discord servers replacing forums and similar niche communities primarily sucks for being a black hole of information but a close second is that it discourages lurking. maybe i want to anonymously observe a community to see what people are like and if i would fit in before i start interacting! maybe i don't want to immediately jump in to a spammed chorus of animated greeting stickers on an account tied to several other elements of my online identity! let me lurk!!!
"ummm people lurk on discord all the time my servers are full of people lurking"
and you now have access to their discord handle and are capable of DMing those people because you share a server. if they have the same username as other social media, you can now find them on other websites, or perhaps you recognize them.
those aren't lurkers. those are inactive members. this is about being able to determine if i want a discord to access me, not the other way around.