i have a curious question: what is beta editor and why have i been seeing this lately? is it the trim option? ???

why was she still standing here? the whole conversation, including his existence, was starting to give her a headache. right temple pounding as she shut her eyes for a moment, attempting to understand the situation.

" what the fuck are you? a saint? " wouldn't be her first occurrence with a person who claimed wanting to help her and save her from this shithole she calls her life.

kimberly clenched her jaw, teeth grinding as her anger began to swarm under her skin. begging her to let loose on the man in front of her, but she couldn't--not nick, it had to be nick. fucking saint nick.

" do you get turned on helping the needy? if you're not winning anything or keeping score, then it must be some twisted kink. i've read about these, your type, helping the druggy down the street to get off later. "

his words were a broken record, heard plenty of times in her life from everyone who claimed to want to help, and as time went by, they cared less and less. kimberly didn't blame them because she never learned her lesson; it was easy not having any redeeming qualities.

" we are not the same. " he severed a nerve. " you act like you know me when you know nothing at all. i don't need anyone, not begging for anyone to help me---these are the consequences of my actions. do you not get it? i'm removing myself from the equation, it's fucking easier that way. " nails dug into her palms, knuckles inching to collide with a hard surface as her anger issues clawed out.

getting away from him was impossible in this town, it's like he had ears everywhere, and she fucking hated it. " i need to get drunk. " just let that kimberly decided a shot of tequila would cure all her problems. calming the storm brewing within, she didn't feel like spending the night in jail.

" don't fucking follow me. all you're going to do is piss me off, all you ever do is piss me off. who the hell cares so much? must be rough. "

all the two did was talk; talk about her fucked up life, why she decided to burn down the building, and who the hell gave her the syringe to shoot up. never ending talking about all her shitty decisions. " i'm getting real tired of fucking talking. " kimberly cursed through her teeth, setting down a bag full of bad decisions. " let's get straight to the point, i'll say i fucked up and you'll tell me how self-centered i am. you ask for an apology, but i don't give you one because it'll happen again. " it was that easy to end the conversation.

doing a couple inboxes and drafts then i'll see you guys after my long schedules end on friday! don't forget to drink lots of water!

" why? " answering a question with a quesetion, avoiding the truth, and the truth was that kimberly had been on a trip for three days. one where colors could be smelled, sky was brighter than usual, and pupils constantly dilated. " three days, " she knew better than to ignore her questions. " some junky gave me this by the cemetry. how could i say no? it was free, but he did say if i drop dead, then it wasn't his problem. "

good question, kimberly had no idea when she last slept. what was the point of sleeping when every time she closed her eyes, there would be a shadow hovering over her? screaming at her? she couldn't figure why a haunting was after her, nor did she even have the capacity to figure it out. " it's been a couple days. "

thankfully the person who asked was perfectly capable of sorting it out for her. " someone is cursing me. i need you to figure out before i lose my fucking mind, if i hear her scream one more time then i might start to lose my ability to function."

" what are you playing at? " voice seething with irritation, and her plan to leave had been interrupted by some meddling bastard. kimberly knew coming down from the high would break her; those few days of happiness ended with a sense of dread. it reminded her why she left in the first place, but he was preventing her freedom. " can't you fuck off? find someone else to be your charity case? i never once asked for your help. " her own thoughts cursed at her for the way she spoke to him, literally belittling the only person willing to help. " stop PRETENDING like you give a shit and helping me won't give you an award for being a good person. "

it was easy to push people away for kimberly. using every skill in the book that made her look like an asshole. " now, move. "

start from the beginning, easier said than done because kimberly didn't know where to begin. " remember the drug..." the memory of her fleeing and begging the other to assemble a narcotic powerful enough to escape his prison. " i don't know what happened. the instructions were simple, one drop then he'd be put to sleep. " but that wasn't the whole story, kimberly originally planned to put one drop into his drink then vanish.

however, an argument between them escalated to her being thrown around like a rag doll. fingers tangled into her hair, tears swelling, and it was a distraction enough to pour the whole bottle into his drink

" i'm lying. " bruised lips quivered, lowering her head as she watched the man who made her life a living hell gradually lose grasp of his soul. asking her for help, a hand raised to grasp her, hungry for air, yet kimberly turned her back until she heard the last gasp. " all of it happened at once. i was angry, wanted him gone, but . . i don't know what to do. please, i fucked up. i need your help. " it was impossible to figure this one out herself--she needed someone on her side.

good morning. i fell asleep after studying / case studies but i hope everyone’s day is going well. i’m gonna answer some inboxes and maybe consider changing a few graphics

[ crying because never realized how much i missed kimberly until now. getting back into it, shaking off the cobwebs

everything was unfolding in ways she couldn't handle, no matter how many times she tried to uncrease the folds--it never went back to normal; they were no good for each other, obviously, but kimberly despised the idea of being vulnerable with someone.

so, she left. disappeared, off the grid, almost like she never existed.

" eddie. " her voice struggled, practically begging him to shame her, but their arguments were different. silent treatment, sometimes yelling, and occasionally slamming doors. " i panicked. " almost like her nervous system was shutting down, the closer she got to him--the easier it would be for him to abuse that power.

though, kimberly was slightly amazed by his ability to scout her out. " how did you find me? why did you come looking for me if this wasn't going to work? "