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Discourse Blog

@greenevergreens

Adult | Bisexual, Trans man, AroAce-Spec | Previously Known as Throwinglampshades

About me!!

Heyo, it's me ya boi Greeny. I used to go by Throwinglampshades, but deleted that blog to just take a break from discourse, but I am back bby!!  I'm in my mid 20s. I’m a Trans Male, Bi, AroAce-Spec. I’m Autistic, and have ADHD. 

My Beliefs (to name a few but not all, in no particular order): Pro-Choice, Anti-Death Penalty, Pro-LGBT rights, Pro-Gun Control, Pro Housing first initiatives, Anti-Facist, Leftist, Anti-Racist, There is no LGB without the T, Battleaxe bisexual, antitheist & atheist, Trans med, anti mogai.

I don’t really do DNI’s in that I don’t believe that giving a list of folks/beliefs I don’t want to interact with me is going to do shit to make them not interact with me. With that being said, if you disagree on the beliefs listed, we won’t get along, so just block me.

If there's something I said that you disagree with, and you want to have a civil conversation about it, I might be down to talk, but remember no one owes you a response, and I often prefer to block rather than have the same conversation for the umpteenth time, which will end as they practically all have. With me having wasted my time, and one or both of us blocking the other, and no opinions having been changed. 

Always funny to me when forced birthers say, "but your mother chose life! What if she hadn't!?" like if we mean hadn't as in had chosen to abort, I wouldn't care because I wouldn't fucking be here, that's what abortion does dummy, ends a pregnancy. How tf am I going to give a shit about being aborted if I'm aborted.

I don't care if my mom had aborted me. I love my mom with all my heart and I wouldn't dare wish to force her to go through with a pregnancy she doesn't want, or isn't safe for her (medically or externally). My mom's pregnancy with me was healthy, and besides a surprise c-section I was delivered healthy as well, but if things had been different, and her being pregnant with me could have killed her, or put her in danger, or if she just didn't have the resources to properly take care of me, I'd want her to do what she felt was best, up to and including aborting me.

Also like yeah she CHOSE to keep me, she CHOSE not to get an abortion, that's the key fucking word here. I am happy my mom had the choice to keep me instead of being forced to do so by idiots who think a woman can hold in her period or that a hymen is some fucking 'keep fresh seal' that proves virginity.

Hell, I also don't think laws should be made by people who think virginity is a real. Virginity is made up, it's no more important than your snowboarding virginity, or your gardening virginity, it doesn't change shit about you.

When forced-birthers say shit like "oh that's [indicating the fetus] the babies body and this [indicating the pregnant woman] is YOUR body, haha it's not your body it's not your choice!!"

Like you idiot, you baboon, you absolute fucking imbecile, where is that baby growing IF NOT IN HER BODY?!?! Therefore, only she should get a say on what does or does not grow inside their body.

If the baby was growing in a test tube, you might have a leg to stand on, but it's not. It's growing inside someone, someone who can feel pain, who has a life, who deserves the most basic human right to control her own body and what does or doesn't grow inside it.

It's also funny because in those diagrams, there's no way to circle the pregnant lady without acknowledging that the fetus is growing INSIDE of her, her body, which she deserves the basic human right to control.

Idgaf if YOU would never get an abortion, that's not what this is about. You, too, should have the right to choose to keep a pregnancy.

Friendly reminder that intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!

Intrusive thoughts do NOT reflect the thoughts, feelings, beliefs or wants of the person suffering from intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are INTRUSIVE, and UNWANTED.

Impulsive thoughts DO reflect the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and wants of the person experiencing the impulsive thought. Impulsive thoughts are just IMPULSIVE (just popping into your head), and at least on some level WANTED. This doesn't always mean the person has intent to act on the thought, simply that it aligns with their feelings, thoughts, beliefs and wants.

Daily fucking reminder that Luigi Mangione is innocent, completely and fully. He has been convicted of no crime. He has had no fair trial. He is a SUSPECT. Luigi Mangione is entirely innocent and everyone needs to stop parroting this insidious propaganda that he “committed” the crime he is only SUSPECTED of. He is not a murderer. He is not a criminal. He is an innocent man.

Put this out about Luigi Mangione.

"All autistics have low empathy" - This statement is wrong.

"Autistics having low empathy is a MYTH, we actually have HIGH empathy!" - This statement is ALSO wrong.

