Eagles don't belong in cage (HL fic)
Summary: Orphaned since birth, Faustine escapes her dull everyday life with fantasy books. As she dreams of magic, her wish may be granted, for betterโฆ and for worse.
Warnings: child abuse, violence
MC is my character, Faustine Daemon. You can find more info about her here. This fic is her backstory and takes place before she joined Hogwarts
A BIG thanks to @alsopartgekkos who has been my beta reader (and moral support) from start to finish ๐ซถ
โI see at intervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close set bars of a cage : a vivid, restless, resolute captive is there ; were it but free, it would soar cloud-high.โ -Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
Faustine no longer believed in God.
Hands clasped, head bowed, body bent on a bench in silent prayer to a crucifix.
A quick glance while everyone is busy: same people, same poses, same eyes closed in reverence. Some murmuring prayers. Others are so bent double that knees touch faces.
She wasnโt the only one without faith, was she?ย
A question burned inside her mouth: Faustine tried to find the answer in someone else's face so many times. Tried to decipher every furrowed brow and wrinkle, every movement of the lips. Maybe itโs just her, really. Maybe she should not blame others for choosing otherwise. To get through life, some people clung to God.
Faustine, on the other hand, preferred imagination.
Her gaze shifted to the high ceiling and followed familiar gothic arches, descending into pillars. Her favorite stained glass windows depicting the flight of a white dove reflected the rays of the morning sun in a harmonising blend of blue, red and yellow. A splash of colour in the dull reality of an orphanage. But itโs only a moment before suffocation, when her eyes linger on Christ's pain-stricken face depicted on each mosaic.
No one has to know she lost faith now.
Or maybe it's already happened long ago. Maybe she lulled herself in promises of a wonder, but the years went by without a miracle. They say you always have to believe in Him. A question dances on the tip of her tongue like a sin.
Did He ever believe in her?
Her mind sought to wander beyond the walls, leaving the confines of the church for the little paths of the garden, the busy city. In her daydream, Faustine passed a shop window: her reflection dressed in one of these luxurious gowns, dazzled with beauty a little more with each step, so light that she seemed to fly, moved like a ballet dancer on an imaginary stage. She reached Big Ben, overlooking London in all its splendor and a pair of black wings materialized on her back, feathers twirling. Effortlessly, Faustine flew up to admire the city: passers-by not bigger than little ants, staring at her with amazement and admiration. She smiled, before soaring even higher into the sky, caressing the fluffy clouds, waving to the thousand-colored birds. Pure air entered her nostrils, allowing to breathe deeper. Her numb limbs waited to expand, again and again, until she reached the night sky. The moon was right in front of her, huge and softly shining white.The scene unfolding before Faustineย resembled a playย in which she was the lead actress, only the stars weren't made of cardboardย but actually stood before her eyes. They began to dance around her, leaving aย trail of light behind, reflectingย off her skin, which now seemed to contain a galaxy of its own. They twirled in chorus towards the full benevolentย moon. Faustine raised her hand in its direction, to-
"Can I, please, get through?"
A voice ripped Faustine back to her senses, back to Earth and the hustle of morning prayer. Her eyes darted to see other people rising in turn: the mass was over and she happened to be the one too engrossed in daydreaming to notice.
Girlโs face scrunched, gaze brushing Faustine in mixture of christian pity and disapproval.
Dreams werenโt allowed at St Maria-the-Bow.
As soon as they left the prayer room, the young residents followed one after the other, silent under the stern eyes of the nuns. Once they reached the main hall, the anthill was divided: each group of children going about their own tasks. Some headed for the kitchen to help prepare meals, while others went to the storeroom to arm themselves with brooms. For her part, Faustine climbed the stairs to the bedrooms, closely followed by a flock of girls slightly younger than herself. After passing through several dull corridors, they finally arrived at the baby room. A dozen cribs stood there, each containing a toddler to be cared for: some asleep, others screaming more or less loudly, awakened by the light streaming in from the just-opened door. The girls already rushedย into the room, past Faustine, who remained standing at the landing. Some gave her questioning looks, others frowned at her motionless stance, but no one remarked. She kept staringย at the babies, heart in her throat.
Although no memory of it remained, Faustine had onceย been in one of those cradles, years before. That some other girls, who came before, had to change her diapers, gave her a bottle. What had become of those girls? What would become of me?
"Miss Daemon, what are you waiting for?"
Faustine raised her eyes to glare at a nun towering behind her, hands clasped behind and small brown eyes squinted in judgment.
"Donโt think you can escape your duties by standing there in the hallway. If you don't want to do chores until midnight, hurry up and get to work."
Head bowed, Faustine entered the room. She approached the first crib and observed the chubby baby, who had just woken up. No sooner had their eyes met than he started screaming at the top of his voice.
It was going to be a long day.
The sun finally set, and the babies, changed and fed, fell asleep again in their cribs, and even if they didn't sleep, it was no longer Faustine's problem. The children dined in religious silence before going to their own rooms. After washing up, they all prayed to God and thanked him for the day - Faustine didn't really pray - before going back to their beds.
Faustine shared a bedroom with five other girls: white, musty , three bunk beds facing each other, wooden bindings threatening to give way at any moment. A single chest of drawers was enough to store the residents' meager belongings. The nuns claimed owning little was a sign of virtue, but in reality the orphanage was too poor to garnish the room with anything more. Still, a crucifix remained on the blank wall, as if it followed Faustine wherever she went.
One by one, the residents slipped under their comforters without a word. Faustine followed, lying down on the bottom bunk. A quarter of an hour later, a nun opened their door to check if they were asleep. Half an hour later, the children's breathing became more regular.
Faustine jumped out of bed as discreetly as possible. She crouched down and reached under the bed, grabbing a slightly raised wooden plank before pushing it off. Her hand groped around in the hiding place, until it touched the object she was interested in: out popped a thick book. Faustine dusted off her blanket, smiling broadly, before snuggling back under the sheets.ย
Since no candles were allowed, Faustine benefited from the moonlight streaming through the window onto her bed. The young girl set the book in front of the glass. As soon as she opened it, the inky black words seemed to dance. Faustine immediately lost herself in a world filled with wizards, dragons and magic. Although books were not forbidden at the orphanage, there were certainโฆrecommendations. Witchcraft was associated with the Devil, and had no place in a religious establishment. However, after reading the entire library available to the residents, from textbooks to children's stories, Faustine's overflowing imagination couldn't stop there. May God forgive her, for it was to these cursed stories that she preferred to take refuge in.
