Pinned
i made this blog because i wanted a place for gray aces to feel safe and understood, where we can discuss our thoughts, learn, make cool stuff, connect with each other, explore and celebrate our gray asexuality - because it deserves to be celebrated! 💜
other acespecs, allies, and questioning people are also welcome!
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
definitions
- gray asexual (graysexual) - in the gray area between asexual and allosexual. may feel sexual attraction rarely, at a low intensity, or only under very specific circumstances. there is no single way to be gray ace, and it's a very flexible term.
gray aces tend to feel like we don't fully belong in or relate to either camp, which can be pretty isolating. we're extremely underrepresented and often misunderstood.
the gray ace flag
the asexual flag can also be used by gray aces - in fact, the gray stripe in the ace flag is there to represent us.
i also wanna spotlight this gray ace flag made by @the-cactus-taco. just look at it. it's everything i want in a pride flag.
other acespec identities i post about:
- demisexual - only able to experience sexual attraction to people with whom one has a deep interpersonal bond, otherwise being asexual
- aegosexual - describes a disconnect between one's self and one's sexuality, enjoying the concept of sex at a distance (often through fiction) but having no desire to participate
the demisexual and aegosexual flags
- aceflux - asexuality is constantly in flux, changing over time, possibly (but not necessarily) going from ace to allo and anything in between
three versions of the aceflux flag
- orchidsexual - feeling sexual attraction, but not wanting to have sex or sexual relationships
- cupiosexual - not feeling sexual attraction, but wanting to have sex or sexual relationships. as you can see, these two are pretty much direct opposites.
- caedsexual - acespec due to trauma. asexuality isn't typically caused by trauma, but it can be.
the orchidsexual, cupiosexual, and caedsexual flags
there are many more acespec identities, and some of them will also pop up on this blog.
💫 black stripe asexuals are, in essence, the opposite of gray aces: they are aces who don't experience any sexual attraction at all (as the black stripe on the asexual flag stands for absense of attraction.)
💫 i explain dark gray ace and light gray ace here
💫 sex favorable, sex repulsed, sex averse, sex indifferent, and sex ambivalent describe one's personal feelings about either sex in general or specifically having it. (contrary to the stereotype, not all aces are sex repulsed; plenty enjoy sex for reasons other than sexual attraction.)
sex positive and sex negative do NOT mean the same things! these describe ideological positions: are sex and sexuality inherently shameful, impure, and immoral? should we punish certain kinds of people for having certain kinds of sex?
you can be sex repulsed and sex positive, and you should be. ultimately, sex positivity and ace acceptance go hand in hand.
💫 grayphobia is a term i made up because i didn't have other language to describe what i was seeing. it means prejudice specifically against gray aces, as well as demisexuals, sex favorable aces, and all acespecs who don't fit into the "0 sexual attraction, 0 interest in sex" model. grayphobia can come either from allos or from self-described "real" asexuals.
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
symbols
card suits: because asexual often gets shortened to ace, aces often use playing card symbolism. the generally accepted meanings are as follows:
♠️ ace of spades - aroace, but often it is also used more generally for all aces
♥️ ace of hearts - alloace
♣️ ace of clubs - gray ace
♦️ ace of diamonds - demi ace
ace rings: a black ring on the right middle finger can signify asexuality.
dragons are associated with asexuality, but i could not tell you why.
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
about the mod
- my name is kris
- i'm 24
- he/him to cis people, he/she to everyone else, and fae/faer to anyone who's feeling whimsical
- gray ace / demisexual / aceflux, sex ambivalent, alloace
- genderqueer / bigender boygirl (also mushroomgender, mossgender, & fairygender)
- bi gaybian
- theoretically a switch
- russian (white, very anti war; i speak russian, english, and a bit of spanish)
- bpd + adhd + in remission
- single as hell
- main is @gardeninthevoid - i reblog a lot of good omens, pretty art, mlp:fim, fairycore, and posts abt mental health and social issues, among other things
💖 i also run @@alloace-space as of recently! if you're any kind of acespec and alloromantic, come request to join! 💖
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
tag system
i made a separate post detailing the way i tag stuff so that it's easier for anyone to get around the blog and find what they need. here it is. i tag very meticulously and honestly i'm pretty proud of it!
posts made by me are tagged #og post.
anon signatures already taken: 🃏 🐇 🩸
💜 things i encourage you to do:
- send asks - on theme or not; if you don't want to see random asks unrelated to the blog theme, the tag to block is #kris answers
- ask "dumb" or "weird" questions
- tell me about your experiences
- ask me to make glitter texts! examples here
- request "this acespec thinks x is hot" posts: here is an explanation of what that is; here are all the posts made so far
- send submissions
- @ me in things
- ask me to tag triggers*
- call me out if i say something shitty
*i will not tag discussions of sex, so if those make you uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't follow. i do tag truly explicit stuff as '#nsfw' so block that if you need to. discussions of kink are tagged '#kink' if you need to filter that out, and there's a more specific '#tw cnc'
i closed dms on this blog (it was getting overwhelming), but you can send an anonymous ask or reach me on my main
⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺
🗡 i used to have a dni type thing here, but then i thought it would be more productive to just tell you what this blog stands for.🛡
- i am a radical inclusionist. exclusionists and gatekeepers of any kind are not welcome here. you have no right to decide who is and isn't allowed in queer spaces.
- gray asexuals are asexual. asexuals are queer.
- i am an intersectional, aggressively trans inclusive feminist.
- i am sex positive. kink belongs at pride.
- bi & pan solidarity
- being trans does not require dysphoria, gender conformity, or being palatable to cis people. nonbinary and genderqueer people are trans enough.
- trans men are discriminated against on the basis of being trans men. transandrophobia is a useful word to describe that.
- the split attraction model should not be gatekept or reserved for aspec people only.
- bi and mspec lesbians and gays have always been here and are staying. this also goes for lesbians who are men.
- i do not consider things like transage, transrace, transabled and paraphilias to be queer identities.
- ACAB
- cancel culture is a real thing and it is harmful. there is no such thing as morally acceptable bullying.
- i don't do fandom discourse. don't bother.
