@jerkfacepink / jerkfacepink.tumblr.com
Now that cyle IS our product engineering team, I can finally put my feet up, and relax.
yup, it’s all me now, folks. all of you can retire early. 👍
my reign as product engineering ended today, one month shy of 10 years.
Yes? Wonderful. Come, friend, have a seat. I have...a lot to say lol
Eight years later and I am STILL not over how absolutely genius this fortress is, like are you kidding me????? Everything from location to design to its inside defenses is just *chef's kiss* PHENOMINAL, and so because I have no filter, I am going to barf all my thoughts I've had on it in the past many many years.
Before we begin, shoutout to the WONDERFUL video by Zeltik that touches on this a bit and gave me a wonderful basis for my brainrot in the first place. Definitely go and watch it it's fabulous NOW! Let's get into the madness shall we? First let's talk about the location cos OHHHH MY GOSH. This was, hands down, THE best place they could have possibly put a fortress of this magnitude in Hyrule and I am going to tell you why. First of all, allllllll along the northern and northwestern border of Hyrule, there's those massive canyons
Passing over that in a way that would be effective military-wise is kind of impossible, so it provides a natural defense from invaders from those directions.
If you were to come from the South, you would hit the Gerudo desert and not only have to face the might of the Gerudo military, but also cross this EXPANSIVE, scorching desert before you can even make it to Hyrule field, and by that time, the royal leader could have very easily sent an army to intercept anyone trying to attack, so that's right out.
Which leaves coming from the Faron region next which is okay??? I guess??? but that's a LOT of swamp and forest you have to cross through, AND you go right past the Great Plateau where any army would have been seen and intercepted eventually. This takes us closer to the eastern coast of Hyrule, and you would be hard pressed to try and travel through Necluda, cos just l o o k at all these mountains you'd have to cross:
Horrible. And you probably don't want to go through Zora's Domain cos that's yet another heavily fortified and well prepared city in and of itself (please ask me about this one too I beg of you I love talking about Zora's Domain)
Any military leader with a brain isn't going to go through Death Mountain for obvious reasons, so really, all that leaves is this tiiiiiinnnyyy vulnerable spot in Akkala
And where did they put the citadel??? Right at the heart of that vulnerable spot >:D Like a boss.
AND SO! if invaders came in from that coastline, they have three options: They can take the path through the Akkala Highlands, they can go through the Torin Wetlands and up to the pass it connects to, or they can take the trail up to the Sokkala Bridges. All of these are TERRIBLE OPTIONS Akkala Highlands path: If they come up this way at the start
this will work allll the way until they get about here:
once they get here though, you are now not only bottlenecking an entire army meant to invade a kingdom (so probably roughly 1,000-1,300 people), but you're also directly under the shadow of the Akkala Citadel. There are archers there to fire on you, and they had a canon post on that side to potentially fire either at the incoming soldiers or fire at the opposite canyon wall to rain debris and rocks on them.
TERRIBLE for the other army.
And even if some did manage to survive, it would be painfully easy for the infantry at Akkala Citadel to send foot soldiers down below to cut them off.
SO THERE GOES THAT OPTION (and admittedly, I think it's probably the worst of the three)
Next option is to go through the Torin Wetlands and up into that same pass by the Citadel
this is ALSO a bad idea because the Torin Wetlands are a DELIGHTFUL tactical advantage for Hyrule. Once you get to that pass, you have the same problems as option one, but now you first have to pass through this wide marshland to get there. This will immediately slow down your army, and if that wasn't bad enough it's also in clear freakin view of the citadel and so they would be able to send their entire militia of archers and potentially even cannoneers to fire on the advancing army and take a bunch of them out before they could even make it to that pass.
So a smart general may say the best option is to go around the long way.
now this eliminates the pass and also slowing down at the marsh, and you could even make it almost all the way to the citadel without hardly any losses probably BUT! The first hurdle is those bridges. Wonderful for Hyrule, terrible for the opposing army. The three Sokkala bridges are SMALL, even smaller than the pass an army would have to go through with the other two options. This military leader would basically have to send their soldiers single file unless they have a way to expand the bridges to make them wider (which, admittedly, could be possible with a bit of foresight, but for now for simplicity's sake let's just assume they didn't think that far ahead).
This brings in an EXTREMELY slowly advancing army right to the heart of the Akkala Citadel's battery.
