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user123 we love you beau!
user007 everybody go check out her most recent video www.yearning.com !
↳ user360 was it any good?
↳ user007 omfg yes
user24 guys have u seen her new compilation?
↳ user8 are you talking about this www.kisscastellansmasterlist.com ?? if so i am dying of excitement i didnt have any1 to talk about it w 😭😭
© kisscastellan | all rights reserved
previously boyfiechive
Omfg your fic on Cole was soso gooood, and he wasn't all that horrible like you've mentioned! Def waiting for more fics on the darkest minds fandom from you. Lotslots of love🩷🩷🩷
OMGGGGGG THIS HAS ME SO HAPPY KICKING MY FEET. This is my first feedback i got on my cole fic and Im so geeked rn :)))))) I havent been as active but soon I will definitely be pushing more fics out!! (Maybe not as long as that one)
Installment of the Mine series
warnings: fluff + angst, playboy!Luke, fem!reader, daughter of Athena!reader, swearing (woops maybe a lot more this time), arguing/fighting
Because you swore the gods were in on making a player appear like a knight in shining armor, and you weren't having it.
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
As loud clatter erupted from the other side of the crowded Dining pavilion, Luke raised his head from his plate, mouth stuffed with salad, in direction of the sound. Pieces of a plate were scattered on the marble tiles, and a commotion could be heard among the dish pieces.
“What the fuck are you on, Gale ? Why would I do that in any fucking world ?”
୨୧ jason grace
୨୧ percy jackson
୨୧ nicholas davis
୨୧ edmund pevensie
୨୧ cole stewart
୨୧ liam stewart
୨୧ charles chubs meriwether
୨୧ isaac lahey
୨୧ stiles stilinski
୨୧ peter parker
୨୧ miles morales
© kisscastellan | all rights reserved
୨୧ yearning
© kisscastellan | all rights reserved
In which Luke fucked it all up, and this time he's the one who's gotta try and stick back together the broken pieces,
Or,
The 5 ways Luke tried to show you he was sincere.
pairing: Luke x daughter of Athena!reader
Because you're sick of being this thing he plays with, and confront him on a whim even if it's so unlike you.
Because maybe if he tried to like what you like, things would go back to how they were.
Because he can't help but gravitate around you, for some reason he can't quite start to comprehend.
Because communicating isn't apparently his forte.
I'm just supposed to stand there and do nothing ?
Because you swore the gods were in on making a player appear like a knight in shining armor, and you weren't having it.
Please, please listen...
Because it's been so long since your hands touched, because of the way he bears his soul to you, because you can't seem to forget.
BURNING TOUCH | C. STEWART
pairing ➵ cole stewart x fem reader
synopsis ➵ you’ve only ever seen him in flashes of golden, cropped hair. cerulean blue eyes glazing over the room but never quite meeting yours. you crave his attention, but when you finally get it in the form of a partner Op mission, is it truly worth it?
wordcount ➵ 12K
content warnings ➵ major secondhand embarrassment at times, mean!!!!! cole, mixed signals, reader lowkey doesn’t know how to drive, reader is so down bad it’s pathetic, cole is aware of your feelings the whole time and kind of takes advantage of that, cole being a manipulator??? you might dislike him so much you probably won’t root for them anymore lol…takes place before never fade, character death, suggestive scenes and mentions of s*x, cole stewart is warning enough
a/n ➵ this took so much out of me. i was writing this for the better part of the week, long nights of staying up and having my eyes burn and fingers cramp from writing. this better not flop or i’ll literally cry. i didn’t reread and fix any mistakes after 7k words in and i dont have a beta so if you see any mispelling or sentences out of wack, ignore it pls. i swear my fingers had a mind of their own and i barely planned this fic out and yet it came together?? i didnt notice how hard it would be to write a fic this long and not keep repeating the same phrases/words so sorry in advance, i hope you enjoy!
i know theres not a lot of us the darkest minds fans but to the few that are, i did this for you!!!! i hope there will be others coming across this fic that like it enough to dive into the world of tdm and join the fandom because we need more ppl
p.s i am obsessed with this song and i feel like it fits their situations so please listen to it wherever in the fic you see fit!!!
