I am Gourd and I am 1/2 of SlopCauldron

Imperial collapse speed run

over tourism is ruining the beach that makes you old

it doesn't even make you that old anymore.

last time i went i saw a baby there. that shouldn’t even be possible

how it feels to be in your 20s and getting sent TikTok videos from your friends but you don’t have a TikTok and it just redirects you to the Apple download page for it.

wow how awesome

Has anyone else been noticing that like every post has been getting marked as mature lately? What the hell is going on

My little posts. All grown up ;-;

I like how the lack of spacing here implies that the helpline is there for those addicted to eating raw flour, dough, or batter, like a gambling helpline or something

I fucking love that big feet bird that has a random word over it.

Behold, my collection

And my favorite one

I offer an addition.

NASA advertising "do you want to be an astronaut" to tumblr users surely means something. What have you found out there, NASA? What have you found that you believe tumblr users, specifically, are best equipped to handle?

gotta include the bonus panel

Northernlion Voice: Maybe I'm insane for this one but; one week of good sleep with three meals a day and moderate exercise. Shit kinda goes crazy.

Walmart is out here charging 5 dollars for a pool noodle.

me leaving the walmart with a shoplifted pool noodle up my ass

me and my sudowoodo after he gets a critical hit

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

chuckles darkly