Here For The Memes

colorblind pride flag just dropped

i saw a license plate this morning that said ‘drgn slr’ which probably means ‘dragon slayer’ but ‘dragon slur’ is funnier. dragon faggot. draggot if you will.

ok so a wild rat just spit poison at me

slay ten of those for my ancient tarnished coin

Dude, Poison Rat venom glands sell for half a gold each. You need two, maybe three if you harvest them particularly poorly, to get that worth.

Which is besides the fact that ancient tarnished coin is a defunct currency. Valuable only as a collector's item.

This guy's a scammer.

slay this guy for my ancient tarnished coin

self-care phrases to boost your confidence

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (…for over half an hour…) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny……….

the class went well and they asked if i wanted to do another one in a couple weeks and i said yeah, and they’re taking uh… fuck, what’s the word for inventory when it’s people?? attendance?? whatever, they’re trying to see who’s interested to get a feel of if it’d be 1 three hour class again or if there’s too many kids so we’d do a couple classes. anyways, i love the emails from Concerned Parents.

“will there be knives involved?” we are baking cookies.

“what temperatures does the oven get to/will it be hot enough to burn?” we are baking cookies.

“will there be [insert ingredient used in cookies]?” we are baking cookies.

“are you using fahrenheit or celsius?” ??????? d-does it matter?? it’s going to get Hot. (also celsius; this is ontario)

“are the ovens childproof?” no?? i’m assuming you’re asking if i’m going to let your kids reach into the ovens while i’m staring out a window in another room. i will not be allowing your children to use the ovens. they will not be left unattended. 

“why is the library baking class taking place at the high school?” the library does not have 10 ovens. the library does not even have 1 oven. the high school has many ovens.

“what if i don’t want my child to have cookies? can you let her make muffins instead?” this is a baking class for cookies. we are baking cookies.

“cookies aren’t healthy. why don’t you make [insert whatever]” do you know how many cookies i can make with a $40 budget and a trip to the bulk store? we are making cookies.

“who needs a class to bake a cookie, why not teach something more valuable?” IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE COOKIES, KAREN, IT’S ABOUT FAMILIARIZING CHILDREN WITH THE ART AND SCIENCE OF BAKING/COOKING/FOOD, ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS, MAKING MISTAKES AND REALIZING THAT THE MISTAKES ARE NOT ONLY OKAY TO MAKE BUT VALUABLE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, FAMILIARIZING THEM WITH INDEPENDENCE, THE UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW AND BETTER WHOLE, ALL WHILE HAVING TRYING TO INJECT A MODICUM OF JOY INTO THEIR LITTLE LIVES. SORRY THAT THERE ARE CONCEPTS AT PLAY YOU CAN’T SEEN TO UNDERSTAND HERE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME JOIN AND I’LL LET YOU MAKE A FUCKING COOKIE.

A lot of fantasy goes with Tolkien explanation of fantasy racism being the result of ancestral grudge.

Then you got Dungeon Meshi which is like:

"Elves and Dwarves hate each other because their respective empires make up 2/3 of the imperial core and are stuck in a cold war as the planet runs out of uncolonized land to grab. Elves are able to live in pastoral paradise because they've horded most of the settings farm-able land and natural capital, displacing and mass murdering any natives in the process. Orcs and goblins are hostile to other races because there the primary targets of an ongoing slavery and genocide campaign. The dividing line between human and inhuman is arbitrarily assigned via a phrenological pseudo-science that quickly falls apart when questioned by anyone who wasn't indoctrinated into it since birth."

For the love of God, sound on.

@vensre

Sometimes “Sound on” is a disappointment. This is not one of those times

Sometimes “Sound on” is

a disappointment. This is

not one of those times

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

See the problem here?

HEY, FELLOW HATERS OF INSANELY-BRIGHT CAR HEADLIGHTS, SOMEONE HAS STARTED A PETITION TO REGULATE THEM.

It's an official petition through the Australian Government's e-petition page, which means if it gets enough signatures, it will be tabled in government.

You do have to be an Australian citizen/resident to sign it, BUT!!! PLEASE REBLOG THIS EVEN IF YOURE NOT, because these kind of things have a roll-on effect, and if Australia legislates LED headlights, then other countries may follow.

FYI, the petition asks only for your name and email, and once you've clicked the sign button, they'll send you an email to confirm your signature --- you need to click the confirmation link in the email to have your signature counted.

honestly now that you mention it, i sure am.

thanks for the reminder i am running low on

Oh my god I’m actually running so low on

.

I'm pretty sure open portals are against OSHA regulations

It took me a few moments to realise that these people are inside a warehouse type building and have opened a door to show the wild weather outside they are not in fact outside opening the door of their warehouse to show us the weather they are keeping inside

*taking notes for a fantasy story* They are now

God-Machine Infrastructure: The Warehouse of the Storm

EVISCERATED

For those that don’t know, Brock’s mom and dad both bailed on their kids to go dreamchasing for a bit and he had to look after NINE siblings on his own

In other words,

SHOTS FIRED

Brock also just kind of left those same 9 siblings so he could travel the world with a 12 year old and his electric rat

Brock literally hung tight until his dad came home, gave said dad a stern shit-talking about how much of a worthless deadbeat he was to his face, refused to set one foot out of Pewter City until he was sure the dude would stay and take care of his damn kids, and then left to follow the dreams he was never allowed to follow because he was too busy cleaning up his parents goddamn mistakes.

But, like, go off, I guess.

If the one in the first pic is his mom, why does she look younger than him?

Because she’s not the one who had to raise 9 kids.

world heritage post

It’s difficult out there, you guys will understand when you get older.

Based.

I'm glad somebody in government is saying it explicitly without mincing words.

Abolish the Republican Party.

This post is like a magnet for the most racist people I've seen on Tumblr. I've been periodically blocking these people every couple of days because the notes keep getting filled with their Klan talk.

Also most of them run porn blogs for some reason???

The replies are a mess. don't go in there unless you want to start blocking and reporting people

saw this post and couldnt like it cus i guess im blocked by them but honestly this is a hilarious way to find out

That guy is Zargnon Lix, Intergalactic Criminal and Founder of Smugglers Against Jugglers.