what's weird about my brain is that i have extremely bad *voluntary* recall but if someone else can prompt me, it turns out that more often than not, the memories are still on file
i would like to also add:
-being a nervous kid means living in silent hill permanently forever. there are monsters. they WILL get you. you can't predict when. no one thinks this is noteworthy.
-some foods make you sick. somehow this doesn't mean you can just not eat them. being sick is really inconsiderate of you, too.
-sticky crumbs are the worst.
-kids cooler than you hate you. kids weirder than you are even more unpredictably violent.
-no one understands your creative vision. 'house' would be so much better with a dragon. why does this require extensive debate.
-the assholes who never put the play dough caps back on the tubs should get their hands unscrewed.
-that one girl who can't tell a story but cries if you interrupt whatever boring thing she was failing to say
-boys are allowed to kill any creature they want in front of you specifically to hurt your feelings and you're the bad guy when you bite them???
-rose petals should taste good but don't. WHY.
-that one church lady who thinks screaming in a shrill and pathetic way at the rude boys is going to work THIS time. what the fuck is wrong with her
-snail slime washes off but slug slime is forever. i still don't understand this one.
-if there are millions of grownups in the world why can't they replace the one currently fucking up being in charge of you and the six boys who like to to torture you. like there's lots more teachers. can't you get one who is trained in not letting kids get tortured? no one in the room has been sneaky about the torture thing. come on.
-clay soil should taste good. look at it. deeply unfair that it doesn't.
-you will never regret putting a small smooth rock in your mouth.
-you chewed too much string and are having an unprecedented bathroom situation.
-why does your friend's mom smell so bad? bad-smelling moms seems like it should be against the rules.
-why does your other friend's mom smell so good? can you get your mom to smell like this?
-extremely specific pretend game scenarios you revisit over and over until your friends are exasperated and ten years later you go OH SHIT as you understand some very embarrassing things about yourself.
-rolling down a grassy hill was such a fantastic combination of chaos and freedom and safety. it's still fun as a grownup but my joints don't agree.
-the utter devastation of squishing a bug you were trying to save. you go from disney princess to warcrimes mcbloodhands in one irreversible second.
-sometimes the free lollipop is just kinda mid. and they don't give you another one to make up for it. and you can't even get THAT mad because mid is still better than nothing.
-mom tells you to clean your toys up but you only have one basket for your stuffed animals, who are currently having a civil war. not good.
-being small enough to climb into a box full of packing peanuts. incredibly good noise. incredibly good texture.
-do you also remember unspooling a tape measure allll the way out, confirming to everyone that the metal end bit COULD rip your eye out, then dropping the tape measure and running out of range before the tape respooled?
-pissing your pants sucks so bad. it stings. and it seems to take so much longer to dry than a water spill does
-you're still a person, every year of your life. everyone says you'll be different when you grow up. and every grownup is so strange, so distant, so unsympathetic and illogical and dismissive and alien. you wonder what could ever make you that different. you wonder why no one can explain.