YOU’RE UNSURE WHY Alban has called you into his office. The sound of your ballerina flats echoes off the league’s facility walls. You wipe your sweaty palms on your pencil skirt, and when that doesn’t work to calm you, you curl your fingers into your palms, leaving crescent shape marks on your skin.
Did you do something? You don’t remember doing anything to break league policy. You were just some nerdy, IT girl! All you did was stick to the computer labs, hacking away for any information the league needed. You know they rescued you, and the other researchers from the quiet, leda corp base in Oregon. You know they needed the little research you guys had on IAAN—so much so they offered you a place at the league in exchange for your loyalty and skills, but did they finally have a reason to boot you?
You thought you were doing good, amazing even. You were the most qualified person down at the labs! They can’t just kick you to the side and let you fend for yourself after you literally betrayed the government for them.
And if they did..you wouldn’t see him again.
Ugh here you go, always having your trail of thought go back to that stupidly annoying, stupidly beautiful, stupidly everything you’ve ever wanted; the man of your dreams.
When you first saw him, you’re a hundred percent sure time stopped. No, literally, the time had stopped. The field agents that broke into the leda corp base you were stationed at had froze all the clocks in the facility and set them back at least fifteen minutes, giving them ample time to get in and out with the packages (aka the kidnapped researchers) while not alarming the actual leda corp workers, deceiving them into thinking they had more time on their lunch break.
You remember him carrying you when your legs gave out from all the running, which reminiscing back, you’re really embarrassed about. But that didn’t deter him one bit, he looked back at your crumpled body and hasted you onto his. Eyes jumping side to side as he takes turns in the facility’s building, watching out for any security or leda corp. It was like you weighed nothing to him, which was probably the case. Your evidence? His strong, muscled body rippled against yours as he ran to the league’s SUVS outside.
You never really saw him frequently after that. If his non official title of “league’s golden boy” was anything to go off of. Which meant he was always ever on the field, constantly being given ops to lead and complete.
But you were content! Especially when you see him all dirtied and bruised coming back from an op, sweat clouding his temple as he bit his bottom lip in controlled pain, a little stumble to his step as he made his way to get bandaged up. You think you might’ve died and then got resurrected when his gaze trailed across the room, and set his eyes on you. It was only for a second of course! But you swear you almost started stripping right then and there and possibly traumatizing a couple of psi teenagers along the way.
You reach Alban’s office, lightly knocking twice to signal your arrival. You wait for his voice to call out a “come in!” And let yourself twist the doorknob.
“Good morning, Miss ____. I hope you found your way quite well. If you may,” Alban stated, arm out to point you to the only other empty seat in front of his desk.
It was now you realized there was another figure in the chair next to yours, and to your sheer luck, it was him.
Did you manifest this? All those days of you quietly trailing him as he made his way around the base, hiding quickly behind walls and pillars when he turned with confusion at your aforementioned footsteps behind him.
Okay fine, maybe you were a little stalkerish. And okay, maybeeee you were a little creepy. But he saved your life! He was quite literally your knight in shining armour, or in his case, black tactical gear.
You realized you might have been gaping a little too obviously, lips parted in barely concealed adoration as you watch his charming, white smile falter in a little awkwardness at your blatant staring. Bemused blue eyes, looking between you and Alban, sending him a look presumably meaning ‘are you catching this?’
Alban clears his throat to break your trance, cutting the silence with conversation to ease the weird tension in the room. The weird tension you caused.
“I suppose you already know Cole?”
Cole goes to introduce himself, hand out to shake yours. When you touch him, you swear you almost let out a whimper. His hand, so firm and filled with aged callouses, held yours so gently you might delude yourself into thinking he wants you to have his babies.
“I’m Cole Stewart, and you must be the famous ____ Alban has been telling me about. I have to say, he didn’t mention you were so adorable.”
Ahh, there it is. That southern hospitality. Growing up, you weren’t particularly attracted to accents. You thought it was a bit cliche when you saw girls your age fawn over British accents of celebrity heartthrobs, but the way his words roll off his tongue, sweet like cornbread, you turn putty into his hands.
Which—you’re still shaking by the way. You let go of his hand, and bring your gaze from his lips. God, can you get any more embarrassing?
