ateez in an argument with their s/o (part 1)
genre: ANGST, hurt, drama π©
warnings: cursing, general toxicity, obviously loads of angst
a/n: sorry this took me so fricking long to do, i wanted it to be perfect for you π let me know what you thought and send a request in the askbox for part 2 of this so you can be notified when i post it. anyone else who wants to be tagged in part to let me know~ hope you all enjoy <3
hongjoong
"why are you so angry about all this?"
"you gave me a reason to be angry, y/n. a very good reason."
this is what it was like on the way home. constant bickering and arguing and shouting at each other. now that you had ripped the door open to your apartment and marched into your shared bedroom, you knew the arguments were only going to continue.
"and what reason was that?" you looked him dead in the eye now. your faces were edging closer and closer to his, a defiant glare sparkling in your eyes. hongjoong glared back. his eyes were just as powerful as ever. calculative. observant. deadly.
"you knew what you were doing," his tone was lower than usual, venomous to the ears. "you knew i hated him in the first place. but you just had to have your fun."
"i was just talking to him!" your voice had an extra kick of volume now, trying to dominate and squash his intimidating presence. this was a task that proved very challenging.
"it's not my fault your jealous of every other person i speak to," you defended
"but he's not every other person though!" you could see the vein in his neck show from the intensity of his emotions. "it was him. that's the point of all this. you just wanted to get back at me for the little argument we had earlier. so you did what you thought would hurt me the most. well, there you have it. well done, you hurt me."
"wow know what, if you think i would ever intentionally hurt you, that hurts me more than anything. and maybe if we're arguing all the time, maybe we shouldn't be together at all," the tears came as quickly as they fell. you had grabbed your coat and bag, heading for the door. you didn't think anything else could hurt you. but you were wrong.
what hurt the most was that he didn't stop you.
seonghwa
seonghwa could barely look you in the eyes right now.
"look, i don't want to argue," his tone was soft, but there was a twinge of urgency that came with it. he didn't know what to do anymore. he was exhausted. he was worried. he was everything but happy.
"i don't want to argue either, hwa" you gazed over at him, looking dejected and uncomfortable. you weren't sure why you kept calling him by his little pet name because you were far from being playful at this moment. you crossed your arms over your chest as you spoke up, "but it's either we talk about this or we don't talk at all."
"why do you have to make everything so difficult?" seonghwa snapped, now looking at you with eyes of cruelty. your heart dropped.
"why does everything have to be such a big deal? why can't you just let things go?" seonghwa's voice seemed to be getting louder and louder with each question. or maybe that's just how it felt.
"you're in this relationship too, hwa" you did decide to hold onto that pet name after all; it felt like the only endearing thing you had left to say. your voice grew quiet. you didn't want to argue. you just wanted to fix this. but it felt like you were the only one.
"do you not want to fight for us? why can't you just accept that we haven't been okay for a long time," your breath heaved quickly, but your slumped posture looked like you'd been defeated. "and the only way to sort this out is by talking about it."
seonghwa scanned your face and shook his head, looking away once more. his prior outburst had settled down and now he just wanted to be alone.
"i'm done talking now," seonghwa muttered, closing his eyes. he couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, but the hopelessness took over. "i'm done fighting for this."
you'd have never thought your boyfriend to give up so easily on something. but your relationship? you? that was something that you'd always figured he'd stick by for.
yunho
yunho had unlocked the door to your shared apartment at 2:37 in the morning. on coming home before this, he made sure to tiptoe around the apartment, hop in the shower as quietly as possible, get ready for bed as silent as anything, before making his way to the bedroom.
"oh," he muttered in mild surprise, not expecting to see you awake. you had a book in your hands that you were scarcely reading, and the lamp to your side shining bright against the darkness. "you're awake?"
"i am actually," you say in a short, sarcastic tone. your jaw tightened as you carefully placed your bookmark between the pages and set the book aside, turning off the lamp in the same movement.
yunho stood there for a moment. the room felt still and cold. he looked at you, curled up with your back to him now. he could feel the sadness fizzle in the air. he knew he messed up but he was so tired. so, so tired.
crawling into his side of the bed, he gently tugged the covers over him, not saying a word. he didn't want to speak, but he felt he owed you at least something.
