I can see both sides. I was more scrambling for ANY diagnosis so I could find my own nice neat box in the DSM and have some context/treatment/etc. I hear you being a bit hard on yourself though. I’ve had to come to terms with a lot… and just as my thyroid turned against me and had to be removed, my brain chemistry has turned against me in some ways and needs some support. No shame. Just bodily needs that change over time. They don’t define you, they may just be part of your story for a short or long while.
There’s a difference between saying “oh well, this is just me” and not trying to overcome the things that make life harder, versus acknowledging that sometimes we need help beyond what our own willpower can achieve. A diagnosis is something you can point to as someone else having seen the same struggles that you do, but sometimes it can hold too much weight where we see everything through it. I can have a good, energetic, planning-future-fun kind of day without being hypomanic. Or have a bad day without it being clinical. 😜
I’m still coming to terms with the fact that Adderall helps me SO MUCH. I hate the distinct difference on a day without it. I “should” be able to get it together. I’m smart, I work hard, I have resources… But then my brain chemistry changes a bit and I feel capable, competent, motivated, etc. Does it bug me that it “has to come from a pill”? Yes. Would it be better to withhold the help that my body needs in this stage of life and just struggle through it, making myself and everyone around me miserable? Well, no, as I’ve repeatedly discovered. 😂
Anyway, obviously we don’t know each other at all and I have zero context for your situation or self, but I relate and I’m rooting for you and the struggle is real!