“I know I’m Cole! I mean, you’re Cole. I know you’re Cole! We, we met before. You and the league went on a covert op in Portland to rescue the kidnapped researchers and I..I was one of them! So yeah we met before. You actually saved my life, and I didn’t get to thank you for it—and I am still talking, okay, I’m going to shut up now!”
Apparently..you could.
Cole purses his lips and you swear he seems a little mildly uncomfortable. His cheeks look a little red but that could be due to the terrible air conditioning the league has.
Great, first words you speak to your self proclaimed soulmate and he already thinks you’re a grade A freak.
“Okay….,” Alban chokes, clearly experiencing a wave of second hand embarrassment. “Now that introductions are wrapped up, I wanted to tell you exactly why I called you in.”
You sit up straighter when you hear Alban go from friendly, to serious. Aware that this is no laughing matter.
“We know you were with Leda Corp for quite some time before we picked you up. Now, I know you’re not a field agent but because of this, I’m aware that you know your way around one of their facilities, and how they work. How they move.” You can hear the emphasis in his voice with how he makes the words he says leave a purpose.
“Cole here will be going on a solo op, deep undercover at one of Leda Corp bases in Pennsylvania . And I want you to go with him.”
You emit a squeak as you take in everything he’s saying. From the corner of your eye you can see Cole sending you a glance from the sound you made, and you can clearly see him doubting your part in this op.
Alone…he wants you to join Cole…alone. Pennsylvania ? That’s at least a little under two days from California, not counting the stops you’ll need for fuel and sleep, and said undercover mission at the actual base.
You’re going to be alone with Cole for at least a few weeks, and you don’t know whether to jump for joy or walk out this office, straight into the armory where the league keeps their guns, and shoot yourself.
Before you can celebrate, you hear Cole huff from beside you. Apparently, not happy with this arrangement at all.
“Alban, you know I’m not an idiot. I don’t need a partner for this. I know my way around computers and I’ve done undercover ops before with ease. Frankly, I think it’s dangerous if ____ comes along. She’s not trained and that could cause a hindrance.”
Damn, way to completely block your feeble chance at romance.
Alban fixes a stare at Cole, conveying him to back down. Not to argue with him.
Cole looks like he just might not listen, lips opening and closing before he finally licks them, and swallows. He slumps against his chair, and rolls his eyes so far back he resembles a bratty teenager.
“Of course. I’ll go with Cole and help in any way he needs. Not that, he needs any help other than for the mission of course—,” you whip your head to Cole who’s staring at you in perplexity from your accidental innuendo. “I mean, I’m sure you don’t need help for the undercover part either. That wasn’t some dig at you. I’m just letting it be known I’ll be of help. Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say.”
You’re out of breath by the end of your word vomit, observing back and forth between Alban and Cole. Praying to God to let the earth swallow you whole and never let you see the light of day, since distinctly, you cannot act like a normal human being.
Cole gets up without one last glance at you, and swiftly exits the room. Without a doubt thinking to himself you were the most incompetent, and bumbling fool to ever exist.
You’re not so sure he thinks you’re adorable anymore.
Alban sighs and raises his eyebrows in contemplation. Seemingly regretting his previous instruction.
“You’ll be heading out come morning, so pack light and have a conversation with Cole on your route. The league will be giving you a car and a couple of hundred for a few stays at a motel. Once in Virginia, there’ll be a safe apartment where you two will reside and you’ll both go from there.”
You nod and get up from your seat, tripping over the carpet below you. Your hands drop on his desk to steady yourself and you look at Alban sheepishly, who now is wondering how on earth you’ve survived in the league so far.
He stares across your shoulder at the door, indicating you to leave.
You make your way to the door, and walk out.
This day will haunt you for eternity.
“There’s no way you did that.” Vida grimaced, olive toned hand coming to brush through her electric blue locks. Sometimes, you find yourself jealous of the teenager. She didn’t care for what other people thought of her, and expressed herself freely. Something you’ve always wanted to do, yet you were caught up in your awkwardness.
You were the only adult Vida was friends with—other than a certain Cate Connor. Similarly, Vida was the only person you were friends with in the league. Everybody else were mere coworkers.
You sighed and grabbed your face in your hands, stomach churning in shame and anxiety, and to be honest a little bit of lust at the thought of your encounter with Cole. God, were you a masochist?
