The strangest attitude I've ever seen on people about anything is when someone is aware that their situation is bad, and that other people have it better, and not only have their no intention to personally do anything to fix their situation, they'll actively fight you if you try to help them. They don't want their situation to get better. They just want you to feel bad about how bad they've got it.
So this is really interesting to me, because it feels it's a great example of one of the most basic misconceptions I've experienced in my life.
tl;dr: Maybe they're just venting. Maybe they just want sympathy. Maybe they just want validation that their assessment of their situation being bad is accurate or objective.
In more detail: I'm a fixer. I like fixing things. If you come to me and share a problem, I will try my best to fix it. I will offer solutions and I will try to brainstorm a way to offer support. That's how I show I care. It's wired into my brain. If someone I care about is suffering or in pain, and they communicate that to me, my instinctive reaction is to figure out how to help.
But it turns out that's not always what people want.
One of my dearest, closest friends vents a lot. She knows what the problem is, and she knows how to fix it, but in the, idk, step-by-step process of her brain to function, there's a clear step labeled "venting". She needs to communicate her problem verbally to someone, before she can actually do anything about it. She needs to explain what she's seeing and how and where. Plenty of times, she already KNOWS how to fix it, but she can't start the "fixing" subroutine until she completes the "venting" subroutine. She has to vent.
And she's made it very clear to me, how utterly infuriating and condescending it was to have her attempts to vent met with calls for action.
"My washer machine is broken," my friend would say, preparing to share the story of how it broke and how it made her feel, because she needs to verbalize the situation to be able to process it.
And then I would immediately jump in and go:
"Oh, we can buy a second hand cheap one in this bazaar."
Or,
"I can find the name of the guy who fixed my mom's washing machine for you."
Or,
"Did you get the extended warranty? If you did, you can just call and they'll take care of it."
And all of those would result in my friend's "venting" subroutine getting hung while she replied - awkward, thoughtless, deflecting answers, because she hadn't PROCESSED yet, so she couldn't really say anything for certain yet. And in turn I would continue to rattle out solutions every step of the way, because I took her objections to be aimed at my solutions specifically, not at my behavior over all.
We had a lot of fights, this friend and I. But one day we sort of... we clicked. One day she said "I'm not an idiot and you don't need to treat me like one, maybe I just wanted some sympathy from a friend, not to be made feel like an incompetent child over every thing that upsets me! It's very hurtful that you dismiss me that way."
I was floored. Completely flabbergasted. At no point had I considered that my attempts to help were harmful. This is a person I care about deeply and that I wanted to support, and I realized it was my self-centeredness that was not letting me see what she actually needed was diametrically opposed to what I was trying to give her.
And like, that's the thing, you know? I ask now. "Is this venting or is this asking for advice?" And if it's venting, I offer a sympathetic ear and we'll bitch together about the great evils of the world. And if it's advice, I'll let loose and scramble my brain to figure out how to fix it.
The thing is, there was nothing wrong with my friend. There still isn't. She's not wrong or broken or selfish or lazy or any of the unkind things people assume, when they encounter this particular misunderstanding. Her brain is wired differently from mine. That's all. It's not even that hard to accommodate for it, either. And she accommodates for me too.
the REAL tl;dr sometimes if you keep not getting the expected reaction, from your interactions with people, it's entirely possible you're misinterpreting the entire thing. And that's not necessarily anyone's fault, but if you can notice it and you see it happen over and over again... maybe speak up and try to clear things up?
Different people need different things, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.
Hi guys. This post ain't about stereotyping random professions (farriers????), it's about how cops are effectively legally untouchable and if they hurt you, you have virtually no recourse. A quality that none of those other professions have. It's the inherent power imbalance of being bound to someone who can't be prosecuted.
The "firemen cheat" thing is actually a myth, union workers are both hot and professionally stable, paramedics are stressed out but otherwise fine, physical workers are not inferior to "thinkers" don't be fuckin classist, and "watch out for Farriers" is maybe the funniest thing anyone's ever said on this post.
like the fuck are they gonna do lmao
Having beef with the horse cobbler is objectively hilarious
Yeah because beef is cows not horses
"WHAT IS THAT????
ITS THE UNKNOWN!"
Traumatised Daleks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I AM DYING XD
Joe Vevers YT channel is a gift to Dalek fans!
It is a JOY :D
There are so many laugh out loud moments here and in Groundhogamany of the Daleks ("NICK ITS ME BARBARA I'VE COME TO GET MY MONOPOLY BACK") and "Not my Daleks" ("ALERT! POLITICAL ANALOGY APPROACHING!")
And just in general
ITS SO SILLY AND FUN :D
black with low white spotting (this cat has vitiligo)
This cat looks like the starry night sky and none of us had big enough brains to foretell her coming. I am lost in wonder. Great cat.
@elodieunderglass is this in your realm?
What a great pattern!
On Transgender Day of Visibility, I got a message from Fran (@crazygnomenclature of Tiff and Eve) who was over the moon having just learned that a comic artist she’s a fan of was trans. The artist’s name didn’t come up at first, but when Fran said it was Dana Simpson, I was like, “Oh, DC Simpson, I know her! She made Ozy and Millie.”
I hadn’t kept up with her work in recent years, but back in high school (graduated HS in 2006 for a frame of reference), Dana was a god to me. Ozy and Millie was one of the webcomics in my usuals and I absolutely loved everything about it.
There was one storyline in particular that really stays with me today, when their school puts on a play… but not just any play, they put on… “The Story of Caulk”.
I mean, first off, that’s absolutely hilarious and I still giggle when I think about it. As an adult, I’ve caulked three bathtubs. I like to think that being introduced to caulk as a teenager prepared me for sealant based home maintenance later in life.
But that plotline also had some poignant messaging regarding gender and how kids interact with each other, and has massive value beyond its comedy.
And that’s kind of what Dana Simpson was for me back in high school. I’m not sure that I can find what she said at the time (or if it even is still online at all anymore), but I recall reading something she said about her comics being a way to create conversations about more serious issues that are otherwise difficult to get started. I believe she said that comics were a way to open a dialogue by slipping these issues “under the radar”.
Now, it’s been twenty years since then so I miiiiiiight be misattributing that, but I’m almost certain it was Dana who said it.
She got me thinking about a lot of things. It would still be about four or five years until I started my first comic strip, Corpse Run, but her work was a major part of the reason why I wanted to be a comic artist.
When she came out as transgender, she got me thinking more.
I knew I was queer, I knew I was questioning my gender, I knew that being transgender was a thing… but until she came out, there was no one in my sphere of life in any capacity that actually was trans.
Her coming out made me realize that this was a kind of self acceptance and love that I could practice. It took another decade and a half to eventually begin my transition, but without Dana, I’m not sure I ever get to where I’m at now.
She had that big an impact on me, and I’m forever grateful.
As a note on the second panel in this comic, there are many more folks that I’ve met and befriended in these last few months, and in the event you aren’t shown in that panel, I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t know, love, and appreciate you all. These are drawings that I already had on hand, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!
Folks in the second panel:
@maddiee-line - @kaylasartwork - @bubbleverseart - @lynnsenpai - @lariumbreon - @pennymations - @deadeyedfae - @haarlow - @cholerascum - @welldrawnfish - @paintedbytosia @biblicallyaccuratemoth - @crazygnomenclature (represented by Tiff and Eve)
THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FINISH THE PITCH BEFORE I TELL EM I’M IN
Recruiter: Hello, I'm with the Muppets and...
Me: Where do I sign?
I literally have fantasies where my only motivation for being famous is being invited to appear on Sesame Street.
The thing about that Doctor Who guy is that he knows his dad didn't create the Doctor, the companions, the show's premise, or the idea of the TARDIS. He just suggested that they make the TARDIS a police box (not even the idea of it being disguised, just that it be disguised as a police box) and came up with what the acronym TARDIS meant. And his dad was probably a member of the show's staff and not a freelancer when he came up with the police box idea so he would only own the meaning of the acronym (and they've changed what the acronym stands for slightly in future serials), plus the guest characters from the first script. He thinks his dad deciding what an acronym means this entitles him to ownership of all Doctor Who. It's like if the grandson of whoever wrote the first comic where Batman had a giant penny in the Batcave held that this made his granddad the sole owner of DC Comics
Ownership of characters etc. is really complicated for Doctor Who! Almost all the major recurring characters are owned by the BBC bc the producer came up with them but since most writers were technically freelance they retained ownership of concepts and characters introduced in their episodes. But that has a wrinkle to it, since they only own what's in their script. So the writer of the first Sontaran story owns the concept of the Sontarans & can use them in other works, but they have to be redesigned, because their look was invented by the BBC effects department. Anyway if the inventor of K9 has to redesign K9 to use the character in other shows because the rights are tangled enough that they don't own the character's appearance I kind of doubt owning an acronym entitles you to secret ownership of the entire series
What do you mean the first ever Doctor Who serial is now missing from official release bc the writer's son who inherited the rights cancelled them out of a vague revenge plot, either for not paying his dad enough in the 60s, or bc he's mad that they cast a woman and a black man as the Doctor
He also seems to think his dad created Doctor Who and that he owns the TARDIS as a concept now which. Okay
I can't stress enough that Anthony Coburn didn't create Doctor Who. He was assigned to write the first serial and obviously added things to that but he didn't come up with the idea. By TARDIS originator he literally means "he wrote the line where Susan makes up the name 'TARDIS'", which at least makes him the first person since 1963 to remember Susan made up the name TARDIS.