The next day was a repeat. Up, prayers, breakfast, lessons, lunch, until it was time for chores.
As Faustine headed for the stairs, Sister Kezia intercepted her.
"The director wants you to go to town on errands."
The orphan prevented the smile from forming on her face to not tempt the sister to change her plans. So Faustine simply nodded.
"Go into the kitchen, so Sister Judy can give you what you need," ordered the nun.
Faustine obeyed, forcing herself to walk at a measured pace, her legs itching to run. The cold corridors of the orphanage suddenly seemed more colorful than ever.
As she entered the kitchen, a group of girls stopped chatting, staring as one in her direction, and their piercing eyes unsettled the joy felt only moments before. They look like vultures. Faustineย tried to pass them with an indifferent expression, but when one of them whispered in her neighbor's ear, eyes glued to the newcomer, sheย gritted her teeth to avoid making a scene.ย
"Did you see the smug look on her face?"
"She keeps thinking she's better than us."
"Is she going to bother us again with her magic stories?"
"That crazy girl should be locked up in a hospital."
All those phrases she already before swirled in her mind, poisoning the mood.
Sister Judy was a tall, overweight woman. She stoodย over a large copper pot of steaming soup, the preparation of which Faustine suspected contained more water than any other ingredient. The sister grabbed a basket and threw it into Faustineโsย arms, handing a piece of paper with a bunch of words scrawled on it.
Just as Faustine was about to take it, the nun raised her arm sharply.
"Don't dawdle, you've got to get back before nightfall. No detours."
The woman then held out the piece of paper, followed by a small wad of crumpled bills. Faustine felt the burning gaze of the orphans behind her, as she took them to stow away in her pocket.
"Ask a sister to give you the keys to the gate. Chop-chop!"
Faustine left the kitchen without further ado. Arriving at the gate in a long cloak to ward off the winter chill, Faustine watched the gates rise into the sky. She called out to a busy nunย clearing snow to make a path from the gate to the front door.
"Mrs. Robertson asked me to go shopping. May I have the keys to the gate?"
The little woman judged her up and down before taking out the bunch of keys without a word and let it fall into Faustineโsย hands. However foolish it was to entrust an orphan with the exit from her prison, no one was going against the director. They needed extra hands to fetch the groceries, and Faustine was the oldest resident, so it made sense for her to go.
When she put the key in the lock and it made that satisfying little click, Faustine took a deep breath and stepped outside.
If London seems like a gray city to you, try looking at it through the eyes of an orphan who'd lived cooped up all her life.
Sure, her clothes were rags, she didn't have wings growing out of her back, and the sun shone brighter than the moon. But Big Ben still towered high in the sky.
Every detail became a source of comfort: footsteps crunching in the burnished snow, the smell of pastries coming out of the corner bakery, the constant hubbub of passers-by who could range from shouting to laughter. If no one was paying her any attention, all her senses were on the alert to rediscover every little insignificant detail of this city.
The route she took was always the same: the bakery, the grocery, the fishmonger, the butcher. Each brimmed with the little secrets she loved so much. The sound of crusty bread in her arms, the countless rows of cans and bottles of different sizes and colors, the fish with strange faces that seemed to come straight from the unknown depths of the sea, and the smell of red meat so enormous it seemed to come from a legendary animal. Faustine examined each of these stores with a particular interest, which displeased some. Vendors would give her indiscreet glances for fear that this louse might steal something from them. But she always ended up with enough to pay, offering them her few bills with a broad smile.
The sun was beginning to set as she exited the last store and her basket was overflowing with supplies. She readjusted her jacket to keep warm, as Londoners began to head home to warm up in front of their open fires. But her afternoon wasn't over yet, and the best part of the day was just beginning.
The snow was starting to fall as she pulled up in front of a picturesque building. The crooked edifice made of aged red bricks and a wooden storefront that seemed to struggle to hold it up. Flower boxes brightened up the windows, overcoming the cold by some miracle. An "open" sign, written in curvilinear script inviting the curious inside, hung on a door engraved with pretty symbols and a hand-shaped knocker. It was the most beautiful building Faustine had ever seen.
A bell announced her arrival and immediately the smell of books enveloped her. The warmth quickly dispelled the icy cold from outside, as if she'd come home to a roaring fire. The walls of the store were narrow, but the high ceiling allowed hundreds of books to pile up to the top. The owner, Mr.Callan, was busy at the till with a couple. Faustine greeted him with a nod, which he caught, and responded with a large smile.
Books were everywhere. On the floor, on the staircase leading to Mr.Callan's private apartments, on the shelves, on the cash register. She walked carefully to avoid tripping over a detective novel, and weaved her way between two stacks of books taller than her, all the while ogling the titles on the shelves. To find what she was looking for, Faustine didn't have to be afraid to rummage from cover to cover. Not that she minded.
She let her finger wander along the edges, bending her head to read titles. A color, a name, a particular design could be enough to catch her eye and make her pick one up. She chose a substantial book wedged between an insect encyclopedia and an Austrian dictionary. The title was "Around the World in Seventy-Two Days" and featured a woman with a suitcase in hand, looking confident and determined. Faustine opened the book and flipped through a few pages. Thus, she found herself plunged into the heart of Japan, heard the sound of a steam train arriving at the station, greeted a fish through the porthole of a submarine and smelled fresh croissants in a Parisian bakery. Closing the book with a firm hand, she could still hear the foreign laughter of French sitting around a table. She placed it back on top of a pile carefullyย before moving on.
Faustine barely moved away from a young reader slumped on the floor in a corner, so engrossed in his story that nothing seemed to disturb him. She tiptoed to the top of a shelf and grabbed a blue book with beautiful golden arabesques, only to open it without even reading the title. The sound of a seagull and the salty smell of the sea propelled her onto the pontoon of a pirate ship. She listened to the captain spouting orders to his crew and felt the frenzy of everyone going about their respective tasks. She would have stayed to see them dock with a royal ship, but once again, she closed the book and put it back in its place.