“Sadly I did, and sadly, I can’t take it back. Just please comfort me and tell me everything will be okay and that he doesn’t hate me. Oh my God, what if he hates me? He probably thinks I’m the biggest freakazoid to step foot in the league!” You cry out, fingers gripping down on your lower eyelids.
Vida’s face morphs into one of disturbance as she watches the pinks of your eyes fill your face.
“First off, stop doing that with your face. Before he walks in and really thinks you’re a freak,”
You gape at her as you follow her instructions, arms crossing in defiance.
“Second, it probably wasn’t even that bad. I haven’t met Cole but from the way these idiots act he seems like he’s pretty nice. I don’t think he took anything personally.”
You bite your lip as you think over Vida’s sentence, hands coming to cradle your abdomen.
“No, no it was definitely bad. He seemed annoyed and I made an INNUENDO! Vida, can you believe it? I literally made it seem like I’d offer up my feminine aspects! I don’t think you understand, Vida! I MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS OFFERING SEX.”
The blue haired girl jumps back at your volume, and lifts up her arms in an ‘okay.’
“Again, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. It was a simple mistake.”
You cry out as you shout, “IN FRONT OF HIS BOSS.”
Vida finally allows herself to express her true thoughts on the matter, unable to comfort you in your situation. Her expression is one of horror as she says, “honestly, yeah, that’s downright fucking terrible. I’m actually feeling sorry that you exist right now.”
You dramatically slide down the wall of her room, basically sobbing to your heart's content.
“I don’t think I can do this..I never want to face Cole ever again.”
She watches you bitch and moan until she rolls her eyes and gets up from her bed, sitting across you to grab ahold of your shoulders.
“____, it’s okay. In a few days time he’ll forget about this and you’ll be skipping your way across the United States, hand in hand, eloping on the east coast.”
You sniffle, hands coming to wipe the snot from your nose. “Really?” You hopelessly mutter, face filled with pathetic love.
“No! Who forgets a first impression like that? I honestly pity the both of you.”
Your jaw is hanging open as you view Vida, she smiles innocently and brings up her ring clad hands to push up and close your jaw. Shrugging in mock sorry.
You don’t stop crying that night.
You feel a wave of deja vu wash over you when you see one of the familiar black, league suvs parked in front of the facility. A pretty blond sits on the hood of the car, arms folded across themselves as he waits patiently for somebody.
That somebody being you.
While Alban had insisted on you and Cole conversing over the plan for the op, tying up any loose ends to be as quiet and neat as possible, you two actually hadn’t seen each other since the meeting. Which you were partly grateful for and partly not. You were glad you didn’t have to see more of Cole yesterday after that horrific encounter, but now you have to face him with no idea on how to go from there.
Cole was dressed in all black, chest covered in a t-shirt and legs clad in jeans. His sparkling belt twinkled in the sunlight if you paid close enough attention, which you always did to anything pertaining Cole and finally the star of it all—his beautiful leather jacket. He really did look like he walked out of every teenage girl’s bad boy fantasy.
When he spotted you, he sent a dazzling smile. That honestly surprised you.
Did he forget about yesterday? Maybe Vida was wrong, maybe he didn’t care. Maybeee He had an epiphany and realized you’re the love of his life and he definitely dreamt about you last night too.
Cole hopped off the car and walked towards you with the posture of someone who has never felt a day of insecurity in their lives. Spine straight, shoulders back, head held high. Once he was in front of you, he moved to grab the duffel in your hand, and motioned for you to follow him to the backseat of the SUV for you to place your backpack filled with necessities.
Once he placed your pathetic excuse of luggage in the back, he swung the door closed and dusted off his hands together. “Well, that should do it.”
You eye him as he opens the passenger door for you and he watches as you buckle in, a glint in his eyes when he hears you mumble a “thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he smirks. And closes the door after him.
You survey him from the windshield as he makes his way to the driver seat, buckling himself in and inserting the key to start the ignition.
He turns his head to you and gives you a pointed look.
“Ready?”
You’re ashamed to say you gawked for a few seconds before stuttering, “y..yes.”
Cole whistles out an elongated ‘okay,’ and drums his fingers on the wheel, before turning to you again and releases out,
“As much as it is flattering, no more innuendos, K?”
