shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

anyway more addittions

Don't forget "and then everybody clapped" for calling "fake" on a heartwarming story about getting to put someone in their place with a sick burn

Big day for deranged evangelical freaks

I know, intellectually, that modern american christianity has absolutely nothing to do with the ideal concept of the church - but there is quite literally something in the bible about not doing this. Like this exact precise thing. This is an idol that is detracting worship from the lord.

wouldn't it be so cool if we built the golden calf from famous bible story "Don't Build The Golden Calf"

Anyway here's Narou from hit song For Dear Life drawn in the album art for HAPPYPILLS by Utsu-p

Okay okay okay so I’m changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this

So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesn’t come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit

So I’m at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.

Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and she’s in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure I’ll start there.

So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going

And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.

like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.

So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in… at like 06:15.

THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.

So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And I’m kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.

At about 08:30ish she disappears.

Doesn’t leave. Doesn’t head to a bathroom. Doesn’t take her coat off. Her trail just stops.

Now, I’ve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and it’s hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.

Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.

My guys.

Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.

She’s popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, she’s out somewhere I didn’t think she could even GET to. I’ve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and she’s like… doing some Tokyo Drift shit.

I don’t know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.

I’ve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.

Fuck me, I’m taking a lunch break

This is barely an exaggeration

i initially only wanted to do an but the urge to use the akito 1★ meme was too strong. also. from what ive seen wl isnt going so great 😭😭

Winter has arrived on Poob.

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Keep 'Em Guessin'

You gotta (Rick)roll with the punches if you wanna follow me.

Out of curiosity rb and put in the tags how many fics come up when you type your last name into ao3. Apparently even though my last name is uncommon there's like 500

Fake rare last name havers when real ones come at them LOL

having thoughts about characters: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍💕💕🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💞💓💓💝💞🩷💓💝💞💝💘💞💝😁😁😁🥰🥰🫶

putting those thoughts into words: 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎🤬🤬🤬👺🤬😪😢🙁😭😨☹️👿👿👿☹️☹️⛈️⛈️😖😖👺👺👺👺

Happy World Rat Day from Monty, Bosco, Squid, and Pickpocket 🌎🐀

april fool