She began again and again. With each book Faustine found herself in a new universe. She could ride a horse through a haunted forest, fly alongside a Phoenix, swim among mermaids, lose herself in infinite space... Each book had its own smell, its own texture, its own story that took her on a journey. She loved to run her fingers over the paper as she passed each page. She could spend her days here, if no obligation held her back. Never had freedom seemed so close as in these words printed in black ink.
With a thud, she closed the last book in her hand. By staying here, she was losing all notion of time. She didn't want to be reprimanded - again -ย for getting home after dark. Faustine clutched the fantasy novel she'd just leafed through. It was a forest green cover with a majestic dragon on it, promising a tale to take her far away from her monotonous life. She gritted her teeth, fighting an internal battle between want and responsibility.
Finally, she reached into her pocket for the remaining change. She rotated the coins in the palm of her hand, undecided. Faustine didn't like stealing and that money didn't belong to her. She had been trusted to run errands, which she had to take back to the orphanage. The money left over would be used for future purchases, which would go to all the children's possessions. But another part of her whispered that the director didn't need to know she'd given too much money. She deserved to be paid for the dirty work she had to do, didnโt she? This book wasn't too much to pay for all that was asked of her. It would be her reward for being the daily errand girl. And, above all, it wasn't the first time she'd done it. It was her treasures hidden under her bed that kept her going another day.
She watched people walk past the bookshop window, busy with their own lives. Inevitably more hectic, more interesting than that of a poor invisible orphan. She watched the ladies bundle up in their long, warm coats, the men clinging to their gloves and top hats. They all exuded a standard of living she would never attain. A child lingered in the window, pointing at a storybook. His motherย looked at him tenderly, murmuring an answer that only they could hear, before kissing him on the head and leading him away. Faustine's eyes drooped, the hole in her heart making itself felt more than usual. But once mother and son were gone, they revealed a person sitting across the street. An old man, dressed in rags and sitting on a wooden crate, was warming himself as best he could by rubbing his hands against his arms. No one looked at him. Faustine's heart sank at the sight. She took another look at the book she was holding, before putting it down and leaving the store.
She looked left and right before crossing the street. When she reached him, the old man didn't notice her, too tired and cold for that. Faustine bent down to place a few coins in the bowl in front of him. Their clicking finally woke him up, to meet the newcomer's blue gaze.
"I hope this is enough to buy you a hot meal," she murmured.
The homeless man smiled at her from beneath his white beard, without a word. The girl returned his smile, before continuing on her way. She had given him the few pennies she couldโve bought a book for. But in a way, she didn't care. If it meant the old man could warm up with a stew or a soup, that was enough. And so much for the money she should have given back to the director. She bit her lower lip, feeling guilty for complaining about her life, while others suffered more than she did. She was lucky to have a roof over her head, a semblance of an education, and meals every day - albeit meager.
The return journey was less spirited: the colors gradually turned gray again, as Faustine dragged her feet to the gate, which she locked. A prisoner who has to immure herself in her cell. Ironic, right?
Once inside, the cold didn't seem to have left her. Faustine took the shopping basket to one of the kitchen tables. No one seemed to have noticed her, while the nuns and children ran about, the former barking orders, the latter shivering as they carried them out, a sign that dinnertime was approaching. At least she'd made it back just in time.
Emerging from the frenzy of the kitchen, Sister Kezia was waiting for her.ย
"Miss Robertson wants to speak to you in her office."
Faustine swallowed at the news. It was never a good sign when the director specifically wanted to see someone. She skirted the walls as she climbed the stairs with a step intended to be composed. She didn't want to attract any more attention by looking hurried and worried, but from the glances and murmurs of passing children, the news had already made rounds. Perhaps even before she got home. Faustine maintained a neutral, confident expression, but her throat was drying up and she couldn't do anything about it.
Arriving at the heavy wooden door, Faustine breathed for a moment to calm her racing heart, before knocking.
When the directorโs voice ordered her to enter, the teenager felt as if she'd arrived in hell.
The room was large, yet felt more oppressive. The crackling fire in the fireplace didn't help. The walls were drab, a sole bookshelf stood proudly against the left-hand wall, filled with perfectly organized books and photos of the orphanage and its residents over the years. Faustine knew she had to be present for the last fifteen. In the center of the room, Miss Robertson sat at her wooden desk, writing with a steady hand on a sheet of paper she seemed to take a malicious pleasure in torturing. In front of her stood two chairs that looked as comfortable as sea urchins, these were set to welcome visitors. Those who had come to collect a child, and those who had come to drop one off. Faustine wondered if her parents had sat there, with her as an infant in their arms, to ask the orphanage to accept her. The director had always told her that she'd been abandoned on the doorstep, but she could just as easily be lying. Just to make her suffer, preaching that Faustineโsย parents hadn't even bothered to put her down in a warm place, but in front of the gates at the mercy of anyone.
Faustine was relieved when the director didn't ask her to sit down. She'd probably be the Ice Queen if she'd come from one of her fantasy books, with white hair pulled back in a high bun and an unsympathetic look behind small glasses, so much everything about her exuded coldness.
"Do you know why I brought you here?"
A sign that she was allowed toย speak.ย
Faustine clasped her hands behind to hide their trembling and stood straight, her gaze fixed on an imaginary point so as not to meet the director's gaze. Despite disgust for this woman, she couldn't help wanting to please her - more out of fear than affection.
The director crossed her hands in front of her and finally decided to turn her attention to the newcomer.
"Did you bring the groceries to the kitchen?"
"Did you manage to buy everything on the list?"
"You're always late. Did you make a detour for this?"
Faustine knew how to arrange the truth. Technically, the bookshop was on her way home. If she got home late, it was because she stopped to go there, but she didn't make a detour.
She squinted her wrinkled little eyes at the remark, before sighing. She bent down to grab something from the floor, before tossing it onto her desk. Faustine's heart sank.
All her books were stacked in a neat pile. She recognized each one by edge, size or color. Eyebrows raised and eyes wide, she betrayed her surprise and stress to the director, who remained as impassive as possible.
"I got this from your room. A child who was doing the housework wanted to sweep under your bed. That's when she saw a wooden slat askew. Pushing it aside, she discovered these books, which she promptly brought back to me, as they're normally kept in the library.โ
With a lump in her throat, Faustine didn't reply and remained fixated on her wonders.ย
"Can you tell me where they came from?"
An answer was required of her, but she'd be doomed either way. And the director knew it.
"Did you steal those books?โ
"Did anyone give them to you?"