Autistics can have low empathy, they can have high empathy, they can have learned empathy. The myth would be that all autistics only experience one end of the empathy spectrum.

In spreading around misinformation that autistics actually have high empathy, you are disregarding the autistics who do have low empathy. And vice versa.

If the only reason you behave is because you're worried about going to hell, you aren't a good person, just a bad person on a leash.

The same goes if you're only good so you can get into heaven, you aren't a good person, you're only doing it for a reward, not because you care about what's moral or not to do.

Obviously, if you aren't either type of person I just described, this post isn't about you.

Now I'm not saying there's nothing that can be done to better the situation, but that even with all the tips and tricks in the world, you can't hack your way out of bad brain chemistry.

No matter what tricks I use, I can't DIY my way into a brain that works the way everyone else's does. I can take medication, work on what works for me, but those don't fix it, they help though. I need people to understand that.

It's sort of like the difference between someone who doesn't need mobility aids and someone who does. The person who doesn't need mobility aids gets around just fine, and the person who does need mobility aids will get around better than they would if they didn't have said mobility aids, but mobility aids don't make the person able-bodied, it doesn't allow them to function and get around at the same level of ease as someone who doesn't need mobility aids, and although mobility aids allow them to get around easier, and overall improves their quality of life, they are still not able-bodied. They're still disabled.

I think neurotypical people and non-chronically ill people in general are so used to medication and treatments being cures, that they struggle to stop and acknowledge that that's not always the point of medications, and other treatments.

Sometimes a medication or treatment is for symptom management and isn't and can't be a cure, because there isn't one, not yet, and there may never be a cure. Sometimes symptom management is the best we can get.

ADHD medication isn't something that will allow the person to magically stop needing ADHD medication. ADHD medication doesn't cure ADHD, it just allows the person to function better with ADHD. In the same way that mobility aids don't exist to cure the person and allow them to function and get around without mobility aids. Mobility aids exist to make the life of the disabled person even just slightly easier.

sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.

it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.

it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.

it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.

it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.

i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.

Literally though, and it's kinda infuriating to me when people get defensive when you acknowledge that autism is a disability and by extension is disabling. It's a fact, not a judgment.

I wish everybody that thinks behavioral euthanasia shouldn’t be a thing because ‘every dog deserves a home’ a very hope you never go through the trauma of having a dog that has dangerous and unfixable behavioral issues :)

Exactly.

I also wish people understood that BE isn't just about the safety and well-being of the owner/s of the dog, but also the quality of life of the dog.

A dog that can't be let out of a muzzle for literally any reason without risking the life of the owner of the dog, doesn't have a good quality of life.

If a dog has to be kept inside practically 24/7 because if it gets out, it will try to attack any dogs or people it sees, doesn't have a good quality of life.

A dog that is so stressed, scared or who's neurological condition is so severe that it can't be housed with any other dogs, and can't have any person interact with it without risking the lives of all involved, does not have a good quality of life.

Not to mention, a lot of the "solutions" people give to avoid BE just aren't realistic.

"Rehome them!!" - No one is going to want to adopt a dog that has a SEVERE bite history. No one is going to want to adopt a dog that has killed other pets it's lived with, and NO ONE is going to want to adopt a dog that has almost killed a person.

"Just don't tell them the history!!" - If you rehome a pet and intentionally lie about their severe history of aggression, you are directly at fault when that dog kills someone.

"Shelters exist!!" - Owner surrenders are euthanized first. Let me repeat that OWNER SURRENDERS ARE EUTHANIZED FIRST. No, it doesn't matter that your dog is dog, kid, cat, friendly. It doesn't matter if your dog is so incredibly well-trained, that it's won gold at tournaments. SHELTERS ARE BURSTING AT THE SEAMS, a dog surrendered by its owner, doesn't have anyone looking for it, it doesn't have an owner anymore. They can't euthanize a dog that may still have an owner searching for it. So when euthanizations have to happen, dogs without owners, are the first to go, sometimes they're even euthanized the same day.

So let's think about this, if well-behaved, friendly, well-trained, sweet and loving dogs that are surrendered to a shelter are euthanized the same day they're surrendered, what makes you think they're going to keep a dangerous, unpredictable, violent dog that can't be roomed with another dog without killing it.

"What about no-kill shelters!?" - No kill shelters have finite space, so even if we were talking about a well-behaved dog, they can't accept every single pet that comes in. They just don't have the space. Now include the fact that this dog is dangerous to both the other animals in this shelter's care, but also all the volunteer's that work in the shelter, there's no way they're bringing that dog in.

