your signature counted.

Please do this so we can copy you, Australia, I hate those things so much

oh dear. pour one out for @staff today folks

(for those of you who have been living under a rock since late 2019, automattic owns tumblr)

i caved and made one of these. i will not pretend that half of these are good cause they are not. for reference i have scored less than 10 on every one of these quizzes ive taken. i have an abysmal taste in movies. if youve seen all of these im worried about you.

please let me know your opinions please tear me apart i want to hear it

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

I know what you're saying, but I think you have to give some people credit. There's plenty of people outside the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website that enjoy things like delayed gratification and elaborate gags. When I was a kid, I loved watching the Muppet Movie because so many gags lasted all the way through. There were some obvious and hilarious visual gags, but my favorite was we've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it. Inside, we both know what's been going on. We know the game and we're gonna play it. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, gotta make you understand. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

I think this is interesting that this sort of phenomenon is being described as being a Rick Roll, when I think the element of sound and video are actually essential to the experience. So in reality this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute. Just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin, ' relaxin' all cool. And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"

and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like "are you this fucking stupid"

There is some stupid that cannot be ignored, okay?

The good news: you get to pick your new soulmate! (You can define "soulmate" however you want: platonic/romantic/partners in crime/etc. But they will be in your life, constantly.)

The bad news: you don't get to pick where they come from.

Spin this wheel until you get a fandom with characters that you recognize. As soon as you do, stop. One of those people* is going to be a constant presence in your life, whether you like it or not. So choose wisely.

*broadly defined

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

lot of people are going to be sent careening three posts down their dash and crashing into a brick wall because of this post

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

I just queued this for a year

Alright let’s get this over with

Happy March 32nd, everyone!

you can only reblog this once a year

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen