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The Mystery Hack

@fivesecondmemory / fivesecondmemory.tumblr.com

The personal blog of Sierra - the human personification of the questionmark

My interest is piqued, please explain this domino effect

henry viii breaks with rome -> england spends a solid century in various states of religious turmoil -> anglicanism is eventually established as the national religion -> catholics, including guy fawkes, grow frustrated with james i's protestantisn and try to overthrow him -> guy fawkes night becomes a national holiday in which effigies of fawkes are burnt -> the effigies become known as "guys" after him -> the word "guy" goes from meaning "effigy of guy fawkes" to "poorly dressed man" to "a generic, unspecified man" -> the word "guys" goes from meaning "a group of men" to both "a group of men" and "a group of people, of mixed or indeterminate genders" -> some people remain uncomfortable with the second meaning of "guy"/"guys" because they still associate it more closely with the first -> et voilà

I have to hand it to Donald Trump, I didn’t think the sequel to the 1932 Great Emu War would be a trade war against the penguin nation but he truly continues to be an innovator in the stupidity industry

evangelicals being like "god made men to do This and be like This and women to do That and be like That that's just how it is" and it's just a picture of a white man and woman following traditional gender norms makes me so insane like you boring fascist fucks. god made 2 million species of beetles. god made whales, ducks, humans, and 1500 other species capable of same sex behavior. god made fish and amphibians that change sexes. god made more than 30 different intersex variations in human beings. god, in his infinite curiosity. wake up!!! fuck!!

"god wants women to have perfect no-makeup makeup looks and stay at home not talking back and upholding capitalism" god??? that guy who made lizards that shoot blood out of their eyes?? that guy who made salmon do whatever the fuck that is?? are you fucking crazy???

Trump has a "talent" of distracting from his failures with new failures, so I'm here to remind you of all of his greatest hits that are still relevant and ongoing:

  • Mishandled and lied about the deadly COVID pandemic, leading to millions of deaths worldwide and a million in the US
  • Launched an insurrection to stay in power after losing the 2020 election, including a false elector scheme and a violent riot on the Capitol. He pardoned the criminals he incited as soon as he started his second term.
  • Was found legally liable for rape in court.
  • Empowered the unelected Elon Musk to start illegally cutting funding to any and every government program he feels like based on a false claim of "efficiency".
  • Plans to ethnically cleanse Gaza to turn it into some fucked up resort. Removed the few guardrails the Biden administration put on Israel's conduct and urged them to "finish the job".
  • Betrayed Ukraine and hampered their defense efforts against Putin's invasion. Started planning the subjugation of Ukraine directly with Putin.
  • Unilaterally declared himself to have war powers to lock up and deport migrants with no due process. Has been keeping hundreds of Venezuelan migrants in a Salvadoran prison with no due process. Has openly defied multiple court orders to return them to the US
  • Has been illegally suppressing the free speech rights of anti-Israel protestors in universities by revoking their immigration status. Including kidnapping and detaining a protestor with no due process.
  • His administration officials have been holding high-level classified discussions on a public messaging app using their normal phones. Security was so lax one of them accidentally invited a journalist to such a discussion and none of them noticed.
  • And most recently: Started an unnecessary and extremely self-destructive trade war with basically the entire world, causing immense damage to the economy.

These are just the things I could remember off the top of my head. It doesn't include all the other fucked up stuff Republicans are doing. It also doesn't include any of his cabinet picks, all of which are awful and have and will cause damage with their conduct.

I forgot!

  • Had FOUR different criminal prosecutions against him: 1 for falsifying business records (which he was convicted of), 1 for stealing government secrets, and 2 for attempting to illegally overturn the results of the 2020 elections

Oh, and also:

  • Has been threatening American allies and sovereign nations with invasion and annexation, namely Canada, Greenland, and Panama.

I love ships where one of them desperately needs to hear they are loved and Good Enough i’m sure it means nothing about me lol

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

“Lemme tell ya, ‘Star Wars’ always had the vibe of being in the most whitest, elite space. It’s a franchise that’s so white that a Black person existing in [it] was something,” Boyega said in the documentary. “You can always tell it’s something when some ‘Star Wars’ fans try to say, ‘Well, we had Lando Calrissian and had Samuel L. Jackson!’ It’s like telling me how many cookie chips are in the cookie dough. It’s like, they just scattered that in there, bro!”

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saintsatellite-deactivated20240

i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

happy 10 year anniversay to Down With Cis

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