"i'm sorry" he murmured, eyes flashing closed as he breathed a shaky breath out.
"how many times have you said that this week?" you replied, weakly. you were tired too. tired of his excuses, his empty promises, his apologies. they felt like nothing anymore. he had let you down too many times.
he replied with nothing. he had nothing else to say. he thought it would be wise not to say anything at all. just sleep will do. sleep for a clearer mind. even being as tired as he was, he couldn't for the life of him drift off. and neither could you.
it was a long night for both of you. and while you were inches away from each other, you could have never felt farther away.
yeosang
you had been trying to get your boyfriend to talk to you for about 15 minutes now. it was a chore. it was exhausting. but you knew something was wrong and you weren't going to let him suffer alone.
"you really like pushing people to the limits, don't you?" yeosang snapped in response to your persistence. he glared at you with watery eyes, his lips pressed in a firm, straight line.
"i'm concerned for you," you retorted back, "what, am i not allowed to care about my boyfriend anymore?"
yeosang looked away from you. he was usually quiet but this was different. it was a painful type of quiet. you knew your boyfriend all too well to know he wasn't alright. and you didn't want him to be alone and wallow in his feelings.
you took in a deeper sigh and tried a softer approach. "you can tell me anything, yeo" you slid an arm around him, but his head leaned away from you.
"you care too much, it's suffocating" yeosang closed his eyes and shook his head, "i just want to be left alone, what don't you understand about that?" his tone was harsh. you had never seen him like this, which confirmed that he wasn't himself at all.
but his brutality got to you, and before you knew it, you started tearing up. you knew you should be supportive and just accept his wishes to leave him be, but it was hard to go on when you knew he was upset. you felt so torn.
"i'm sorry," your voice cracked underneath the pressure of emotion as you began to leave the room. there was nothing more you could say to him.
yeosang finally lifted his head, his eyes following your figure as you walked away from him. there was a distinct lonely feeling that filled his heart, making it ache. the absence of you weighed heavier on him than anticipated, and he missed you. god, he missed you.
maybe he didn't want to be alone after all...
san
you had come over to spend time with your boyfriend... initially...
it wasn't your fault. you just got a bit side-tracked. yunho and wooyoung were there and it had been a while since you had spoken to them. it was such a pleasure seeing them again since you got on so well.
but san's mood was depleted. his energy zapped. he phased out of reality as you continued to chatter away to his friends, staring at the wall with a glaze over his eyes. he hadn't said a word all night.
it was only until the others left that you actually gave him attention. and that was when you realised you hadn't spoken to him all night.
"you okay, sweetie?" you placed a hand on his bicep, getting him to look into your eyes defiantly.
"don't call me that" he grumbled and pushed your hand away, his arms crossing over his chest.
"what's the matter with you?"
"i invited you round so you could spend the night with me. but you were so much more interested in wooyoung and yunho." san glared at the floor. he realised how pathetic he sounded. how desperate his tone was. but he didn't care at this point.
"i hadn't seen them in a while, san. if you wanted it to just be me in you then you could've dismissed them," you held your ground, shaking your head at his childishness. "besides, you could've joined in the conversation instead of moping about by yourself, my god."
you rolled your eyes and moved away from him in a huff. san sighed and didn't move from his position. he couldn't tell if he was being unreasonable or totally justified. all he could tell was that he was hurt and angry, so the tears stung his eyes.
"i don't get a lot of time with you, y/n," he sniffed, "but by the looks of it you were having more fun talking to them than we've had in a long time."
his jaw clenched as he felt your presence stand there, taking in his thoughts, before leaving the room altogether.
mingi
"it was just a performance, y/n. it's not a big deal."
it was a big deal. at least, to you it was. you've been supporting mingi for as long as you can remember. from the moment he debuted, you were always behind him, encouraging him from the sidelines. and his career flourished. it amazed you just how quickly it did. and with his talents came more opportunities and privileges at award shows.
you didn't realise one of those 'privileges' would be to sexy dance with another idol.