"Did you use the money I gave you to go shopping to buy them?"
"Only what was left over. I made sure to do all the shopping beforehand, and if there were a few coins left over, I'd put them aside to buy myself a book. I would never-
"So, you used the money from the orphanage to buy yourself presents?"
Faustinesโs clammy hands began to shake again, as she tried to avoid the director's gaze.
"Y-yes... But it was only a very small amount, and I thought-"
"-So in addition to being a liar, you're a thief. And have been for a long time, if I judge this pile of books. I knew you were a selfish child, Faustine, but not to this degree."
The words felt like a punch in the face. She'd always disappointed the director, but it was something else to hear her say it.
The old woman grabbed the book at the top of the pile and adjusted her glasses in disgust as she read the cover.
"Andโฆ for what? For such... nonsense?"
Faustine bristled as she saw the hooked fingers leafing through her precious book. She bit her tongue to keep from yelling.
"Dragons, fairies, magic. Where did you get the idea to fill your head with such ludicrousy? You've always had your head in the clouds, but I was hoping you'd at least think about your future, not... this."
"No, you donโt, young lady!" the director shouted, rising from the chair, unable to bear being contradicted. "What you need is a strict, firm education. You've got to stop fantasizing about imaginary worlds and start living in reality! The only life you have is the one our Lord has granted you. Can't you see I'm trying to help you surviveย a life outside these walls? What good are your dreams, when you're out on the street with nothing but your body to sell?"
The violence of these words cut Faustine off at the seams. Her muscles twitched. She would have liked to retort, but the director wasn't entirely wrong; part of Faustine's reason for reading was to escape this monotonous life. She would rather lose herself in these worlds than have to face reality. Miss Robertson realizedย that she had touched a nerve, and continued to plunge in.
"Would you like me to remind you of the future that awaits you on the other side of our gates? Here, you're fed, you have a roof over your head, but outside, you'll have to fend for yourself if you don't want to sleep under a bridge. You'll have to work, if anyone is willing to take you on. Which won't happen if you keep daydreaming and wasting your time."
She finally picked up the stack of books and moved dangerously close to the fireplace. Faustine's eyes widened, but she had no time to react.ย
"You're a smart girl, Faustine. You know I'm right. And if I have to go that far to make you come to your senses, so be it."
The director tossed the books into the fire. Faustine stifled a frightened scream and raised a desperate arm towards the quickly blackening paper. She was ready to burn her hands to retrieve it, but the old woman turned sharply and unfolded her hooked fingers towards her.
"Give me the book you bought today."
A flash of memory made Faustine flinch, propelling her down the snowy street, only to be brought back by the stifling heat of the flames decomposing her treasure.
"I don't have any," she replied, her throat dry.
"Then give me back the money you had left over from the errand. I'm sure you didn't spend it all."
A vein in the director's temple threatened to explode in anger as she cut Faustine off from her explanation by violently grabbing her wrist. The teenager's blue eyes widened in horror at the sight of her raised hand, which immediately lowered to her cheek with a sonorous clap.
"A thief... a liar..." growled the director between her teeth. "A beating, that's all you deserve."
Faustine's mind clouded with shock. In addition to the pain, it was the violence of the act that left her dazed. She blinked several times to come to her senses, and the first thing she saw was her precious books charred in the fireplace. She wanted to scream at her tormentor. To tell her that she couldn't be satisfied with a life like this. That she didn't owe her or God for her current situation. That she wanted more. That she needed more.
But when the old woman raised her hand again to strike, fear took control of her body. Faustine managed to break free from the steely grip and ran.
The directorโs shrill cries ordered her to return, but she did not. She ran towards the exit and violently pushed open the doors. The cold winter wind assaulted her face, but she didn't care.
Arriving at the high gate, Faustine slowed down, her heart racing. Howling sounded behind her. Panicking, she shoved her hands into her pockets and sighed as they touched a small metal object. The gates couldn't resist the key she'd kept from her afternoon outing. Once again, Faustine stepped through the gate like a penitentiary that had seen the light of day after years of confinement. She surrendered to her footsteps, which guided her to who knew where.ย
As long as it was far from the orphanage, sheโd be alright.
Faustine didn't know how long she'd been running. Step after step in the snow, arms crossed over her body for warmth, Faustine tried to tell herself that she'd been right to run away, even if it didn't seem like it. With each doubt that crossed her mind, she recalled the slap on her face and her books burning. The thought of that fire overwhelmed and made her shiver. What would she give for a little warmth? The moon shone high in the sky, although the stars were hidden by the light pollution of the street lamps. How many times had she admired the white moon from her bedroom? If her situation wasn't so desperate, she'd savor this moment of silence she'd missed so much at the orphanage. London seemed to have frozen into a resplendent tableau. Her eyes moved from the sky to the lighted windows in the houses. If she listened carefully, she could hear children laughing.
She took a step in the direction of one of the houses, before changing her mind, caught up in her doubts. She looked around, searching for a familiar building in vain. When she was allowed out of the orphanage, she always took the same route. The stores, then the bookshop. She had never strayed from this path, as she preferred to burn her time among the pages rather than in the real world. Determined to find a purpose, she set out to find her favorite store. With any luck, Mr. Callan would be able to help her. Running her tongue over her chapped lips, she strove to take another step forward, motivated by the idea of being able to reach her sanctuary.
After about ten minutes, she finally stood in front of the building.
The store was closed. Looking up at the windows above, Faustine put her frozen hands around her mouth to echo.
"Hello? Anybody home, please?"
No light came on. Faustine waited a few minutes, calling again. She knocked on the door with the knocker, but no soul intervened.
Faustine slid down the door. Her skirt came into contact with the snow, but she didn't shiver. I'm only taking a break, she thought to herself, before setting off again. But go back where? She could retrace her steps back to the orphanage, but a shiver crept up her spine at the very thought. She could always wait here till dawn, wait to see more clearly, to see people, and... what? Beg? Ask for help? Who'd want to help a bum orphan? It wouldn't be long before the police brought her back. The director was right: she was fed and housed there. She thought of that old beggar she gave her coins to. Was he alright and fed tonight?
Curled up against herself to fight off the cold and her thoughts in anxious disarray, Faustine felt her eyelids close on their own, before a movement caught her attention. In a narrow passageway between two buildings, two men appeared literally from nowhere, before their feet touched the ground. Faustine stood up, unsure of what she had just witnessed. The strangers glanced around, but failed to spot the teenager at the other end of the street. They moved deeper into the dark alley, as if nothing had happened.
Intrigued, Faustine decided to follow them.
She ran down the alley, the sound of her footsteps muffled by the snow. Keeping a good distance between her and the two men, sheย nevertheless observed them in more detail. Both woreย long trench coats, the one on the left was taller, slimmer and withย a distinguished top hat. The shorter one was stocky and bald, but also sounded older somehow. Without shouting, snatches of their conversation reached Faustine.ย
"... Ready... Good time...?"ย
"... Don't worry... Important merchandiseโฆ"
"... If ever... magic..."
Faustine almost stopped at the word.ย
Wide-eyed, she wanted to learn more, before realizing that she had to slow down: she had been mechanically speeding up. She stood still for a moment, only to see the men turn between two buildings and disappear from sight. Panicking, she hurried to join them. Around the corner, she saw them take a high iron door. As it closed heavily behind them, its features began to fade, as if someone was erasing them. Without thinking, Faustine ran towards it, grabbed the still visible handle and stepped inside. The entrance vanished at once. Her amazed eyes remained fixed on the now smooth wall. A problem for later.
Turning around, she discovered a small open-air courtyard, surrounded by tall buildings with faded facades. A long corridor led at the end to a brick wall, where one would expect to find a door. A tall cylindrical tower overlooked the apartments, with small square windows opening onto a staircase. The smell of carrion wrinkled her nose.
The two strange men faced a new stranger. His clothes matched: a luxurious black suit under a long brown coat. He wore graying sideburns and small, round glasses. His features wrinkled as the two men approached, revealing a growing anxiety. Faustine hid behind a wooden barrel, serving as a table with bottles of alcohol on its lid. In this position, she couldn't see the men, but their voices came through loud and clear.
"Mr. Thompson, what a pleasure to see you again," declared the smaller man. "Are you satisfied with our boiling teapot?"
"Y-yes. My mother-in-law has been in the hospital ever since I gave it to her. I didn't see with my own eyes the miracles you promised, but the result was there."
Faustine tilted her head a little more towards them, ears wide open.
"Apparently, her house was turned upside down, there was tea everywhere. Her face was burned -but she'll get over it. The authorities blamed it on an argument between neighbors."
"I'm delighted," continued the older man. "Will you be interested in our latest merchandise?"
"Invisibility potion," croaked the young man in a squeaky voice that made her wince.
Faustine peeked out a bit.
He twirled a vial with his long fingertips, like charming a snake with his flute. The man with the sideburns seemed mesmerized, before coughing his way out of the daydream.
"Perhaps I could have a... glimpse of its effectiveness?"
The bald man placed his hands on his hips.
"The teapot worked fine, didn't it?"
The two sellers exchanged brief glances, eyebrows furrowed and backs straightened. The younger directed his hand beneath his coat, before the other raised his arms in submission.
"You heard him. The gentleman wants to check the quality of our products."
The younger man grunted. He caught the cork in his teeth before spitting it on the floor, then lifted the unfamiliar liquid to his lips. In three gulps, the vial was empty. Faustine's breathing came to a halt as she watched the man's contours gradually disappear, like the door a few moments ago. First his feet, then his hips, back, arms and finally his head. If a slight reflection still allowed a glimpse of a shape, the illusion was almost perfect. A long smile spread across her cold-rosy face. She had never witnessed anything so extraordinary.
The invisible figure spun around, as evidenced by the footprints in the snow. Then, a few seconds later, he reappeared. Faustineโs heart pounded in her chest.
The magician pulled another bottle from his coat, while the other held out a greedy hand.
"As for the price... You'll understand that we're the only ones to sell these items to the Muggle world. You'll never find them anywhere else. As for its effectiveness, there's nothing better. You're free to do what you like with it."
Muggle world? Now they were talking in strange words that filled her ears like a sweet melody. The sight made her forget the biting cold that froze her limbs from crouching behind that barrel. Until her foot landed on a sharp texture that made a screeching sound. Shards of broken glass are crushed under her sole.
The three men immediately stared at her with big, round eyes. Faustine remained motionless, naively hoping they wouldn't see her. But in her eagerness to hear a little more of their conversation, she had moved far too close, the barrel no longer hiding her. Suddenly, a terrible tension filled every bone in her body, the magic of one moment turning into the dread of another.
Faustine took a step back, her hands raised in submission, well aware that she shouldn't be here.
"Listen, I won't say anything. I didn't see anything."
The taller dealer was the first to walk up to her, while casting a questioning glance at the second, who shook his head briefly. Faustine stepped back.
"I swear to you. No one will know an-"
A bolt of red lightning struck. Faustine quickly crouched down with a scream, clasping her hands over her head. The young man clutched a distorted wooden wand in his hand, a scarlet glow emanating from it. Glancing back, Faustine saw a smoldering black mark on the wall where the door had previously appeared.
"What are you waiting for?" spat the eldest.
His arm rose. Sparks flew from the end of the wood. The girl didn't wait for the rest. She leapt up, and another bolt of lightning struck the spot where she had been a second before. The snow melted there with an icy crackle. Not asking for more, Faustine ran to the tower. She passed the customer, who just stood there, helpless. As the girl reached the gate, her hands struck the cold metal as she gripped it with all her might. Miraculously, it opened under her weight.
A searing explosion melted the metal centimeters from her fingers. Wide-eyed, the orphan rushed up the spiral staircase.
The two men set off after her. Their every step echoed in the narrow tower. Spells kept coming, but the circular architecture meant they could never aim right. A brick exploded just above her. Each explosion vibrated in her chest, as if her heart would stop at the next one.
With wobbly legs, Faustine shoved the exit door open. She found herself on the rooftops. London was sleeping just below. Breathing heavily, she would have stopped to admire the scenery, if two wizards - were they wizards? - weren't trying to kill her.
The shout snapped her out of stupor. Faustine placed a shaky foot on the first snow-covered roof. Her legs hesitated between running and walking. The void pitched at less than a meter. The cold wind swept through her blond hair and unbalanced every limb. But she kept going, one slippery step after another. Don't look down. Don't look down...
A shout snapped her out of her stream of thought.