Your mouth drops to form an “O” and you continue to stare at him, petrified, as he nonchalantly pulls out of the driveway without a care in the world. Starting your route across the continental United States.
He did not forget about yesterday. Vida was right, and he did care. He didn’t have some sort of epiphany and you are not the love of his life. Instead of dreaming about you, he probably had a nightmare.
When you and Cole finally talk, it’s sunset. Eight hours into your journey. You’ve crossed two state lines now, California to Nevada, and now, Nevada into Utah.
It wasn’t hard getting past government checkpoints, since you were both adults and weren’t hiding possible psi teenagers in the car. So everything went relatively smoothly.
Cole had turned on the radio about thirty minutes ago, humming along to the song that was playing. Surprisingly, the track that was on was one of your favorites.
Wow, can he get any more perfect? Beautiful and great taste in music. Talk about a killer combo.
Cole clicks his tongue before he glances at you, blinking a few times before bringing his eyes back to the road.
“So, how old are you?” he probes, tone sounding seemingly disinterested.
“Twenty-five, although I’ll be twenty-six soon.”
He nods and contemplates answering your unspoken question, your overt curiosity of his age hanging in the air.
He appears to drop the conversation, and you believe that’s the end of your short lived schizophrenic romantic tension.
Until you notice the way he fidgets in his seat and his sultry voice fills the car.
“I’m twenty-one. Just turned though.”
Twenty-one?! There is no way this casanova of a man is TWENTY-ONE. You can’t believe you’ve been acting a fool for a younger man. Five years wasn’t a big difference, but you’re still feeling like a cougar.
“Oh.. you’re, you’re a little on the young side.”
You curse yourself for stammering.
“Well don’t let my age stop you now, sweetheart.”
You’re sure he can see you short circuit from his peripheral vision from the pet name he uses. You clasp your hands together in caution to keep them away from the button of your jeans, in case you start taking off your pants in a pink clouded judgement.
“Relax, sweetheart. You’re so jumpy it kind of makes me antsy.”
When you don’t reply, Cole continues.
“You know your behavior rubs off on people right? So, if you’re chill, I’m chill. Got that?”
You try to focus on his words, but your brain locks onto the word ‘rubs’ and shuts off. You know what you want to be rubbing on.
You bring a hand up to your hair, skillfully looping it around your fingers in an attempt to calm yourself.
“Sorry, I’m just a little awkward.”
“A little?” He deadpans.
“Okay, a lot. I wasn’t the most popular growing up so I didn’t have much peer socialization and I guess that stuck throughout the years.”
He bites his lip in thought, “I can see that.”
Wow, way to kick a girl while she’s down. Now that you’ve exchanged approximately a hundred and eighty-one words with Cole (yes, you’ve been keeping count), it’s safe to say he’s a bit of a jerk. He’s not the rudest person on earth, no, but he weaponizes his sweet smile and southern charm, to appeal to others when he’s really a hidden asshole.
“Sorry, not everyone wants to be a perfect Cole Stewart.” You reply, scoffing.
“Not everyone can be.”
You narrow your eyes, what the fuck is this? Gossip girl?
Does he think you’re in a shitty 2000s drama? Because if you were, it wouldn’t be gossip girl. It would be pretty little liars, and Cole’s devilish ass would be A.
If Cole notices he’s upset you, he doesn’t show it. And frankly, you’re not sure he cares.
“You’re a bit full of yourself. Has anyone told you that?”
Cole gives you his award winning smirk, blue eyes snapping to you and back to the road all in a second.
“Only everyone who’s ever met me, yeah.”
“Well it’s not cute.”
He throws his head back in laughter, and kisses his teeth in small confusion. Unsure of where your sudden hostility came from.
“Down girl, I’m kind of missing you from a day ago. Innuendos and all.”
And just like that, you’re back to that blushing, ridiculous mess he’d had you in since the moment you saw him.
Missing you? Oh my God, he said he misses you? Of course he’s teasing, but you’ll lock that sentence away for the next time you daydream about him. Maybe in a scenario where he comes back from an op, touch starved and a lonely mess. Begging for you and—wait, you still haven’t answered.
“W..what? You, what are you, huh..?”
He lifts his eyebrows in mock surprise. Looking at you and shaking his head, “didn’t know it’d be that easy to get that version of you back.