The weirdest part of this is that apparently he hates regeneration as a concept. He wants control over the show his dad didn't create so he can institute his dream of a Doctor Who where the Doctor always looks and dresses the same no matter who's playing him, or alternatively just died with Hartnell
"A person does NOT become another person" It's a show about a two-hearted alien traveling in a infinitely large phone box, and he thinks a character changing their wardrobe at different points in their life is too silly and hard to believe
It's wild that this guy, whose dad objectively did not create Doctor Who, has managed to keep Doctor Who's first serial off streaming for well over a year. And there's a lot to enjoy in this tale of a transphobic racist weirdo who pleads with Vladimir Putin to grant him asylum from BBC assassins. I just checked his recent posts, and it features screeds about 5G towers irradiating us, "globalists" planning a cull via vaccines, and full-throated support for Russia's invasion of Ukraine, so about what you'd expect, and also a post implying Hitler faked his death and moved to Britain in the 70s, which is more from left field. This guy is truly Making Doctor Who Great Again
But the best part of explaining this story, honestly, is getting to tell people that he thinks regeneration is absurd bc someone changing personality & wardrobe is nonsense. Something that changes for real life people during one lifetime and he thinks it strains credibility for someone to adopt a new style of dress after literally dying and being reborn. Man undergoing increasingly evident downward spiral can't parse the concept of personal growth and change
This poll is in response to a post I just saw about a Business Insider article, and it motivated me to conduct a little experiment if you would indulge me
Reblog to stray further from gods light, and also for science 🧪
A generation poll that remembers to include my generation, Generation X, is rare enough to reblog.
any time i hear the insufferable transphobic athlete arguments i think of that one time in middle school when my boys lacrosse team did a full-contact scrimmage against the girls team (who typically play with limited contact) and i, a six-foot, 180lb defender, got utterly laid-out by this 5-foot-nothing girl experiencing the newly-unleashed animosity accompanied by violent sport and as i looked up at my assailant from flat on my back i experienced a brief bout of heterosexuality and fell wildly in love and then had to be taken to the ER because i had a concussion
“from flat on my back i experienced a brief bout of heterosexuality” took me out
That was the concussion
I was a hockey goalie as a schoolgirl, and anyone who thinks girls are not naturally violent, underhanded, mean, and always ALWAYS ready to get in there and commit carnage has never met a teenaged girl in a team uniform with a sturdy weapon in her hands.
Feminism is the radical belief that women are people.
”Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do people energize you or drain you? Would you rather be at a party or a library?” Stop subscribing me to binaries. Social interaction is invigorating and makes my life better and I’m exhausted the whole time.
Please invite me to the function. I’ll be all tsundere about it
I enjoy social events with people I know, and then I need to sit quietly for a while.
Daphne fights Nazis
THERE IS A COMIC WHERE DAPHNE FROM SCOOBY DOO KARATE KICKS A NAZI
THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER :D
Sisu Mini-Review
Managed to catch Sisu on Netflix and overcame the ole decision paralysis to actually watch it, after hearing nothing but good things about it for the past three years. Gory, fun action movie that mainly acts as a vehicle for increasingly over the top set pieces involving our protagonist fighting the world's grimiest Nazis.
Plot is very simple: In 1944, the Nazis are retreating from Finland in the aftermath of the Lapland War, deploying a scorched earth policy destroying every town, village and bridge they come across as they attempt to flee into Occupied Norway.
Unfortunately for them, they decide to try and rob an easily disgruntled gold prospector, who is explicitly based on historically near unstoppable Simo Häyhä. Anti-fascist hilarity ensues.
Makes for an interesting companion piece to the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, another action film that uses historical figures as a basis for the story, although Ministry... is effectively an homage to the war films of the 1970s like the Dirty Dozen while Sisu is more of a direct vehicle for amusing anti-Nazi violence.
Anything that involves nazi's getting violently and brutally murdered gets a thumbs up from me
In real life or in fiction <3
