《histerek》

my sister and me having a great time...

i love fanfiction writers oh my god

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

"Is it a safe space to say i hate-" NOT IN THE MAINTAGS IT ISNT

"I hate [character] from [show] soo much #character, #characters's full name, #show,

ARE YOU INSANE

tfw you have a reputation to maintain but a sparkly alien keeps trying to become friends with you 😔✨️

In which Stiles comes home to Derek (who inadvertently offended a witch by arguing that his husband was more magically powerful than her and ends up cursed to stay in his wolf form unless Stiles can reverse it) and Eli (who took one look at his Daddy stuck in wolf shift and simply decided this was for Papa to deal with) eating ramen (made by Eli with his Daddy’s supervision). 

The whole Steve is colorblind thing.  I like the idea that Steve, given that his entire life is about fighting against the limitations of his body, wouldn’t bat an eye at being colorblind – he’ll just work around it, just as he has to work around all of his other illnesses.  And Bucky, all teasing aside, will be there to support him.  I especially like the idea of Bucky being Steve’s eyes – telling him the colors of the world.  Since so much of being an artist *is* the reading of colors, Steve’s artistic ambitions also taps into Bucky’s latent artistic abilities (he’s always had sharp eyesight, after all).  As is always the case: where Steve goes, Bucky is right there with him.

[Shortly following this one, probably.]

[Yay just put up the companion ficlet]

[Also: sequel – post Bucky recovery]

[The rest of my Captain America stuff]

ALSO SUPER IMPORTANT: color blindness is pretty complex – there’s lots of different kinds and degrees.  Steve is probably not completely color-blind!  I went for the cheap joke in the first page, but he can probably tell the difference between green and blue.  -__-.  (It’s much harder to express nuance in comics guys… stick to fics)

teen wolf didn't make stiles a werewolf because they knew he would be finding increasingly absurd ways around all the absurd Werewolf Rules. some bad guy tries to trap him in a circle of mountain ash and he reveals he's been carrying one of these bad boys in his backpack for months

Don't leave this gold in the tags

Stiles: [sobbing bc he can’t save the puppy* who is going to FREEZE in the cold]

Claudia and John, who know this is absolutely NOT a dog: [trying to wrestle the pup out of Stiles’ deceptively strong three-year-old grip]

*Derek, not a puppy but a wolf cub who is admittedly tiny for his age: [head empty no thoughts, enjoying the scent and warmth of Stiles’ scarf]

Talia, watching this all go down behind a tree: [plotting how to save her son for the FIFTH TIME THIS SKI SEASON who she’s beginning to suspect doesn’t want to be saved]

The Lost Wolf Pup

Talia growled tensely, keeping to the treeline. When Damon had kissed her goodbye and said not to lose any of their pups, she had rolled her eyes at her husband and elbowed him gently. And then she lost sight of Derek. She was never going to hear the end of this.

Cora had stumbled around, still new to her full-shift, so Talia had to pay some extra attention to her. She'd hoped her brother would keep an eye on the other pups, and Peter had, until Laura and Sloan got into a fight and he had to break his nieces up before it could escalate. Derek had used the opportunity to slip away. As soon as they noticed he was gone, Talia had growled an order at her brother and sent Peter with all other pups back home so she could go and search for her son.

By the time she found Derek, he had already been found by another though. He'd gotten himself stuck under a fallen tree, whining for his mom to come save him, but a human boy had heard and reached him first. The chubby-cheeked child had carefully pulled Derek out from under the tree and then wrapped him up in a bright-red scarf before snuggling him against his chest.

"You are the cutest puppy ever," the boy declared, hugging Derek closer. "I'ma keep you."

Much to Talia's horror did Derek yelp and start licking the boy's cheek. Oh, he could be glad his big sister wasn't here, Laura would be making fun of him for the dog-behavior for weeks to come. His tail was even wagging. It was absolutely adorable, her son seemed so happy and content in the child's arms, making the little boy giggle and laugh.

"Stiles! Stiles, how often have we talked about this? Don't run off like this," Deputy Stilinski came running into the clearing. "Your mother and I got so worried when you just disappeared. Come on, let's get back to your mom… What… What do you have there, kiddo?"

The child, Stiles (what a peculiar name), turned toward his dad and proudly lifted Derek up like they were in The Lion King (Cora's current biggest obsession. Talia had seen the movie ten times this month alone). Derek hung in the child's chubby hands, tail wagging.

"Puppy!" Stiles exclaimed proudly. "I found him! Can I keep him? Please, please, please! Scotty wants a puppy too but his dad said no, because Mister McCall isn't half as cool as you! You're the cool dad, you would totally say yes! Please be cooler than Mister McCall?"

The boy hugged Derek close and gave a quivering lower lip pout, his already quite big eyes growing even larger. Talia gave a low warning growl when Derek mimicked the same expression, like he was desperate to stay close to the child. Derek's ears twitched, picking up on her growl.

"Kiddo," the deputy's voice cracked. "That is not a puppy. Please put the wolf down."

Stiles frowned, his whole face scrunching up. "No. He's mine now. Ple—ease, daddy?"

Talia gave a slightly louder growl, demanding for Derek to get away from the humans. With a small whine did Derek start wiggling until Stiles dropped him so he could run off. Stiles yelped and made to run after him, his dad catching him by the wrist and pulling him away. Derek remained at the treeline, watching the boy unwillingly stomp off through the snow, until Talia nipped him gently.

/break\

Derek learned about True Mates in New York. Well, he'd known about them since he was old enough to understand language, knew his parents were True Mates. But what it meant, what it felt like and how a wolf identified their True Mate, was something only taught to him as a teen. His parents should have taught him, but then the fire had happened… He knew, without a doubt in his mind, that the boy with the red scarf, Stiles, was his True Mate. Even then, as a teen, he still had that red scarf, years after the boy's scent had faded from it, it still brought him comfort. In the months directly after the fire, he'd sleep exclusively in his wolf-form, curled up in the scarf.

It felt ironic that the very first person Derek met when he'd returned to Beacon Hills to follow his sister had been his True Mate. By then, Derek had been too jarred by what Kate had done to him to focus on his chance of happiness (too jarred to think he deserved happiness). And even as he tried to keep his distance (denying himself the chance at happiness), he kept seeking Stiles out.

When he got shot by Kate, Stiles stayed with him the entire time. When the kanima paralyzed him at the pool, Stiles threaded water for two hours to keep him alive. Over and over again, Stiles continued just being there. Kept saving Derek's life, helping him build his pack, protect his pack. The human boy had pushed himself into Derek's life, forced his way into his heart and refused to leave again, regardless of how much Derek growled at him and pushed him around and away.

In the end, that was what made True Mates, wasn't it? The way his dad always held his mom accountable, but also supported and loved her, gave her strength and let her relax when she had spent all day with her chin raised and shoulders squared to be the Alpha of the pack. Stiles… Stiles was that for Derek. Around the boy, the Alpha could allow himself to relax, to be weak and vulnerable, because he'd learned that Stiles would never exploit it. He could rely on Stiles to call him out on his bullshit and set his head straight – Stiles had brought Boyd and Erica back, had forced Derek to become a better Alpha, to listen to his betas. Stiles was his home and his happiness.

For that reason, Derek was currently breaking into Stiles' bedroom in his wolf-form, sneaking into the boy's closet to crawl into one of the many red hoodies Stiles owned (over the past months, he had gotten at least one from every beta. He was the Little Red Riding Hoodie to their wolf pack).

It was stupid and childish of him, wasn't it? To sneak into his mate's bedroom like that. To hide in the clothes and the scent when he felt bad about himself, the way he used to as a kid. The closet door opened and Stiles stood in front of him, his bat lifted high and grim expression on his face.

"...You are not a closet monster," Stiles muttered surprised, lowering his bat. "Hey, Derek."

The teen offered a grin as he plopped down in front of the closet. "Wait. Why are you in my closet. And in my hoodie. You look adorable and I will be using this as blackmail material, you know."

Derek gave a low whine and curled together, effectively hiding his face under another hoodie. All Stiles did was stare at him. Even if Derek couldn't see it, he could feel those intense amber eyes on him. Big, bad Alpha he was, hiding under a heap of clothes from his mate. Stiles wasn't supposed to find him, Derek had meant to just sneak in for a quick nap surrounded by his mate's scent. He'd done it dozens of times already, usually when Stiles was at school or lacrosse practice. He turned to glare mildly at Stiles. The boy was supposed to be at lacrosse practice right now.

"Coach canceled practice. The drive-in theater is having a special showing of Independence Day and whatever poor other bastards will attend it, they'll all be objected to him loudly doing the speech from the back of his truck," Stiles snorted and rolled his eyes.

Derek froze, blinking surprised up at Stiles. How had he known what Derek was thinking…?

"Don't look so surprised," Stiles huffed. "Your eyebrows of doom actually translate onto your wolf. You and me have mastered the art of silent communication like months ago. Apparently, it does not matter whether you're human or wolf to do it. So, care to explain why you are breaking and entering into the sheriff's house, just to… what exactly is this?"

Stiles raised both his eyebrows and motioned at Derek, who still refused to shift back. Sitting in Stiles' closet as a wolf was embarrassing, but doing so as a naked man was a level of humiliation he was not going to object himself to. He laid down flat, legs sprawled out in front of him. Stiles took out his phone and before Derek could react did the boy take pictures.

"Blackmail material," Stiles pointed out before getting up. "Okay, if you refuse to tell me what you want, I will go and hit the shower and go to bed. Feel free to do… whatever this is."

With that, Stiles just… left the bedroom. He just left Derek in the closet, with the hoodies. Not calling him creepy or weird or kicking him out, just allowing Derek his moment of comfort.

/break\

If asked what he was doing in Derek Hale's closet, Stiles would claim it was payback. Even though that made absolutely no sense at all, but that didn't matter to Stiles. He'd found Derek in his closet a week ago and since then, the Alpha had resolutely ignored and avoided Stiles. So, Stiles was digging for answers, or something. What he found only gave him more questions. At the very back of Derek's closet, he found a red scarf. The material was faded and worn out from years of usage, but Stiles still would recognize it anywhere. It was imperfect, which was what had made it perfect, because that was a sign that his mom had knitted it with love and the attention-span that Stiles had inherited from her, meaning she'd messed up some meshes in very unique ways. Stiles blinked away tears as he remembered the first time she'd put it around him and pulled him in to kiss his nose, telling him that the most beautiful things in life were imperfect.

A lesson he had been living by so far. A lesson that had made him so invested in the Hale Pack, with their imperfect, growly, broody Alpha and the arrogant asshole betas who refused to listen. It had been a lot of work, for all of them, but in the end, they had created the perfect pack out of their imperfect, messed-up individual parts and Stiles loved them all.

"...Stiles," Derek sounded… Stiles couldn't place his tone.

That made Stiles frown. He knew Derek inside out, he could read the man by one raise of the eyebrow, knew what the tone of every growl meant, but he had no idea what to do with the way Derek had just said his name. Turning around to face the Alpha, Stiles lifted the scarf.

"I lost that as a kid," Stiles spoke softly. "Well, 'lost'. I gave it away. To a… puppy who turned out to be a wolf pup and I now suspect was actually a werewolf pup. Know anything about that?"

The Alpha blushed. Derek Hale actually blushed at that. Stiles had never seen him blush. It was the singularly cutest sight ever, and Stiles literally had a photo of a wolf wearing a red hoodie as his screen-saver. Blinking, Stiles kept staring at Derek. Waiting. The Alpha was so not getting around using his words this time, no sir. The break in had already been weird enough, but this?

"Why would you still have this," Stiles asked after a moment. "That was like twelve years ago."

"Because…" Stiles could tell by the look on Derek's face and the drawl to his voice that the Alpha was currently forcing himself to say something he didn't want to admit. "You're my mate."

That took some to sink in, but when it did, it… made perfect sense. Derek had pretty much allowed Stiles to co-lead the pack with him, he came to Stiles for every major decision, asked his feedback. The break in, the hoodies. Because Stiles' scent comforted him. Even the growling and threats made more sense, because of course did Derek Hale try to sabotage his own shot at happiness, the guy was a big ball of trauma. Slowly, Stiles stepped up to Derek to gently cup his face.

"You're allowed to be happy, Sourwolf," Stiles whispered before kissing him.

~*~ The End ~*~

If someone has a kink that makes you feel uncomfortable might I suggest looking away and dealing it like a fucking adult since it doesn’t affect you.

the polyamory couldn't save them in the end. but it matters that it was there

#Nate narrating to the FBI agents in the last goodbye job - @redgoldblue

few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again

Someone mentioned on another tumblr post about how nobody complained that Agatha Christie wrote ANOTHER book about murder.

Write your story. Write it again. And again.

Okay but do you understand the TREASURE TROVE of reading a fic you enjoy and then looking at the author's page and discovering they have written multiple just like it?! That is the ultimate score!