"not a big deal?" you stared at him, wide-eyed and amazed by his words. at first you wondered if you were just overreacting. but his careless brush-offs turned the alarm bells off in your head. "mingi, you have got to be kidding me. she was practically grinding all over you. i had to watch that happen, among all the other thousands of people watching."
"and so what if they watched?" mingi's voice rose in volume, causing you to flinch at the sudden severity of his voice. despite having a deep voice all the time, mingi never used such a harsh tone towards you. it made your heart drop. "it's my job. they watch me do performances all the time. just because this performance happened to be with another idol doesn't mean anything."
his words hurt you more than you could say. but your hurt was spat out in anger, something you couldn't control beyond this point.
"everyone is saying how good you look together," your voice lowered in defeat, "how you should be together. even other idols are saying that."
"is that what this is about?" mingi breathed out a laugh of disbelief before his eyes turned serious, "you're just insecure."
you would have never thought he, of all people, would say that. you lowered your head and stared at your feet.
he only realised how much he hurt you when a tear trickled down your cheek. but by that point, it was too late.
wooyoung
"y/n, i'm not in the mood."
this was a phrase you were hearing all too frequently from your boyfriend. it was enough to drive you crazy. but you had kept silent, up until now. now was the last straw.
it was like he hated you. every time you touched him he would withdraw. even light touches like holding hands or linking arms; he wanted none of it. this was so unlike him. he was the one that usually initiated the physical affection. cuddles were his speciality and he couldn't go seven minutes without holding you. and you love that. but now, everything was one-sided.
"you're not in the mood a lot these days," you commented. your intent was to sound harsh, it really was. but all he could hear was the hurt and pain in your voice, and that tugged at his heart a little. "have i done something, woo?"
"don't be like that," wooyoung sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"no but seriously. are you not attracted to me anymore? has something happened between us? what am i missing?" you pleaded for him to answer you.
"shut up, you sound ridiculous" he snapped, a firm glare shooting into your eyes. there was too much swirling around in his mind for him to take everything in. to take in how he sounded and what he said to you. you could see the unbothered, thoughtlessness in his gaze and saw that he had just given up.
"not even gonna dignify me with an answer, huh?" you sniffed back your tears as you got up from your seat, grabbing the coat you had only recently left on the chair, and making your way for the door. you needed to get away.
if he wasn't going to dignify you with an answer, you weren't going to dignify him with your presence.
jongho
you let an exasperated laugh out, but things were far from funny. in fact, you genuinely couldn't believe what you were hearing right now.
"let me get this fucking straight," the increase in volume of your voice told jongho to run, but he was no coward. he stood his ground and stared at you expectantly. "you think that your job is more important than mine? is that what i'm hearing?"
"i never ever said that," jongho immediately shot back, not missing a beat, "but my job is more physically, psychologically and emotionally demanding. that's just a fact."
"why is this a fucking competition?"
"it's not" jongho practically growled his words back. he couldn't believe that you were both caught in an argument that was so trivial. "i just get exhausted when your moaning about the struggles of your job when there's so much going on with mine."
you shook your head, arms crossing over your chest as you gritted your teeth. "am i not allowed to express myself to you? to tell you my worries? that's what boyfriends are supposed to be there for. if you're not willing to do that then-"
"then what? then i shouldn't be your boyfriend?" jongho spoke before he could think, a tendency he never had. he was losing his head to the heat of the argument; he let his emotions get the better of him.
raising your eyebrows in surprise, you stepped back from the one you loved most. you couldn't read his expression, but you sincerely hoped he regretted those words.
"if that's how you feel, then maybe you shouldn't be" your voice was soft now, weak and without sustenance. shoulders lowering, you gazed at the floor, feeling your cheeks heat up tremendously.
a hopelessness fell upon you both. the atmosphere felt so thick it was suffocating. it felt as if the light that was once between you had been extinguished.