There are three locations with canons we see in BOTW that cover pretty much the entire open area the opposing army would come in on. And when you look at the amount of space each post covered
There is not a SINGLE spot in that valley a cannoneer couldn't easily reach. And, of course they would continue to have archers to pick off individual soldiers as well.
And if SOMEHOW
BY SOME MIRACLE
enough soldiers make it through that hell to be enough of a problem, there are plenty more soldiers in the citadel to cut them off as they come up the hill AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! there was this:
by the time we get to botw, it has been destroyed, but that is ANOTHER smaller stronghold that was probably pretty well manned in and of itself.
AND WHAT'S MORE
There's even this long cliff road with very little room to operate, so it would be extremely easy for the citadel to send over some soldiers to post up there and cut off anyone who tried to make it past. And with so little room to operate, it would not go well.
Ain't NOTHING getting past the Akkala Citadel, guys.
And that isn't even touching on the fact that the whole thing is build of solid stone??? And carved into a mountain??? The entire reason it fell in the first place was because the Guardians had enough of fire power to destroy the citadel that they had never seen before (also they could climb walls but that's a side note). This implies that no one in Hyrule or the neighbouring kingdoms had even CLOSE to that level of destructive power, so to try and raze it to the ground would have been impossible.
AND!! it was the most heavily fortified fortress in Hyrule second to the castle itself, and to most likely their military personnel would have been equal too, if not slightly more than even Hyrule Castle. That's A LOT of people!! With most likely endless support and resources from the castle and villages nearby as well.
It was placed geniously, it had impenetrable defense, it had a potentially endless supply of resources and people to use said resources, it was just
argjfbdkjgbks You guys don't understand how much I THINK about this place aghhhhhhhhhh
(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
I know that realistically you can only fit so many movies into a list of approximately 100, but I cannot take that "How many of tumblr's favorite movies have you seen?" list that's been going around seriously because there are some truly egregious omissions.
Some of it is very clearly recency bias, which makes me wonder if the op truly wasn't on here in 2013 or so, but you're telling me you made a list of "tumblr's favorite movies" that doesn't include Pacific Rim or Mad Max: Fury Road? Because, like, I was there, Gandalf.
I'm a ridiculous human and genuinely couldn't sleep until I tried my hand at a better, more balanced list -- though of course, I have my own biases when it comes to what corners of this website I've lurked in over the years. For what it's worth, I did consult the last several Years In Review, while also drawing on the fact that I've been here for over a decade. But if there's anything that truly doesn't feel like it should have made the cut, blame my mutuals for putting it on my dash all the time.
(And apologies, but I couldn't seem to find Goncharov among the website's listings)
I’m reading that new memoir about working at Facebook,”Careless People,” and it’s just fucking insane.
At one point Facebook wanted to be an international hub for organ donation. The “Lean In” lady asked why she couldn’t go down to Mexico and buy a kidney if her four year old needs one. This is literally on p.57. What the fuck else is going to be in this book if that is on page 57
Facebook also had to have protocols for armed raids of its foreign offices because they violated so many laws or failed to pay taxes or comply with other official protocols!! How is this a company that still exists!!!
“Doing jail time in a foreign country is not a reasonable ask from your bosses” — legitimately an argument the author’s husband had to have with her!!
Is this what gilded age readers felt like when they read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”???
Though strangely nothing Mark Zuckerberg does is worse than Sheryl Sandburg, who comes across as an unhinged hypocrite who uses her uncontrollable anger issues to cultivate a reign of terror, I am just… baffled and appalled at how much Zuckerberg does not care about the world outside of Silicon Valley. There have already been two instances of him trying to wear a hoodie to state visits, and not in a Zelenskyy protest way. He just doesn’t like clothes that are not hoodies.
Wow they just abandoned a team member in the middle of an out of control crowd in Indonesia! Horrible company!
Guess who Mark Zuckerberg thinks is the best president of all time?
Hint: it’s Andrew Jackson!
Another mind-boggling line: “I think the point at which you have to explain Nuremberg to the head of the team leading your China entry is probably a red flag.”
Real exchange that happened between book author and the head of the DC office:
This conference room detail seems like too much for satire. But it isn’t!
This book has gotten so insane I can’t even summarize anymore. I can only post photos of this moment where Sheryl Sandberg wears her pajamas on a private jet and tries to make her heavily pregnant employee cuddle in bed with her on a flight back to California from Davos, Switzerland.
Following this, we discover that Sheryl says, “you should have gotten in the bed,” and ices out the narrator. Sheryl also has her assistant Sadie buy $10k of lingerie for her, and $3k of lingerie for herself, after which Sadie has to go to her house to model the lingerie and stay overnight. What the actual fuck.
Woooow FB knew the whole time that Trump was using trolls and spreading disinformation before the 2016 election but because they were making so much money off of it, they were just fine with it. They completely ignored the author pointing out how Duterte had done the same thing.
Direct quote on p 251: “Outrage is a lucrative business for Facebook right now, a month before the election….”
Jaw-dropping.
Guess who lied to Congress about how the Chinese Communist Party would apply its laws and regulations to Facebook?
Mark Zuckerberg!
A lot of this later stuff about Facebook’s attempts to get into China are going a little over my head but I can see why Meta was trying to discredit the book and shut down reviews. She’s whistleblowing violations of US AND international laws. I doubt they’ll see consequences under Trump but YIKES
“By now it feels like the day-to-day at Facebook is lurching from one dismaying shit show to the next.”
SEEMS ACCURATE
This is so evil!!!
I don’t even know how to summarize the particularly heinous things that happened with Facebook in Myanmar and I’d have to take photos of the whole chapter to select bits but BASICALLY
-thanks to a telecoms deal Facebook came preloaded on a lot of mobile phones and often time on FB didn’t count towards your minutes so to many in Myanmar Facebook WAS the internet
-nonetheless FB was not optimized for Burmese, Myanmar was not renders on Unicode, and the terms of service were translated extremely late and passed out on paper flyers instead of posted anywhere. FB in Myanmar had little to no oversight and there was only one contractor in Dublin monitoring hate speech in Burmese even when there were LITERAL RIOTS caused by misinformation posted on Burmese FB
-Myanmar was not a priority for FB leadership so after LITERAL RIOTS they only hired one other contractor who seemed to remove posts from peace activists rather than hate speech or posts calling for violence
-due to what seems like internal politicking against the author, the person she tries to hire to be in charge of Myanmar in the right time zonenever gets hired
-FB higher ups were warned in advance of huge misinformation efforts like troll accounts and takeovers of fan accounts for pop stars but did nothing, leading pretty much directly to what the UN calls genocide and crimes against humanity
Why did it all happen? The author’s conclusion: higher ups “didn’t give a fuck.”
Wow and after all that they fired the author for reporting sexual harassment from her Bush-trained, Trump insider boss
Holy shit was this a harrowing read. These insanely rich people have so much money they are insulated from the consequences of any and all actions and don’t care what countries they smash as long as they can pull money from the wreckage
yknow it took a meme for me to realize every member of greenday is bisexual however, i also didnt really look at pictures of the band greenday before that and like
how was this ever a question? like no shade but this group is like if danny elfman, american flavored gerard way and the “i will find you and i will kill you” guy got blasted with an emo fruitification beam and formed a band
I’m absolutely obsessed with “American flavored Gerard Way” as though Gerard Way wasn’t quite literally born in the godforsaken state of New Jersey
OP do you live in a bubble or something?
you wish you were me living in my beautiful bubble home with my beautiful bubble wife. you wish
listening to “boulevard of broken dreams” it’s hard for me to imagine any more likely place for him to be from than new jersey
I don’t know how to tell you this but Gerard Way did not write Boulevard of Broken Dreams
March 28, 2021
Wake up call fr
i was recently listening to a discussion about determining what you make a false idol out of:
honor, money, power, pleasure, etc
because its important to identify which one is most important to you so you dont let it control you. you identify when you are falling into your habits and when to push against your proclivities in order to create change
i realized my vice is pleasure. i treat myself a lot, i opt out of things to be comfortable, i struggle with self discipline etc.
(on the flip side, acts of service is my love language and i push myself out of my comfort zone for the people i love, such as driving over an hour to see a friend who is lonely, running errands for my mom, cooking or cleaning for a loved one, or attending an event even when im tired because its important to them)
but i need to keep doing it. keep pushing myself, for others and for myself. be uncomfortable. even be in slight pain sometimes, like the muscle soreness that comes from weight training. dont buy that trip. take the bus instead of driving.
What have I draw in last week!!Wish you will enjoy it!!(*´∀`)~♥
I have been thinking a lot about what a cancer diagnosis used to mean. How in the ‘80s and ‘90s, when someone was diagnosed, my parents would gently prepare me for their death. That chemo and radiation and surgery just bought time, and over the age of fifty people would sometimes just. Skip it. For cost reasons, and for quality of life reasons. My grandmother was diagnosed in her early seventies and went directly into hospice for just under a year — palliative care only. And often, after diagnosis people and their families would go away — they’d cash out retirement or sell the house and go live on a beach for six months. Or they’d pay a charlatan all their savings to buy hope. People would get diagnosed, get very sick, leave, and then we’d hear that they died.
And then, at some point, the people who left started coming back.
It was the children first. The March of Dimes and Saint Jude set up programs and my town would do spaghetti fundraisers and raffles and meal trains to support the family and send the child and one parent to a hospital in the city — and the children came home. Their hair grew back. They went back to school. We were all trained to think of them as the angelic lost and they were turning into asshole teens right in front of our eyes. What a miracle, what a gift, how lucky we are that the odds for several children are in our favor!
Adults started leaving for a specific program to treat their specific cancer at a specific hospital or a specific research group. They’d stay in that city for 6-12 months and then they’d come home. We fully expected that they were still dying — or they’d gotten one of the good cancers. What a gift this year is for them, we’d think. How lucky they are to be strong enough to ski and swim and run. And then they didn’t stop — two decades later they haven’t stopped. Not all of them, but most of them.
We bought those extra hours and months and years. We paid for time with our taxes. Scientists found ways for treatment to be less terrible, less poisonous, and a thousand times more effective.
And now, when a friend was diagnosed, the five year survival odds were 95%. My friend is alive, nearly five years later. Those kids who miraculously survived are alive. The adults who beat the odds are still alive. I grew up in a place small enough that you can see the losses. And now, the hospital in my tiny hometown can effectively treat many cancers. Most people don’t have to go away for treatment. They said we could never cure cancer, as it were, but we can cure a lot of cancers. We can diagnose a lot of cancers early enough to treat them with minor interventions. We can prevent a lot of cancers.
We could keep doing that. We could continue to fund research into other heartbreaks — into Long Covid and MCAS and psych meds with fewer side effects and dementia treatments. We could buy months and years, alleviate the suffering of our neighbors. That is what funding health research buys: time and ease.
Anyway, I’m preaching to the choir here. But it is a quiet miracle what’s happened in my lifetime.
*faux leather no animals were harmed! :)
Oh my GOD
This a month has been exhausting, and it came to a head when my mom was in the ER on Friday. We thought she was on her death bed after breaking her hip (they found some other internal stuff after X-rays, CTs, and MRIs), and today she’s standing up, after 3 weeks of being unable to walk. The other internal stuff is insane, but not cancer like they initially thought. Honestly holy shit.
Aging is gnarly.
Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.
If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.
Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.
Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.
I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.
Writers: It's asking to read your Google Docs and be able to 'summarize' things from them and such things. I just turned all mine off.
Because this isn't mentioned above, also go to google.com/drive/settings and turn off all the annoying bits that interface directly with docs there.
This is all in the "privacy" tab of your settings. How fun that everything is hidden two layers deep. 🙄 This DOESN'T get rid of the stupid little star constantly asking you to use it, unfortunately, but that's what the picker in ublock is for. 😉
More detail instructions for OP's post for those who are confused. This is done from the browser on my laptop, I don't know what they look like on phones.
When you click the first link gemini.google.com/extensions, you need to click on the setting icon at the bottom, then choose "Extension", like this:
Scroll down a bit, you will see the options, turn them all off.
Then, you click on the second link myactivity.google.com/product/gemini, you'll see it tells you that it's already "turn off". NO! IT'S NOT! You have to click on that "Turn off" option, it'll drop down a menu like this:
Turn that thing off. Until that button shows you have to click to turn it back on like this:
And then, click on the delete button down there too, even if it says there's nothing to delete, just do it as a caution.
After you's done with those two. You go to your Drive, find the Setting button.
Click on the "Privacy" tab, choose the button "Manage Workspace smart feature setting"
Tick both of those off, then click Save. Or if you still want to use Google AI assistant for some reasons, please read the fine lines very very carefully.
Only then, you can feel safe enough with this force AI assistant bullshit. FOR NOW 🤡 All these steps still can't get rid of that Gemini blinkblink icon though >:(((((
Repeat for every one of your google accounts 💀