“Say, do you act like this around any other guys? Because I’d say I get pretty jealous, and I don’t like to share.”
You think your heart skipped a beat. No, no you’re sure your heart skipped a beat and you haven’t felt it pulse since you noticed and how are you still alive, is your heart still beating? Maybe you should tell Cole to stop by the hospital, wait, no, that’s dangerous. Maybe he can give you a once over? If your heart stopped you’d think he know, would he give you cpr? His large hands pressing repeatedly down on your chest, big enough to maybe cup one of your boobs? Oh god, now you’re thinking of him breathing air into your lungs and now you really want Cole to administer cpr—
“…Yahoo? Earth to easily flustered girl? Are you there? Or did I break you?”
And as quick as he had you, he lost you again with that.
BREAK YOU?
Cole is roaring with laughter right now. Finding large amounts of humour in your current predicament.
“It really is that easy with you, wow. I can’t lie, I am greatly amused right now.”
He’s driving with his right hand as he places his left elbow on the window, head placed on his left palm.
“Man, I’m beat,” he yawns. “Let’s grab a stay at a motel tonight. Although we don’t have enough funds to get two rooms, so please, keep your hands to yourself. Alright?”
“As if I’d ever put my hands on you!”
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
Booking a room at Rosa’s Inn was fairly easy. You and Cole posed as obsessed, newlyweds. Stumbling into the lobby, playing perfectly drunk on love with each other. It took a bit of convincing on his end, ‘we can’t let them be even a little bit suspicious, I’m not that old, remember?’
Living in a post-apocalyptic world where young people are scrutinized and taken to camps sure does suck.
Cole steps out of the room’s bathroom, hot steam pouring out from his even hotter shower. His skin is a hue of a rosary shade of pink, stray water droplets falling down his bare chest. He doesn’t seem to mind his semi-clothed state, as he tightens the towel wrapped around his waist and makes his way to his backpack. Pulling out a fresh pair of pajama pants.
“Hello? Put a shirt on as well!” You call out, face blooming into a blush.
Cole moves to face you, hands on his hips as he takes you in with his eyes. You’re bundled up beneath the blanket with a book on your lap. He’s not sure which number it is, but he thinks you’re reading Harry Potter.
“This is how I sleep, sweetheart. Don’t like? Don’t look. However, I really doubt the fact you don’t like it.”
You slam your book shut and place it on the nightstand, sticking your nose up to him.
“You sure do have a chatty mouth.”
Cole crawls onto the bed you now realize is not as big as you had originally thought, body mere inches from yours.
“Yeah, yeah. You should see my brother’s.”
You tilt your head.
“Brother?”
Cole winces, and you realize he didn’t mean to let that slip. You wonder if you should do the good samaritan move and let it go, but after all his bitchy remarks today—you won’t.
“I didn’t know you had a brother.”
He leans back against the headboard and closes his eyes, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
You study his face. Not caring at the fact he can feel you analyzing him.
“How old is he?”
Cole swallows so slowly, you fear he might have a lump stuck in his throat.
“He’s seventeen. My liam, he’s seventeen.”
You're afraid Cole can make out the pity in your voice you try to drown out. “Seventeen? That would mean…do you know if he’s safe? Is he in a camp?”
Cole sits up and avoids eye contact, his tone clipped when he says
“Yes! No.., I don’t know. Last I heard he was in Caledonia. A camp in Ohio. There was talk of an escape but most of the prisoners were killed in the process.”
You bring your hand out in an attempt to comfort him, freezing in the air when you see him move away from your touch. You steadily bring it back down into your lap.
“I’m sure wherever he is, he’s fine, Cole. If he’s anything like you.”
Cole lets your words seep into the room. The fingers on his right hand fiddling with each other.
“What about you? Any siblings?”
You shake your head no and pause when you realize he probably can’t see you facing the other direction. Though with the way Cole acts, he has eyes and ears everywhere.
“No, no siblings. I’m an only child.”
Cole quietly chuckles, no sign of humor in sight.
“Must be nice, huh. No younger siblings to worry about with psi, old enough to not be inspected with paranoia in public. Lucky you..” you don’t take offense to the blatant bitterness he venomously spits out.
You move a little closer to him on the bed and you swear he takes a sharp inhale of breath.