Immediately, the roof jumped under her feet. Tiles smashed into her forearms as she shielded her face. A cry escaped her lips as she desperately reached out, clawing at the void to grab hold of something. Her right hand caught a hanging store sign, a stabbing pain shot through her shoulder. A gag turned her stomach. All her limbs would have shattered if she hadn't caught herself. Her left hand joined the first on the board, transfixed by the touch of icy metal and snow. But her fingers slipped inexorably.
"No, no, noโฆโ she mumbled through clenched teeth.
Her buttocks landed first, the snow taking part of the fall. But that didn't stop her legs from hitting the sidewalk hard. Her body begged to lie still. To not move. Blood pounded in her temples, while an icy breath crossed her chapped lips. How good it would be to close her eyes and feel nothing. But the voice of her pursuers immediately put her back on her bruised legs.
"You're going to wake up the whole neighborhood!"ย
Windows in the surrounding buildings lit up with candles, alerted by the noise. Some shutters opened. But most remained closed, as if the inhabitants were trying to escape the danger from outside.
Her words bounced into the void. The wizards came closer and closer. Which way did they come down? No time to think, no time to wait for help. Her feet had to start running again, despite the pain. Unfortunately, she didn't know this part of London: every street seemed a labyrinth.
Faustine slipped on a patch of black ice, which made her turn at a crossroads. She caught herself in extremis so as not to fall, just as another bolt of red lightning streaked across the sky to burn a lock of her hair. Out of breath, she straightened up and rushed into the new alleyway. Her feet pounded the ground, shaky but holding firm. A groan caught in her throat as she spotted a wooden palisade standing in her way. The footsteps of her enemies reached her ears. Turning back was impossible. She took a short breath before jumping. She slid down the fence, but her hands caught painfully on the edge of the wooden planks. Her right shoulder shot with pain again. Without paying any attention, Faustine pulled herself up as fast as she could, before landing crouched on the other side. She winced as she felt a snap in her leg. Get back on your feet, get back, get back!
But the palisade exploded right behind her, dragging the girl along in its blast. She screamed in surprise, thrown forward. Her face crashed into the snow. Her trembling hands immediately tried to pull her to her feet. Stand up.
"We've got you at last.โ
Faustine turned towards the pursuers, still lying down, crawling away.
Her back jerked as she hit a wall. Her face sank: a dead-end.ย
"I won't say anything," she begged once more, "I have nothing to say to anyone, I'm nobody."
Her suffocating respiration was the only thing she held on to. A breath.
Both wizards raised their wands.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
They pointed in her direction.
Faustine's body instinctively folded in on itself, ready to receive the blow.
Rays of sunlight seeped through the windows to caress her face. The scent of plants hung softly in the air. Gradually, ambient noises reached her: rapid footsteps on the wooden floor, muffled speech, the rustle of leaves. Faustine opened one eye.
The first thing she saw was a white ceiling. She turned her head back onto the pillow she was resting against. To the right, a half-closed shutter on a high window let in the sun. To the left, a few peonies slumbered in a vase, surrounded by medicine-scented bottles. A small basin of water stood on the wooden bedside table, along with linen and bandages. In the corner of the room, a lonely wooden chair lay.
The girl winced as she tried to sit up. Her whole body ached. As she tried to move her right arm, she realized that it was wrapped in a scarf, which passed behind her neck. Abandoning the idea of using it, her second hand palpated her face. Faustine ran her fingertips over herย forehead, down her left eye, then down her cheek to her neck. Her heart began to palpitate. Bandages.
The basin suddenly began to shake, startling her, then stopped. Faustine remained motionless for a few seconds, staring at the copper bowl that seemed to tell her she'd just been dreaming. Hesitantly, she raised a hand timidly towards her bedside table. The object remained in its place. What did you expect?
Until it moved in her direction. It was so slight that she couldn't believe her eyes. Her mouth half-opened astonished. Then a pain in the back of her head jolted her to life.
Suddenly, the door to her room opened, and a young woman in a gray dress with a white apron appeared. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a tight bun, while a white hat sat delicately on her head. A few strands of hair fell over her softly pale face. A gentle smile widened on her pink lips.ย
She swiftly turned and tapped a nurse passing in the corridor behind her.
"Tell Doctor Harding to come and see the patient in room 32."
Finally, she approached the bed, her arms laden with linen and bandages. Faustine couldn't help but recoil at her approach. The nurse stopped dead in her tracks.
"It's all right, you're safe here.โ
She placed her belongings on the sheets.
"I'll have to change your bandages."
Her voice was gentle, but firm. It wasn't a question. Docile, Faustine relented. The young woman then set about removing the pins holding the bandages around her head. One by one, she gently unwound them. Unlike the new ones, these were yellowed and spotted with red marks. As soon as the bandages covering her left eye were removed, she could see fully again. Her blond hair slipped in contact with her mutilated skin, making her shudder.
"Can I... can I see myself?" she asked in a hoarse voice.
The nurse frowned, not in annoyance, but in concern.
"I don't know if it's advisable to... The doctor will come..."
Faustine held the end of her sheets tightly, trembling. The young woman withstood her pleading looks for a few seconds, before giving in. She placed the basin on the Faustines lap. The girlโs gaze dipped into the reflection.
The scar began on her forehead, before reaching her left eyelid. Then from dark circles came two lines, one running down to her chin and ending in a curl. The second scribbled three arcs, crossing her entire cheek, descending a little further towards her ear, before zigzagging across her neck, divided into multiple strokes before ending.
Faustine sat still, staring again and again at the scar. Her eyes kept gliding over the loop, uncovering something new with each pass. Half her face was disfigured. Above the reflection of her head, she noticed a crucifix towering over her, hanging on the wall.
"... We thought you might be able to shed some light on the matter."
The door opened again as the young woman finished pinning the last bandage. An older man, with brown hair plastered to his head and a beardless chin, stood upright in the doorway. A leather-bound notebook, aged by time, stood in his steady hand.ย The nurse immediately stood up.
"I've finished, Doctor. I'll leave you with her."
Faustine didn't have time to thank the nurse in turn before she had already left, closing the door. The doctor approached swiftly.
"My name is Dr. Harding. I'm the one who took care of you during your convalescence. Glad to see you awake."
He pulled out the wooden chair calmly to sit opposite the bed. Faustine sure wasn't used to such benevolence, especially in the space of fifteen minutes.
The doctor's voice was warm, deep and well timed as he spoke again. Faustine found herself thinking that he would have made a good singer.ย
"Your situation has been stabilized. You have a sprain in your arm, which should recover in a few weeks with rest. Your pelvis and legs are riddled with superficial wounds, requiring only a few days' immobility for a full recovery. Your facial wound came very close to blind your eyeball, but thank goodness your left eye was spared."
Faustine assimilated this information without flinching. The doctor then opened his notebook and took a pen from his jacket.
"I'm now going to ask you a few questions."
The girl swallowed, her voice still hoarse.
"Faustine. Faustine Daemon."
Fortunately, no remark was made about her too un-Catholic name.
"St. Maria-the-Bow Orphanage."
The pen didn't stop tracing black lines on the yellowed pages.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
Faustine narrowed her eyes, trying to put her memories together like puzzle pieces.
"I left the orphanage... and wandered the streets. I found myself... er... in a park. No, in front of Mr. Callan's bookshop. And I..."
The burning books. The slap. Her legs tumbling down the stairs. The cold biting her skin. The moon shining in the night. From there, her memories cracked more and more, until they ended in little pieces.
The pen stopped dead on the page. Doctor Harding raised his head, scratching his chin.
"Don't blame yourself for this. You've had a shock and a concussion. I wanted to find out how far back your memory went, but it seems that some of it has escaped you.โ
"Will I regain my memories?"
The notebook closed with a snap. The doctor leaned forward, as if about to confide something.
"Neighbors found you unconscious, alone in the street, in the middle of the night. Apparently, they were alerted by screams. You were found in a pitiful state, but fortunately you were quickly taken to our hospital. We suspect an assault with a knife, from the look of the wound on your face."
Faustine digested this new information, trying to paste it back together with her memories, in vain. She shivered as her fingertips touched the bandages. What happened to me?
"I've prescribed two weeks' rest, we'll see how you recover. You're malnourished, which may lengthen the time of your recovery. You'll have to take medicine morning and night, and eat well to regain your strength. The police may come to question you, and an investigation should be opened."
"Don't worry, theyโre here to help you. Just answer what you know."
The man rose from the chair, before grabbing the door handle.
"Right, I'll let the director of your orphanage know you're here."
The next day, the police did indeed come : Faustine told them everything she knew about the attack, which wasn't much. Even the neighbors had gathered more information. Those who had found her unconscious had heard her cry for help. Two silhouettes of men had been identified, but everyone was too far away to describe them. Faustine wasn't much help at this point.
From the look on the police officers' faces, the case would be dropped. No one wants to waste time investigating an orphan and two vanished thugs.
As soon as they had left, Faustine's throat was dry from all the talking, she wanted to help herself to the glass of water on the table. But no sooner had she thought of this than it came right up to the rim, threatening to fall to the ground.
This sort of thing started happening more and more every day. Whenever she was alone, objects began to move. The shutters opened in the morning to let in the soft glow of the sun, the sheets covered her up to her shoulders when she shivered with fever, the chair turned towards her as if to watch over her when she felt lonely. Only the crucifix above her head remained peaceful.
No plausible explanation came to mind for all this. Except that she was really going mad.
The days passed slowly. Faustine's legs almost fully recovered, and her arm was on the mend. Her scar had not become infected, the wound now stabilized. The nurses removed the bandages for good, judging that they were no longer needed. However, the doctor confirmed that she would remain scarredย for life.
On the morning of the tenth day, the bedroom door slammed against the wall as it suddenly opened. Instead of a nurse or the smiling face of Dr. Harding, viper's eyes hidden behind rectangular glasses darted in the direction of the patient's scar. Miss Robertson's wrinkled face immediately grimaced with disgust.
"This time, for sure. No one will want you anymore."
An invisible punch struck Faustine's chest.
The director inspected the small room around her, sniffing. The empty chair invited her to sit down, but she deliberately ignored it.
"I suppose the Lord has punished you enough for your insolence. Nevertheless, don't think that everything will be forgotten when you return to the orphanage. You'll have so many tasks to complete that you won't even think of running away."
Faustine wanted to cover her ears. Every word exuded nothing but contempt. Worse, reality had really caught up with her: the director was right. She was nothing outside the bars of the orphanage. A single night out had landed her in a hospital, disfigured. If there had been any hope of adoption, it was now gone. No one would want a crazy, mutilated thief.
"The doctor said you'll be home in two days."
With that, she turned on her heel and left.
Two days before returning to the routine of the orphanage.
Two days before returning to the low masses, the chores, the punishments, the hopeless prayers. Her books now ashes, she'd never set foot outside again until she came of age, and then - and then what?
Magic didn't exist, nothing could save her from this fateful destiny, all because her parents hadn't wanted her.
Her head bowed and her fingers clutched at the sheets, Faustine bit her lips and fought a sob in her throat. Objects around her began to shake, subtly at first, before threatening to fall. The glass on the bedside table cracked, the shutters slammed, the flowers lost their petals, the chair crunched to the floor. Faustine felt Christ's gaze burn her back. She turned sharply to unhook him from the wall and raised her arm, ready to throw him. Red-eyed, holding back tears, her body trembled like the whole room, like a heart in unison. Her skin broke as she clutched the cross so tightly in her hands. Breathing hard, she was about to throw away the sacred object, before finally changing her mind. The room stopped shaking. She turned it over in her hands to observe Christ's wounded expression, bleeding on his cross. A tear rolled down her wounded cheek before falling onto his face. With her back bent and her shoulders slumped, Faustine could no longer stop tears from flowing.
"I'm sorry." she murmured between hiccups.
She didn't know to whom she was apologizing.
There was only one day left. Faustine rested, head buried in the pillow. All she wanted was to enjoy these last few hours of calm. The sun's rays caressed her skin. Her sleep was constantly disturbed by nightmares, a mixture of screams, blows and green lightning. It all seemed far too real. Even her imagination had decided to abandon her.
Someone knocked on the door, causing her to open her eyes.
"You have a visitor." announced a nurse.
A man of advanced years, dressed in a strange blue and brown jacket, stepped into the doorway. He wore a blue scarf studded with arabesques and stars. His gray hair and wrinkled face made him look wise, but not hard, unlike Miss Robertson. Unlike her, his gaze glanced distractedly at the orphan without seeming to see her. The nurse left them alone.
