King Of Disasterr

Just got my teeth drilled

Yesterday night, I asked my parents to remind me to return The Terror (2018) to the video rental store. This morning I woke up to two — momentarily confusing and concerning — text notifications:

Happy Spring to the truest thing that’s ever been said about Spring

Happy Spring to

the truest thing that’s ever

been said about Spring

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

bro has to file for unemployment 😔

“I want to play a game”

The game in question:

Isn't the Onion supposed to be satire? When did they start posting real articles?

ME: ah, fuck! these allergies are going crazy!

THE PERFIDIOUS POLLEN PARTICLE:

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

how dare you say we piss on those poor sheep, haven't they suffered enough

how dare you say we

piss on those poor sheep, haven’t

they suffered enough

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

if you dont like bush you literally dont deserve to fuck

he invaded iraq???

oh

lot of people are going to be sent careening three posts down their dash and crashing into a brick wall because of this post

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits