Pano naman ako makakalaban kung una palang minamasama na agad.

Tried defending my pov pero sa pov niya it was all excuses. Ano gagawin ko kung di naman yun yung intention ko at all? I should not have come. I should have stayed in my lane. Sabi na it was a bad idea. Gahd it hurts to much. First time ko magbasa ng chat na natilt talaga ko at breakdown pagkatapos. Four times nako nagbreakdown. Got to the point I had to scratch myself with scissors rather than my nails. It hurts na she doesn't believe me. I know she has been through a lot pero san naman ako lulugar? It feels like wala siyang tiwala enough sakin na just because I spent time with others, isasantabi ko na siya. Maybe it's me and my 'hello welcome back' attachment style. Maybe it's not compatible. Nakakasakal rin at some point kasi bakit minamasama. Kung nanahimik nalang bako sa sulok hindi magiging ganto? Dahil ba sa specific person na tinabihan ko? Ang tanda talaga ng utak ko konting beses lang in a span of 3hrs ko siya tinabihan dahil naglaro kami card games. Nung nagbookworm deluxe na talaga ko tumabi kasi napagod na rin ako kakatayo/kakasayaw eh past 7 na yon. Gets di nako umalis after pero di ko na rin kasi alam kung didikit pabako sakanya at that point. Iisipin na naman niya nagoovercompensate so ano ba dapat talaga ginawa ko?

Matutulog nalang ako. Manifesting di na magising 🙏