Reblogged idontwikeit
Happy birthday to the movie that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry
Reblogged matchingbatbites
Wrong Number, Right Person
938 words | no cw | i know i said i would do eddies pov but everytime i tried writing it it felt off :< | and so sorry this took so long!! i have a LOT of stuff going on personally
Robin snatched Steve’s backup phone from his hands before he could protest, scrolling through the messages with a gleeful smirk.
“Oh my god, Steve. You flirted with them.”
“I did not!” Steve lunged for the phone, but Robin dodged, hopping onto the couch to keep it out of reach.
“Uh, ‘I hate how funny you are’? ‘Okay but you have to say who you are though’?” She mimicked his voice in a ridiculous falsetto. “That’s textbook flirting.”
Steve groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “It’s not. I was just—curious.”
“Curious,” Robin repeated, deadpan. “Right. Because you totally put this much effort into every wrong number text.”
Steve opened his mouth, then shut it.
Robin grinned. “Exactly. Now—” She tossed the phone back to him. “Text them again.”
Steve fumbled the catch, barely saving it from face-planting onto the floor. “What? No. I already apologized for the wrong number thing. It’d be weird.”
Robin rolled her eyes so hard Steve worried they might get stuck. “Steve. You trauma-dumped about your terrible date to a complete stranger, and they not only listened but joined in on roasting him. That’s not ‘weird.’ That’s fate.”
Steve scoffed. “Fate?”
“Fate,” Robin repeated solemnly, pressing a dramatic hand to her chest. “Now text them, or I swear to god, I’ll do it for you.”
Steve hesitated, thumb hovering over the screen.
It was kind of nice talking to them. And they were funny. And—okay, fine, maybe a tiny bit intriguing.
He exhaled sharply and started typing.
Steve: so. about earlier.
Steve: i feel like i should apologize again for trauma dumping on a stranger lmao
The reply came almost instantly.
Unknown Number: nah, don’t worry about it. your suffering was highly entertaining
Steve: wow. glad my pain amuses you
Unknown Number: it really does. so, any updates? did you block the guy? change your name? flee the country
Steve: considering all options tbh
Unknown Number: i vote flee the country.start fresh. new identity.
Steve: you’re a terrible influence
Unknown Number: you have no idea ;)
Steve bit back a grin.
Robin, who had been shamelessly reading over his shoulder, nudged him with her elbow. “Oh my god, they’re flirting with you.”
“They are not,” Steve hissed, though his ears felt suspiciously warm.
Steve: still not gonna tell me who you are?
Unknown Number: nope. but i’ll give you another hint
Steve: …ok?
Unknown Number: i have two eyes
Steve groaned.
Steve: revolutionary. truly.
Unknown Number: i know, i’m so mysterious
Steve: you’re so annoying
Unknown Number: you love it
Steve’s thumb froze over the screen.
Robin let out a loud “Ooooh.”
Steve elbowed her. “Shut up.”
Steve: bold assumption
Unknown Number: not an assumption. a fact.
Steve’s face warmed.
Robin cackled. “Oh my god. They’re good.”
Steve ignored her, typing quickly before he could overthink it.
Steve: okay. if you won’t tell me who you are, at least tell me how you got my number
Unknown Number: wouldn’t you like to know, harrington?
Steve blinked.
Steve: wait. you know my name?
Unknown Number: of course i do.
Robin gasped. “Ohhhh shit.”
Steve’s pulse jumped.
Steve: okay now i definitely need to know who this is
Unknown Number: where’s the fun in that?
Steve: i hate you
Unknown Number: no you don’t
Steve exhaled, exasperated but amused.
Steve: fine. keep your secrets. but i will figure it out
Unknown Number: looking forward to it
Robin snatched the phone again before Steve could stop her, typing rapidly.
“Robin—”
“Relax! I’m helping.”
Steve grabbed for the phone, but she danced out of reach, hitting send with a triumphant smirk.
He stared in horror at the screen.
Steve (Robin): so when are you guys going on your first date? since you’re so sure steve loves you
Steve’s stomach dropped. “Robin.”
The reply came instantly.
Unknown Number: name the time and place. i’ll be there.
Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands.
Robin cackled. “This is the best day of my life.”
Steve grabbed the phone back, typing frantically.
Steve: IGNORE HER. SHE’S A MENACE.
Unknown Number: too late. i already like her
Steve: …this is a nightmare
Unknown Number: don’t worry, steve. i’ll make sure our first date is better than your last one
Steve: you’re insufferable
Unknown Number: you’re blushing
Steve was, in fact, blushing.
Robin collapsed onto the couch next to him, wheezing with laughter. “Oh my god. You’re screwed.”
Steve groaned, throwing an arm over his face.
This was not how today was supposed to go.
(And yet—some small, traitorous part of him was excited.)
Steve stared at his ceiling, phone resting on his chest. He should not be thinking about this. He should not be smiling at his phone like an idiot. And he definitely should not be considering texting them again.
But.
He grabbed his phone.
Steve: okay. one more hint.
Unknown Number: bold of you to assume i’ll give in that easily
Steve: bold of you to assume i won’t annoy you until you do
Unknown Number: oh? so you are planning on keeping me around?
Steve: don’t flatter yourself
Unknown Number: too late ;)
Steve huffed a laugh.
Steve: fine. no hints. but answer me this—do i actually know you?
Unknown Number: maybe
Steve: that’s not an answer
Unknown Number: it’s my answer
Steve: you’re impossible
Unknown Number: and yet here you are, still texting me
Steve rolled onto his side, biting his lip to keep from grinning.
Steve: …shut up.
Unknown Number: make me
Steve’s breath caught.
Oh.
This was bad.
This was very bad.
Because whoever was on the other end of this phone?
Steve was doomed.
taglist: @ellietheasexylibrarian , @tartarusknight , @ravenfrog
Reblogged matchingbatbites
djo making the crux at electric lady studios, ph. by cj harvey
Reblogged wizardstardust
Iconic seafarer beards became a trend to scare away pesky mermaids.
Mermaid, seeing a bald pirate: Zero threat…! Mermaid, seeing a hairy, bearded pirate: If I get too close their face tentacles will eat me…!
Most mermaids only grow short beards as not to scare baby mermaids (longer beards look like the tentacled mouths of hungry squids and octopuses).
Pirates use this innate fear to their advantage to protect themselves from mermaids, hence the iconic beards and hat:
I like how this is presented as factual information
water-of-the-bong
because it is
Reblogged
i didnt really have an opinion before but mari really should've been the one who's alive and had toxic yuri with shauna bc melissa did not have a strong enough reaction to getting her arm bit off by shauna and then DRAGGED BACK TO HER HOUSE by the other yellowjackets.
AFTER SHE TOLD THEM THAT SHAUNA MADE HER EAT HER OWN ARM FAM.
Reblogged
and like the thing is. i’m pro all the survivors dying i think that is what the wilderness or whatever wants or that they’ll get themselves so tangled in what they think the wilderness wants that it’ll kill them. but it’s not happening in a satisfying way. van shouldn’t have died at the hands of a character that didn’t exist til s2. lottie shouldn’t have died with unfinished interesting plot lines and with most of her story still left to be explored. i know the tragedy is that they die, it’s just not being done in a way where that tragedy can be appreciated.
Reblogged robbie-verse
were I to create an original piece of media I would create bait so queer in order to create a fanfic environment I like. I find you guys do your best work under duress.