Halite

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

started this one this afternoon! it’s been hours of carving

kinda funny that there's no tariffs on the vatican but at least 10% on all other microstates in EU

italy about to invent levels of catholic corruption never seen since the 17th century

I'll probably be buying a switch 2 just cause it's my job to play games on stream, but I always feel weird about buying these overpriced games that my audience wouldn't be able to afford.

Maybe I'll focus more on older and indie games

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that angle, I suppose.

I will accept this task. I will play the games so you don't have to.

Also, fine.

https://ko-fi.com/demilypyro

https://twitch.tv/demilypyro

Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.

The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.

The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.

The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like “oh I don’t know what happened it just overtaxed for some reason” so I looked inside the hose and—get this—it was jammed with rocks.

He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like “what if you didn’t vacuum up rocks” he’s like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.

hey guys guess what happened again just now

at the doctor being shown a chart with different types of man-made horrors on them while the doctor asks whether each of them is beyond or within my comprehension

does the doc flip the options like lenses at the optometrists? “beyond or within? *flips* now these, beyond *flips* or within?

here’s a picture of a baby cedar waxwing begging for food from a robin. neither of these species are nest parasites, so it’s not possible the cedar waxwing was ‘adopted’. this is essentially the bird version of tapping a random person on the shoulder at the grocery store and going “MOM”

x

I love that the robin’s body language is basically WHAT THE FUCK WHOSE KID IS THIS

Robin is bathing which make’s it even funnier. More like the equivalent of a strange kid barging in while you’re taking a shower and demanding you make them mac n cheese right now

was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast

Do you knit or crochet? I think you would fit in well.

can make little animals out of it, etc

i think alberta is lying to itself about there being no rats there

you might think the princess and maid thing is just a schtick but while making tea I did just manage to catch the teabags on fire

Incorrect responses:

Correct Responses:

jurassic park but it's tiny elephants and nothing goes wrong 🥺

same score but played entirely on kazoos

Big day for trans people tomorrow

Lily Wachowski was at today's Rally for Trans Visibility in Chicago. Not as a speaker, just in the crowd. I see her at most of the trans/queer protests I attend.

socks are the primary producers of the laundry biome. they typically mate for life and come in a wide variety of patterns, though—unlike shoes, which many theorize to be a symbiotic species—they lack sexual dimorphism. juvenile socks resemble their parents, but have yet to develop the long necks that distinguish socks from other species of the extremity family, such as mittens

the lint trap is a fascinating example of a decomposer. it relies on the environment to bring food in the form of detritus, which it then breaks down into lint. lint traps have relatively long lives in comparison with other species (especially given the recent downward trends in lifespan, which are likely caused by a combination of genetic bottlenecks and poor nutrition). the lint trap has an unusual relationship with fire—some theorize that it uses fire as a tool to increase resource availability, while others believe that its frequent proximity to fire is due to environmental factors

the apex predator of the laundry biome is, of course, the dreaded duvet cover. duvet covers lead solitary lives, and are rarely seen socializing with one another. its preferred prey is socks, although it is an opportunistic eater and will prey upon much larger targets, such as t-shirts, leggings, and even sheets. aside from its large territory and antisocial nature, its behaviors are poorly known and highly controversial. one major theory is that the duvet cover is an ambush predator, lying in wait for its prey. another is that the duvet cover seeks out prey, using its superior size and large mouth to overwhelm its victims in a matter of seconds. a third, less popular supposition is that the duvet cover lures its victims to it by mimicking the laundry bag, a preferred shelter for many residents of the laundry biome. more research on this topic is necessary

in one sock, two sock?: wild socks and their mating habits, their precipitate response to my most recent publication, my esteemed colleague @scar-can-relate has noted that socks in captivity show a stronger proclivity to monogamy. however, it is worth noting that mating tendencies in socks are a highly socialized behavior.

while some groups of socks (colloquially referred to as a "drawer"¹) engage in highly polyamorous behavior, which varies from closed multi-mate groups to a total lack of exclusivity in which juvenile socks are raised collectively without any family dynamics, this behavior is far from universal. however, in many drawers (one might even say most), socks choose a single mate while still adolescents and remain loyal throughout their lives.² socks who reside in single-mate drawers have even been known to leave their families and embark on long solo journeys upon loss of a mate, which could point to the same kind of ritual mourning behavior observed in elephants.