centuries-old soup traditions

[AdventurersWiki, WorldTavern chatroom, 32nd century, year of the crystal choir, in the month of ambush, 20th night; a Thursday]

ShadowMage69: So ... is the world saved or what?

0verWitch: Looking at the feedback surveys, I'd say the world is 72% saved.

ShadowMage69: 72%? What does that mean?

Living!Sword: Aggregate saved level. Based on level of specific active threats & ambient injustice. An imperfect measure, but we like the numbers.

0verWitch: Gotta get a good grade in Hero.

RangerInShadow: if you consider a b- a good grade ;)

0verWitch: Average saved % across a ten-year window is 60.3%. This is a good day.

ShadowMage69: Sry, I'm new to this. We beat the Prime Witch, right? How is the world not saved?

RangerInShadow: World don't stay saved, newbie.

0verWitch: The expose on Prime Minister Matthews (aka Prime Witch) and his subsequent deposing resulted in a 12% bump. Possibly rising to 15% based on resolution of subsequent power vacuum.

ShadowMage69: 12%??? He wanted to eat the soul of the dark web, ascend to godhood and put chains around the sun. That's a world-ending threat! I had to teleport his Lich President into the Mariana Trench! :p

0verWitch: That was one of three (3) reported solar-scale threats curtailed this month. Albeit, the most advanced and high profile. 12% is significant on a worldwide scale.

Living!Sword: & it represents a lot of lives saved. A lot of lives improved. That is a win that cannot be measured on our limited metrics. Please see the 'Flowers & SwtNothings' subchat for a plethora of qualitative testimonials.

['ExclamationMarkSeraph' has entered the chat]

ExclamationMarkSeraph: Apols for interrupt, chummers. Got a quest hook. Neighbourhood-level, but high urgency. Family on wrong side of local town militia.

0verWitch: What's the high urgency hook?

ExclamationMarkSeraph: Family member is a nascent City Avatar (name translates as 'Spires That Snatch The Sunlight'). High potential for divine escalation. Needs a mentor profile.

RangerInShadow: I gotcha, bud. Sliding into your DMs.

['RangerInShadow' has left the chat.'ExclamationMarkSeraph' has left the chat.]

ShadowMage69: Huh. 'World don't stay saved'.

0verWitch: Some days it stays 72% saved :)

Living!Sword: I have seen worlds that stay saved. There are no mortal beings who live in them. We accept a world that is 'saved enough'.

0verWitch: A solid B Minus world.

Living!Sword: A world that is fine, thanks.

ShadowMage69: A 'cromulent' world.

0verWitch: Cromulent?

ShadowMage69: s'on my daily word calendar. Means, 'acceptable, satisfactory, or valid', but in like ... a [jester-face emoji] way.

Living!Sword: What do you think, 0W? Is the world cromulent?

0verWitch: Maybe cromulish.

Living!Sword: It is not so much cromu-lent, as cromu-borrowed.

0verWitch: I don't plan to return it.

ShadowMage69: cromu-stolen, then?

Living!Sword: That is indeed the job. To heist an acceptable world. Stealing dawn from uncertain dusk.

0verWitch: That's why we need the wiki, after all. It takes a village (sic: world) to raise a tomorrow.

---

With thanks to Ku for suggesting the word "cromulent".

A challenging word to pun! There is an alternate draft about a wizard called CROM who ran a loan shark business (CROM, you lent...).

Want to suggest words/puns to feature in my stories? Become a supporter on Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories

as promised, Shadow wears a cutesy dress: the comic :3

(Don't pay too much attention to the dialogue or story here, this comic was just an excuse to draw Shadow in a dress LOL)

up next is. uhhh... what did Sonic do now? who knows!

Everyone on 4/13, crawling out of their secret homestuck bunkers,

people might think creating OC lore involves a lot of thinking & planning, but in my personal experience, OC development is more like a divine vision from a god slamming you over the head with a mallet while ur doing the fuckin dishes or folding laundry

Was looking for a book today when I saw these various animal books all on the same shelf and noticed their titles made a nice little impromptu poem about veterinary medicine

Nobody has mentioned this but I am so glad you did! I’ve never heard of spine poetry and I love the concept. I found these titles at a used bookstore that stacks books pretty freely so I will most definitely be scanning the spines for poetry every time I go

when you go to bed significantly earlier than usual, a little menu should pop up asking if you want Wake Up Early or More Sleep. and then you should get what you requested. that's my human body UI improvement for the day.

Favorite genre of image ever

Oh, uh. I guess I should mention that I’ve made this thing. Three months after release sounds like a perfect time. Untitled Tile Painter is a quirky little drawing tool that lets you lay down funky geometric Bauhaus-inspired patterns. It’s 50% a useful thing for actual people and 50% me wanting to stretch my UMG muscles on something. It’s also a little bit like a control panel of an alien spaceship, as far as UX goes. Give it a go, if it looks like your kind of thing! It’s entirely free and all generated images are yours to keep and use as you see fit.

holy shit this is incredible

RIP Inspector Javert, you would have made a great corporate prosecutor

your belief that there is a certain class of entities that are inherently wicked and will always seek to break the law for their own benefits was not entirely wrongheaded, you just had the bad luck to be born before the advent of Fortune 500 companies

I just think that a man who could chase one minor felon across twenty plus years and multiple cities would be perfectly suited to chasing a trail of money through multiple shell companies as a board tries to duck criminal prosecution through bankruptcies while retaining the assets within the parent zaibatsu

He would be so enriched

#I do get VHs point wrt to who javert considers to be *criminal* but I think it’s funny if god says nope buddy you got to try this one again#he jumps off the bridge and gets isekai-ed sopping wet onto Madison Avenue clutching a Juris Doctor mysteriously earned in 1985 - via @mephist0phallus

Everyone say thank you women with deep low pitched voices

every moment of your life, from birth to death, constantly, while you aren't looking, there's some kind of weird shapes just moving around in the ocean. and the shapes are eating eachother sometimes too. and they might even dig holes. and all of this is happening during everything else that's going on. like think about the most important moment in your life. the thing that shaped you as a person. the entire time that was happening, far away, deep in the ocean, where no human has ever seen, there was some kind of wet sack with a weird protrusion flailing about in the water. maybe it even grabbed a fish. who knows. i don't. just think about that for a bit

attention this is your captain speaking chag sameach pesach to all celebrating and a reminder do not open the airlock to greet elijah the vulcan rabbinic council ruled that opening the door to the room where the seder is occurring is sufficient elijah can get on a starship just fine himself he just likes to be personally invited in to your seder we dont need another incident like last year thank you

only real thursdayheads know what day it is today

americans: pssshh you think 80°F is hot???? i'm from big texas this is nothing kid, i might put a coat on actually

europeans: wdym 10°C is cold???? this is shorts weather bro, when you start pissing crystals then we'll talk

unattended raspberries: i went moldy while you were reading this