dandelion

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

Stop listening to folk punk

Yeah man you can smoke it

almost got me right in my Both Eyes!

Luigi Mangione could be getting the death penalty…

This man is innocent, his appearance and build doesn’t match that of the killers, the only “motive” he had was a convenient written confession showing that he supposedly viewed healthcare companies as “parasitic” and too expensive (which does somewhat contradict the actual killers actions) he had said note and the murder weapon conveniently on him while living his ordinary life, the killer held the gun in his right hand while Luigi is left-handed, Luigi and the Killer were potentially seen simultaneously, they wore slightly different coats.

The NYPD KNOW these are different people, they know the evidence is lacking, this isn’t a mistaken identity, it’s framing, they are trying to make themself appear to still be control by catching this man, humiliating him, killing him, when they know full well that the person they are prosecuting ISNT EVEN THE RIGHT GUY! This is an injustice! This is not a fair trial! This is downright tyranny!

They confiscated his bag at the mcdonald's, took it out of everyone's sight, unpacked it and repacked it, and THEN took it down to the station and wow there was a manifesto in there that he was just carrying around in daily life for some reason

Definitely the sort of thing that the Bag Of Monopoly Money Guy would be carrying to McDonald's

I’m so√﹀\_︿╱﹀╲/╲︿_/︺╲▁︹_/﹀\_︿╱▔︺\/\︹▁╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔╲▁︹_/﹀▔\⁄﹀\╱﹀▔︺\︹▁︿╱\╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔\︿╱\︿︹_/▔﹀\_︿╱▔︺\︹╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔\╱﹀╲▁︹_/﹀\_︿╱▔︺\︹▁︿⁄╲︿╱﹀╲

hey has anyone seen my potion that turns you into the dow jones

feels nice just to be wanted. even if it is for murder

I'm part of a wood carving club and there are a lot of dads who are dripping with adhd/autism vibes who's special interest is wood carving. One of the master skill level carvers who we'll call... Jim was working on a figure of a super heroine, who was frankly outrageously bodacious. Several women in the club are uncomfortable with this. They tell me they wish he wouldn't carve stuff like that at the club. This is understandable. I felt a bit uneasy too. I ask if they told him, and they say no.

This goes on for months. He's at a point where he's carving the folds of her skin tight suit. It's shockingly impressive. A real Giovanni Strazza with wood here. Many of the women in the club, (also boomers) have stopped talking to him because they're offended.

One afternoon I see a woman we'll call Karen approach him and have this conversation Her: Wow that is really starting to look like actual fabric. Him: Thanks! It's been a really fun challenge. Her: I bet! She sure is - a lot- huh? Him: Yeah a lot of these comic book characters are really outrageously proportioned! Her: They really are! You know, when I was carving a sign that was political in a way i knew would offend some people here, I just felt so much more comfortable carving it at home. Him: *nodding* Her: Okay? Him: Yeah I get that. Her: Yeah. Okay. Good luck with her!" *she walks off and he looks a little confused.* Next week at the meet up Jims working on it again and Karen's furious. Says to me "He said he wouldn't bring it back! So RUDE." So I go up to him and we have this conversation. Me: Hey Jim Him: Hey Neala Me: Some of the ladies around here are feeling a little uncomfortable with the figure you're carving because of her massive cartoon titties. Him: Ah shit, really? I thought they just thought it was funny. Me: Yeah folks laugh a lot when they're uncomfortable and trying to hide it. Him: Mm, yeah and I can never tell which laugh is which. Me: Me either Him: Well I won't work on this here anymore. I have other projects to do. Me: Hey thanks! I wanna see it when you're done tho so take a pic for me, okay? Him: Haha sure! I go sit down. Karen is shocked. Jim puts the figure away and works on a carving of a crane instead. He is not upset.

A week later I over hear Karen telling her friend I screamed at Jim last week.

Another event at the same club. All names fake. Even mine but u only know me by the fake name so

A carver who does a lot of work for the group comes in with a stunning leather bag. When I say a lot of work for the group, I mean a LOT a lot. He plans out monthly projects, makes the blanks for them and shows the rest of the club how to do the carvings. Lets call him Harold.

So I'm gushing over the bags, and so are a few others. He tells us he made these bags himself and that he's really gotten into leather working over the last year. Jim is complementary of the bags, and teasingly says "Woodcarving and now Leather? You know what they say? Jack of all trades, Master of none!"

Now this quote takes on a different meaning coming from someone who is literally a master skill level carver ways it to someone who is not. But he says it in a jokey way. Clearly meant to playfully rib. Thing is, I see the tightness in Harolds eyes when Jim says this. Having Adhd myself, I also hobby hop a lot and know how it feels to be teased about it. Maybe I was projecting as i flashed back to every time someone had told me to "Just stick with" something.

I say, "Go on Jim, finnish the poem!" In a playful way. Jim laughs and shrugs and says he didn't know there was more. I quote the whole thing, "Jack of all trades master of none but still always better than a master of one." Everyone laughs in a good-natured way, Harold visibly relaxes.

Later, Jim tells me i hurt his feelings. He says it felt like i was belittling him for only being good at one thing. I apologize and explain that he had inadvertently hurt my feelings and that I suspected he had hurt Harold's because it felt like he was saying we weren't good at anything because we have multiple hobbies.

He apologized and said he was feeling a little jealous that Harold is good at so many things, and all he's good at is woodcarving. He also went on to say that if Harold entered any of his carvings into any competitions, he would probably have the same rank as him. Harold just didn't do competitions.

