Pinned
"Time to come home, John."
(I just think maybe the King in Yellow is big and also pretty)
(id in alt)
@horseboneologist / horseboneologist.tumblr.com
Pinned
"Time to come home, John."
(I just think maybe the King in Yellow is big and also pretty)
(id in alt)
Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them
Follow me for more wikipedia ^
Sometimes I do have desires that disgust me. But I have other problems
Tammy Radbody from the Bless episodes of Monster Factory, so like...2019?? oh snap it is 2019 that was a real guess . anyway her design is legit awesome and she's so fun to draw, i should do more monster factory creations if i can ever feel joy again
micron pens, prismacolor markers my mom bought me in 2004, and a blue highlighter i found
elias being aroused by the compulsion is so, like, the implications. the archivist's compulsion is meant to be a violation of the highest degree, it's an act of domination over another being and results in complete loss of autonomy for the victim, because statement feeding (and avatarhood as a whole) is also consumption ("he looked at me like he had just eaten a perfectly cooked steak", 142 // "i've always thought a man's eating habits were his own private business", elias in 148), jon was eating them so his god wouldn't eat him, just as his first encounter with the powers was a story about being devoured by a monster. so. why would elias like this, why is he excited by it. because he's two hundred years old and has spent most of those years hiding his true self as jonah magnus while serving the fear of being known/found outโthat alone makes him an excellent source of fear for the eye to passively feed on. but he also describes jon's compulsion as "tingly, but sort of freeing" in 92, as if the prospect of having his entire self finally, forcibly revealed under the eye of their god after all this time will be a moment of ecstatic release, because he takes so much gloating pleasure in revealing his secrets to jon in 160, because he wants to be Known, the only thing he objects to is the revelation coming at a wrong time because that would ruin his plans. and, of course, the whole loop of jon extracting a statement <--> elias being compelled, which in turn is feeding the beholding, works as a great metaphor for sex. the gratification the beholding rewards them with for the act can only be experienced by the two of them, because nobody else will gladly feed jon their fear and only his archivist can compel jonah. like. all im saying is there was no need to make [PLEASURED EXHALATION] a thing and then never bring it up again. because whats all this then.
prev, no, he IS scared! jon can destroy his mind, jon can make him relive every excruciating second of his worst, most traumatic memories. when was the first time he properly feared his own mortality? did he ever get injured or ill to such an extent that he thought he was going to die right then? this is magnified by the fact that after 160 the only thing that can kill him is jon. he did all that to jon (and everyone else) to escape the fate of perpetual victimisation only to find that fear again in jon. what if jon gets bored of him, what if jon finally decides to break his mind, and i'm assuming he no longer has any way of Knowing what he's thinking and what he'll do next, because jon's powers have eclipsed his. guy who has never kept faith in anything other than himself is just going to have to believe that the monster he made is not going to break him beyond repair. he's terrified, actually. i'm just saying he also derives sick sensual pleasure from it (as does jon. statement extraction is eroticised subjugation and/or possession of another's will and he's finally getting to victimise elias in return for everything he's done to him and it feels good!), because elias's mind is being unravelled by his own masterpiece and he's a vain little shit like that. so, very important to remember that jon is scaring him but elias is simultaneously delirious with want.
this is my im quitting smoking post where everytime i wanna smoke i will instead post this video. love it, love smoking
literally had a dream last night that i got to smoke a single cigarette but i am so strong and brave and also very handsome
'santa cruz jerk-beef ruin--corner,' 2002 in adriana varejรฃo: histรณrias ร s margens [at the margins] - museu de arte moderna de sรฃo paulo (2013)
I hate the phrase "pregnant pause" but I love the phrase "aborted gesture." tells you everything you need to know about MY politics
Nodding and taking notes.
I'm going to fucking lose it.
I cannot find this definition attested to by any other source, but, well: