@jjsanguine / jjsanguine.tumblr.com
ALSO another reason why the old guard hits so hard is that it uses stereotypical romantic tropes for family too. They see each other in their dreams until they meet, they're meant to be together (it's like destiny), they mourn the ones they lose for centuries etc.
andy joe and nicky in 1820 finding out immortality isn't a gays only event after booker mentions having a wife
If I eat 100,000 slices of toast and like 99,999 of them, for the rest of my life if someone asks me if I like toast I will remember the ONE that I didn't care for and I'll answer "For the most part, I do" or "I have liked the overwhelming majority of toast I've eaten in my life" instead of just Yes
I'll hedge on shit you people wouldn't even believe. You could ask me what color my hair is and I'd still pause to be like "... Well there is a degree of subjectivity involved"
okay actually i can't stop thinking about a conversation i had with @smlmaster
he's only seen it once and i've seen it more times than i can count because it was the foundational movie of my childhood
Akin's "I've been acting since I won that award" was heartbreaking, but the "Right now, I feel like myself" was just *screams*
He's clearly been acting, even in his off screen life, because we see Jin shake him out of his comfort zone, and his seamless performance falters again and again: he can't smile and wave through a live stream, he stumbles in interviews, he gets pissy when he has to interact with Jin in front of other people. He struggles to keep the act going.
But Jin is patient, and he pays attention, and he puts in effort to know Akin as he really is. He gives him his favorite chocolate milk, he makes his car seat Akin-comfy, he practices his lines so that he can impress Akin and work to be good for him, he defends Akin and praises him without prompting. Jin wants Akin, not The Akin.
And so Akin lets himself be himself with Jin, lets himself want.
And that's why he panics when Jin wins the Sexiest Man spot. Because people are talking about Jin surpassing Akin, and that means leaving him behind. If he lets himself stop acting, then he risks losing everything -- his career, his reputation, and perhaps most scary of all, Jin.
Akin is not new at this. Jin might just be learning that their relationship is dangerous to their careers, but Akin knows. He doesn't want to jeopardize his job, but he also doesn't want to hurt Jin or Jin's career; he would rather choose how to lose Jin, than have that decision be someone else's (the press, their agencies, public opinion).
So, he is distant and pissy and unkind, but Jin is in fact his puppy, and he waits patiently while Akin hisses, and then he runs right past Akin's pout and holds him until he says how he really feels.
This communicative Akin is a surprise, but I'm loving everything about this. If ever there was a character that needed a golden retriever boyfriend to teach him love and self acceptance, it is Akin, and I am thrilled to watch it happen.
Agnes should be allowed to bring the previous pope back from the dead and kill him herself for throwing one of her Sisters into the viper pit for the sake of stopping a potential successor
It's Akin admitting to jin and not to the media or press that he really couldn't quickly bounce back after he didn't win the award that he's been consecutively winning, he even so thought the outcome would be different! Although he knew that this moment was going to come one day. And also because having that title the sexiest man alive is a privilege because people see you and acknowledge you. But it's not the only thing you want to be remembered for and knowing that's really highlighted out of your whole career. For akin getting that award while I think it has brought him a lot of more opportunities he's determined to not let that be the only thing people see him as it seems. Because he's so passionate and so dedicated to his career he poured himself into it for so long. He doesn't even want to be a star in people's eyes he just wants to be himself at least try to stay as close as he can to himself in this industry that constantly changes and constantly acts and respect so much from you and places so much on top of you and pitts ppl up against other.
And Jin just answers him as he's been being so gentle. Especially since he wants to know he cares about what akin is thinking and or feeling. So he'll know whether to give him the space and give him that time that he needs. But the fact for the very first time and who knows how long akin is being very open and vulnerable with jin about his feelings. He told him honestly how he can't give him the answer that he's so badly wanted right now about their status. And Jin just again reassuringc to him that he's there for him no matter what. And akin saying he's really never stopped acting since he's been winning the sexiest man of war but he finally feels like he can just be himself for the first time because when he's with Jin he doesn't have to act nothing is forced. And then the kiss the way Jen just totally washed away his worries and just letting him know again that he's there for him he's not alone anymore perfect the kiss Cinema!!!!
If only she were a man. She’s the most powerful woman in the Catholic Church and still she’s treated like shit by the men around her
i was a man long long long long before i got the surgery i did this week and long before i started hrt and long before i came out, so i am writing from the perspective of that particular life: it's cool that i got to decide to be a man and didn't have to be a woman or anything else. i mean, people tried to make me be a woman as much as they tried to make me straight or thin or meek and docile, but it didn't change me. it doesn't matter what i look like, dress like, how i move, how i talk, what i make, what i love. you can try to beat it down, but the reason you have to try so hard is because it will never go away.
being a man is awesome. don't let some uninspired crank ever convince you otherwise. when you're a man the way i am, there is no "escape" from the burdens heaped upon you (an accusation often levied even now) but you do escape wanting to kill yourself as much. and if that's the sort of escape people mean, it's a route worth taking. so with that in mind you'll find neither shame nor cowering nor apologies here.
i say "decide" because although i believe i have been this my whole entire life, and therefor it was not a choice, it still required Decision-making and i'm proud of those i've had the capacity and wherewithal to make. if all i ever did was die under a name i call my own, then it'd be worth it— and i have to be honest, i've already had more than that, and i want more still. some days, some years, surviving is all we can do, and it takes so much from and out of you to accomplish it. but i want more than just survival. i want to want to live and i want that to be enough. the decision to be a man in spite of rejection— being cast by the wayside out of the garden, a garden to which i was only a conditional visitor to begin with— was a decision to try my hand at living. and if i was always this, there's no sense fretting about what i Should or Shouldn't leave behind. if you can leave behind what would hurt you to carry now, then do that. do whatever.
imo there's nothing wrong or flimsy about framing it as Choosing, anyway. maybe it's life or death, maybe it's joy and pleasure. maybe it doesn't have to be dire to be real. maybe it does. plenty of people, cis and trans alike, try their hardest to wield the choice derogatorily. charged with moral rot, rolling their eyes, pointing their fingers— "who would CHOOSE to be a man?"
ME! i would! i did! and in every life, every timeline, i will choose it again!