At this point Harold overheard and thanked Jim for what he had said, and told him that he didn't enter competitions because as soon as he started doing that with the goal of achieving a certain rank the hobby stopped being fun for him and he no longer wanted to do it and internally I was like "Ahhh i also have pathologic demand avoidance! Me too."

And everything is fine now.

Nature documentary voice "Here we see the interaction between the autistic adult, who has had one special interest that has lasted his whole life, and some Adhd adults, who have collected many special interests over their lives. They are accidentally hurting one anothers feelings about it."

Tumblr is odd because you’ll see a mutual post something really profound like “the birds still sing for those who listen” and you see them 5 minutes later saying something like “need to be pegged.grilled cheese style”

@theshitpostcalligrapher "need to be pegged.grilled cheese style"

yeag

jegulus fic where james is a youtuber/streamer who does all sorts of pretty crazy pranks and people ADORE him because he's totally shameless.

one day he gets dared to crash a wedding and oppose it, pretending to be in love with either the groom or the bride.

and even though his editor (and bestest friend) remus told him that that's fucking insane, james still chose to do it bc he's a menace. but he does promise to cut it all off if things get messy.

james gets everything ready and, after stalking some of his old school classmates, he finds that one of them is attending a wedding (it's mulciber, who james remembers to despise back then, so it's a win-win situation), which means his plan is all set.

by fate, and fate only, this wedding is regulus' and some girl's his parents chose for him (and mulciber was invited bc his family is very close to the black's)

and obviously, this is a clear forced marriage, regulus would rather kill himself than marry a girl, he's as gay as they come.

[for sake of the plot, sirius and james don't know each other at all, didn't go to school together either, and sirius didn't run away and is also livid with his parents for marrying reg off, but there wasn't anything he could do]

so! prank day, james is live the moment he, very dramatically, stands up and proclaims his love for this.... regulus guy, and how he knows he promised to not come but he just couldn't handle the thought of the love of his life being married to someone else (his followers thought he was going to claim to love the bride, but james found the groom way too cute and he just couldn't hold himself back, he's just a guy)

the 30 seconds of pure silence and shock that follow are almost enough to make james break character and start laughing like crazy.

regulus, who's flabbergasted by the way, knows immediately that it's a prank. however, this might as well be a sign of the gods, because, what are the chances that this (very handsome) random man, chose HIS wedding out of all, and targeted HIM to be the one he "loves"? way to many coincidences.

also, did he mention the dude is unbelievably fit?

he makes a choice right there.

using all his acting abilities, he makes a whole scene tearing up and running to him. it's so well done, james for a second believes they are actual lovers.

hell breaks at that moment, walburga goes absolutely nuts along with orion and their side of the family. the bride's family start a fight, and between the commotion regulus sees his brother laughing maniacally after their mother yells at regulus to stop playing games or he will get disowned.

james, who thinks that this is now along the lines of things getting messy, is about to announce it's all a prank, when regulus sees right through him, panics, and just whispers "im going to kiss you now, sorry" before snogging the life out of him.

remus, who's the camera guy, cuts the live right there.

james, oh james, he doesn't quite hear the screech walburga lets out because this backfired so bad, but jesus chirst can this regulus kiss. this is love at first sight. love at first prank, if you may.

regulus knowing stuff is about to get bad, just grabs james' hand and runs for it. james just follows, he's dizzy. remus also follows because he's NOT getting involved in all that, he's actually quitting james.

sirius follows too, if his little brother is finally disowned, there's no reason to stay, thank you very much.

anyways, this whole idea was just because i want james followers to see his channel thumbnails going:

CRASHING A RANDOM WEDDING 💍 PRANK #56

to

how i met the love of my life ; Q&A

and

REG AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED (im sealing all entries so no-one can crash it) — VLOG

bye

they worms have gotten in my brain

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

#you gotta be more specific man#Hobbits are specifically famous for two Really Long Walks

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

something about that one narrow staircase in Spadina station is deeply haunting to me, what do we think?

I think if those fluorescent lights flicker even one time I'm gonna invent teleportation and clip through the wall Bethesda-style at the same time and the noises will NOT be dignified

#I'm getting those stairs pregnant#stairs

bruh

We've had nearly three thousand votes since this morning HOW is the vote still so fuckin even what the hell

anyone else have the crippling urge to want a jason grace funko pop bc I fucking do

Oh man I can't believe I forgot. You know that post that was like "tell me what clothes you've bought because of a character" or whatever. I searched for ages to find an adequate white cable knit sweater because of Ransom's in knives out.

It's a good sweater

I'm putting this here bc I feel like it's information everyone needs. You can find it here.

I don't knit but that's hilarious because this looks like such a complicated pattern for a beginner

raidcore

Once on IMDB I saw a “goof” which was that during a scene set in India(?), the light flicker was at the wrong frequency (in hertz). I wish I knew what movie it was to show you guys, I want to say it was some Marvel shit.

I always wondered how this person knew that. Was there an amazing Indian electrician who just instinctively felt the flicker rate was off? Did they go frame by frame and count the flickers per second?

I wanna say that was Tenet?

It was The Bourne Supremacy @garbage-empress​

holy fuck

*punching propane tank in a video game*

“no way! I fill these for a living.”

I will always be in love with highly specialized incredibly niche knowledge. Humans are beautiful