I'm a blogger and a fanfiction writer.

As a blogger I talk about;

As a fanfiction writer, I post short stories here on tumblr using my side blog includediscofanfics.

I mainly post on ao3 under 3 pseuds, includedisco, givemepizza and hor10nse.

As includedisco I write for Thai BL fandoms, mainly JoongDunk and FirstKhao(mostly SandRay).

As givemepizza and hor10nse, I write for TV shows Skam Norway, That 70s show; and several K.Pop fandoms such as GOT7, ATEEZ, 5HINee, Stray Kids, EXO, VIXX, and Oneus.

Not managing to put on paper the exact juicy story that's in your head is frustrating, right? Right.

But then there are times when you actually manage to successfully write the story in your head🥳

Except you somehow get carried away writing this story and it ends up venturing so far off in a random direction you didn't plan; then suddenly your cute, self indulgent, plotless fluff becomes a slow burn, fluff and heavy angst involving several of your traumas😳👀🤦

I can't decide which is more fucked up

Remember that every day is an opportunity to be a better fanfiction writer than you were yesterday. That being said...

...improvement isn't only in the big things like writing a 10k story in one sitting or responding positively to negative comments on your work. Progress is in the seemingly small but actually big things too;

2. You found a different word you can use in place of the verb you've abused

3. You wrote a whole ass paragraph for your draft without feeling insecure about it because you're finally understanding that drafts are meant to be messy.

4. It's taking you months to complete the next chapter of your story. At first you felt bad about it every second of your day but now you actually haven't felt bad for a whole hour. Slowly you're understanding that art takes time and you deserve to be patient and kind with yourself.

5. You took the step to read/listen to a random post about how to write better. Maybe you haven't put that advice into practice yet but hey, you clicked on it and listened/read till the end

6. You managed to read one of your own posted stories, ill feelings about it or no

7. You now celebrate every vote/kudos/like you get on your story because you know that a real human being is behind it, loving your work, shoddy as you think it might be.

8. Today you woke up caring a little less about how your stories aren't that popular in the fandom. Finally you're learning to write for you and to just dwell on enjoying the writing process instead of focusing on how the world will receive your story when you post

9. You read comments on your story which suggest you take your story in a certain different direction, but you successfully ignore those suggestions and courageously stick to the story you want to tell.

10. You ended the day still resisting the urge to have AI write your story for you.

Congratulations to you, most improved writer, even if only one of the items on this list resonates with you👏👍🤝

You're still growing and improving after all.

Whenever you feel like 10 kudos isn't much or enough, picture that number of people sitting in a room staring at you with stars in their eyes, applauding your work, rooting for your story or your writing. And you're not even a celebrity. Just. Imagine. That.

Suddenly hating the same story you wrote & loved yesterday or vice versa is very normal

Me when I read a story I wrote three years ago: "Damn the English is so bombastic it sounds like a read a dictionary back to back and wanted to show off the vocabulary. So embarrassing."

Me when I read a story I wrote three months ago: "English so simple it looks like a 6th grader wrote it. Yikes!"

The truth is that human beings are complex and moody. It makes sense to perceive the same piece of art differently over time. You already wrote the story. Let it be. It's still art and it still came from your heart and your talents.

The important thing is that you got to artfully express yourself and someone enjoyed and appreciated it; as evidenced by the kudos, votes, likes or notes on it.