"There's someone out there who can take care of the dog!!" - Yes but actually no. There are people out there who are far more equipped to deal with a dog with harmful, or troublesome behavior. However, I can almost guarantee you, there aren't enough to go around, and again EVEN IF there were, we're still back at the original problem. What kind of quality of life does an animal have that can't be let outside, can't be played with, can't be unmuzzled, and is CONSTANTLY so stressed or afraid that it sees EVERYONE as a threat, and lashes out as a result.

-=-

The fact of the matter is, sadly, not all dogs, not all pets can be saved, and sometimes attempting to save a dog, does far more harm than euthanizing it.

It's sad, it sucks, it's awful, but it's life. I really do wish we lived in a world where behavioral euthanasia wasn't ever needed, that all dogs could live out their days in a warm, loving house with full bellies and lots of room to run around and play in. But that's not the world we live in.

I dont get why neurotypical would rather hear bullshit sugarcoated pr seek than a human honesty from the heart, I got a job interview and when asked why I want to work there I said "Well I need money, I have three cats to feed and I'm starving every month. I want to buy hololive merch too and your company is kind enough to offer me the interview. So why not?." My friend said that was a disaster answer.

WHAT?! I'M BEING HONEST!

Same, it's also infuriating trying to figure out what NT's want us to lie about vs what they don't want us to lie about. Then there's the degree of 'acceptable' untruth.

Am I supposed to lie through omission and say that (for example, in a job interview), I want to work at this bookstore because I love to read and would love to help customer's find their new favorite book, but leave out that this would also be a far better paying job than the other offers I got?

Or am I supposed to mostly lie, but sprinkle in some truth, or am I just supposed to make shit up!?!

I hear all the time about people lying on their resume, and I don't get it, like what if they want proof?! What if they call me out on it!?! What if I actually have to do the thing I lied about being able to do, and now they and all my coworkers know I'm a liar and don't trust me when I tell the truth!?!?

It's also just so confusing to me, in the sense that, why would I want to lie to someone if I can just not!? I mean yeah I will and have lied when doing so kept myself or others safe. However, if telling the truth doesn't put myself or anyone else in harms way, why would I want to lie?

Especially with job stuff, because it all seems pretty clear that we all know that people lie on their resumes, and that they seemingly lie in interviews, so why do people still insist on doing it?!!? I can't imagine the interviewers aren't aware of the lying, why can't we just all agree to be honest?!?!

Also speaking of interviews, I CANNOT STAND when interviewers ask questions that they don't actually want the answer to, because they're hoping you'll pick up that they actually want to ask X instead. BUT, I am apparently not supposed to actually answer question X because they'll use that to discriminate against me.

I don't know, I just can't stand the roundabout way of questions and answers that a lot of NTs have.

Now, I can understand how people might see it as enabling. But the focus of harm reduction is to accept that you can’t force someone to get or stay clean. You can physically put someone in a situation (rehab, jail/prison) where they can’t easily access their DOC (drug of choice), however that doesn’t mean they CAN’T access their DOC it often only means it’s harder. And two, it doesn’t guarantee in any capacity that they won’t immediately go back to using when they get free, or that they won’t find a way to get a hold of their DOC while in that restrictive environment.

Harm reduction focuses on keeping someone alive and healthy, if they choose to get clean or not. I’m not saying I think it’s a good choice to stay on drugs for the rest of your life, but I’d rather someone live years doing drugs, but stay alive, then have them die in their twenties because they overdosed, or caught a deadly disease, or took some laced drugs because they weren’t able to test the drugs.

What I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t have to be clean to deserve to survive and be protected against blood-borne illness, or taking something that’s laced. Addicts are people too, and it’s so upsetting to me how this seems like a controversial take.

Not dating, or doing the horizontal hula doesn't make you gay, bi or trans. Not to mention the amount of "aces" who still do it like rabbits, acting like because they say they're ace, while clearly not being ace, means they should also be considered LGBT, which, just no.

Don't get me wrong obviously, like all other allies, cis, het or just non SGA aces and aros should be welcome in LGBT spaces, just don't try to act like y'all deal with the same shit we LGBT folk do.

I just wish people treated the terms ace and aro, and the few microlabels they have that actually make sense, in the same way people do with introvert and extrovert, instead of an entire identity, it's just a way to describe how you feel about dating or doing.

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