"Sorry for my lateness," he muttered. "Professor Weasley asked me to come and welcome you, but I've been caught up with business at the Ministry and haven't seen the time. All for the sake of trivialities, once again..."
He stopped short in his tirade as Faustine stared at him with two big round eyes. She had never seen this man before. It was the first time she'd seen anyone dressed like that, even in London.ย
Her gaze moved from his jacket to his brown vest, leather sleeves and beautifully patterned scarf. When he spoke again, she feared she'd been rude to spy on him like that.
"Anyway, none of this is important, and I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Professor Eleazar Fig, I teach magical theory at Hogwarts. You must be Faustine Daemon?"
A familiar feeling, coming from she didn't know where, made her shudder as she assimilated so much information at once, all missing a little more meaning. She wished she could have paused the conversation to try and understand these terms. Hogwarts? Magic theory? And where did he know her name from? This name, pronounced with no hatred in his voice.
As if reading her mind, said professor grabbed a letter from inside of his jacket, before handing it to her.
"This should be able to enlighten you."
Hesitantly, Faustine reached for the envelope with a limp hand, her right arm having almost recovered. Her hand folded in on itself, as if she feared burning herself as she reached for the paper, before taking it with her fingertips under the old man's warm smile. The wax seal showed an "H", surely for the name of the school. She gently broke it to open the contents.
Her eyes roamed the black lines, her heart beating faster and faster with each word.
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a fifth-year student.
Term begins on 1 September.
Preliminary supplies have been collected for you and will accompany you on your journey to the castle.
As you may be aware, the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery prohibits the use of magic by those under the age of seventeen outside the school. However, due to your unique circumstances, the Ministry has graciously agreed to allow Professor Eleazar Fig to help you hone your spell-casting before escorting you from London to the castle for the start-of-term feast and the Sorting Ceremony.
The emblem at the top of the letter depicted a lion, a snake, a badger and an eagle, surrounding the letter H. Faustine's fingers were gripping the paper so tightly they were turning white. The professor was about to speak again, but she was quicker:
The old man's gray eyebrows furrowed.
"I beg your pardon? Why would it be?"
The orphan's whole body began to tremble. The letter crumpled under her clammy hands.
"Please," she begged, "if it's a bad joke, say so now. If... if this is false hopeโฆ"
These last words endedย with a sob. Why was this happening now? Why, after resigning to dreamย of a better life, after having been told all these yearsย that she wasn't good enough for anything, was she being told that she was a student at a magic school? The very thought would earn her at least fifteen strokes at the orphanage.
Professor Fig glanced at the closed door.
"Perhaps an example is more telling."
A slightly twisted wooden wand appeared in his age-stained hand. With the other, he picked up the empty glass beside the bed. He twirled the tip of the wand just once in the air, and a jet of water plunged from it into the container. It all happened so fast that Faustine thought she was daydreaming. He reached for the glass, but before she could grab it, he dropped it. When it should have spilled onto the sheets, it just hung there. She stared at it, not daring to touch it for fear of breaking the spell. Nevertheless, she passed a hand over and under the glass, to check that no threads were hanging from it.
"So... it's true?" she murmured. "But... Why isn't anyone talking about it? Why does everyone seem to fear just the mention of magic?"
The professor coughed in embarrassment.
"The Wizarding world and the Muggle world - the world of non-magical beings - are two very distinct things. We live in hiding, because we're... well... not very well received."
Faustine thought back to the orphanage, the prayers, the witchcraft associated with the Devil and all the torments of Earth. Yet here, in front of her, magic had never seemed so benevolent.
"Ever since I've been in the hospital, I've been seeing objects move around me. I... I thought I was crazy."
"Not at all, my child. They're just fragments of the magic inside you. A far greater power awaits you, with a little practice."
My child. Her eyes moistened at the mention.
"According to your doctor, you seem to have experienced a, uh... assault," he continued carefully, lest he hurt her feelings. "This traumatic event may have awakened your dormant powers. Your name appeared in the Book of Admittance on the night of the event. By the way..."
His gaze fell for the first time on her scar. But no disgust contorted his features.
"... Sure you were told it was a knife assault, however, the shape of your wound hints of its magical nature. I'm afraid you've met some dark wizards."
At these words, images of green and blue lightning battled in her mind, causing a sudden migraine. It was all too blurred to make any sense of it, but that might explain her nightmares.
"Let me reassure you," the professor added, "that you won't have to deal with those kinds of individuals at Hogwarts. The school is protected by powerful spells that prevent anyone with malicious intent from attacking our students. Not to mention our teachers, each more powerful than the last, will defend you.โ
"And Miss Robertson? The director of my orphanage?"
He winced at the mention.
"I met this charming lady before coming to see you. As she's your legal guardian, I had to inform her about the magical world and your nature as a witch. She looked like she was going to chase me off with a crucifix. But she can't interfere with wizarding law. She's the only one who knows this secret, and knows the consequences of revealingย it to anyone.โ
"Does this mean I won't be living in the orphanage anymore?" she asked, hopeful.
"Only during summer vacations though, and until you come of age. But during the school year, you'll be living at Hogwarts, in the house to which you'll be sorted."
Faustine lowered her head at this announcement. While she was delighted to be able to escape the nuns for more than half the year, she would still have to go back. But it was a good start. She'd never expected so much.
As she wanted to ask more, so many questions rising in her head at once, but Professor Fig spoke to her calmly again:
"If it suits well with you, I'll be your mentor for the next few months between now and the start of the new school year. I'll teach you the basic spells, provide you with history books on the wizarding world, everything you need to catch up to your peers and start the fifth year in peace."
If that suits me? Why wouldn't it suit me? All her life, she'd hoped such a moment would come. While she waited for parents to free her from the burden of orphanhood, here she was, thrust back into her beloved fantasy books. She would be able to live in a castle, meet magical creatures, surrounded by students who were just like her. Wizards.
Her voice trembled with excitement, eyes brimming with tears.
She believed in magic again.
Thank you so much for reading this far. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it ๐ซถ it was a great adventure, and I'm happy with the result ๐ฅนThanks again to @alsopartgekkos for your precious help โจ I'd love to know what you think, so please don't hesitate to leave a comment ๐
PS: english isn't my first language, sorry for the mistakes!
