@gina-porters / gina-porters.tumblr.com

β€” kill me again. show me the only way you know how to love.
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eddie from bucks perspective is literally like. he’s the most beautiful guy in the world he’s shining like the sun he keeps me sane and i’d die without him. and buck from eddie’s perspective is like he’s the only person who can and/or will help me everything about my life is better and easier when he’s around he’s my guy forever and also i’d die without him.

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buck not letting eddie give in to his insecurity about the job. buck not letting eddie talk himself out of his decision to move. buck holding eddie accountable for lying to chris and taking into account how chris must be feeling but also reminding him that all he needs is his dad. and that's exactly why he's eddie's partner in life and always will be, because he will never fail to consider what's best for both eddie AND christopher and to help them get there.

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Bobby told this captain I’d always have a job at the 118. You think that’s true, or was he just saying that? You’re thinking of coming back? Don’t worry, you’re not getting kicked out of the house. I may need your couch, though. But what about Christopher? At least when I was there, I could send him some money. And be a firefighter. Which is the only thing I know he’s proud of me for. Hey, come on, that’s not true.

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sickening that the last shots of eddie in L.A. were him in his cut-out tank top smiling Like That. so bright and unrestrained despite the pain of leaving. just a pure expression of love and fondness. a glimpse of the joy buck brings out in him. the joy that he thinks he has to give up to get his son back. sickening that leaving felt like a choice to him. because he doesn't think he can or crucially that he deserves to have both of them. barely even thinks he deserves to have one of them. sickening that now he's in el paso shrinking himself down doing penance through the rooms of his parents' house so he can at least be deserving of christopher. because he thinks this is the only way. no trace of the man smiling in the cut-out tank top. he left him standing in the rain on south bedford street. because he can’t have both.

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