“You’re old enough too, Cole. A few years older than the age cut off of IAAN.”
You survey him as he looks back at you and grins, the kind of fake one people do when they’re hiding something bigger.
“Right. You’re right. I was old enough.”
He lays flat back on the bed and pulls the covers up his body; you take that as a sign to shut off the lamp and follow suit.
While he faces up, you face towards him. On your side.
“Do you think our world will go back to how it used to be?” You say so softly, you’re unaware if he’s heard it.
Your breath hits his neck and if the lights were on, you’d see the goosebumps trailing his anatomy.
He turns his figure to face you and you’re so close you can practically taste him if you dream hard enough.
In the dark, your eyes make out his dead blue ones on yours. And it’s like you can finally witness all the traumatic wounds he’s acquired in his lifetime.
“It’s never going to happen.”
And just like that, your fantasy comes crashing down.
Because you know Cole isn’t talking about your world.
He’s talking about the two of you.
When he turns his back to you, you wait at least thirty minutes before you let yourself cry. Tears soaking the pillow beneath you. You try your best to conceal your sniffles, a few ugly snorts leaving your voice box.
If your eyes weren’t soaking in tears, you might’ve seen a not so asleep, and very much awake Cole tense up. His body seeking a path deeper into the comforter.
Two hearts breaking that night.
Ten hours and a state line later, you’re closer to Colorado than you are to the rest of Wyoming. Cole was speaking to you freely, last night’s blues long gone from his mind. You were even driving now, taking over to let his cramping arms rest. You suppose it’s for the best that he doesn't entertain you…entertain a relationship..a relationship with you. He doesn’t need you distracted for the mission and you need to be prepared for anything.
His attitude towards you now has mellowed you out a bit—you think. He hasn’t said a word to purposely fluster you and get your panties in a twist, which was progress in of itself.
The forest’s greenery is all you drive by on the deserted highway, misty air fogging the pavement.
Cole is curled on his seat, leather jacket off his shoulders; instead, it’s laid across his body—acting as a blanket.
He might be napping.
Or he might be avoiding an exchange with you.
Who knows? You’re just glad you don’t have to look him in the eye, because you’re not confident in your ability to hold back your tears.
Cole twitches in his sleep, eyeballs hastily moving underneath his closed lids.
You try to ignore his weird movement and focus on the road, but Cole’s soft breaths went from slow, to a heavy drag. Lungs pushing out more air than in.
He’s shivering now, not so much to wake actually wake himself.
There’s a car on the road. You admire the shining color of the ruby red sedan in front of your SUV.
You drive for minutes longer until you cannot ignore Cole anymore. What started as a shiver has transcended into consistent compulsing. Worry trickling your voice as you attempt to lure him from his warring slumber.
“I’m sorry,
I’m sorry…I don’t
…claire.”
You struggle to make out the words he’s articulating, his dialogue thick with sleep.
You’re scared and you don’t know what to do, don’t know how to wake him up without having your gaze leave the windshield. Hell, you don’t even know why you’re driving! You’ve never been a good driver to begin with. Cole is shaking so hard now you’re terrified he’s having a seizure. He speaks clearer now, still stuck in a state of sleep.
“Liam don’t leave, they’ll help us. You can’t leave. You can’t leave me. You’re all I have left now.”
You lift your eyes to him and let one hand grab him, shaking him to awareness.
“Cole! Cole please, wake up. It’s just a nightmare. It’s not real!”
You’re dubious as to if he can hear you from within his little comatose state, so you try again. Harder.
“Cole, goddamn it, wake up!”
You look back at the road and literally scream in fear as you almost hit the red sedan from earlier and pull off on the gas to create some distance.
“Fuck you, Cole! This is all your fault. If you don’t wake up, I’ll never forgive you. Wait, I take it back. I’m sorry! I will forgive you. I do forgive you. Whatever is happening right now in there, you got through it. So, please just wake up. You’re scaring me and I’m not good with this kind of stuff. I need you…so just please—”
His eyes splinter open, then immediately shut, flinching from the blinding, penetrative light of the outside world. He sits up in his seat and his jacket falls from his body.
“Alright, alright, woman. You can stop screaming now.”
You rotate to him in glee and relief, “Cole! Thank God you’re awake. You scared me—”
You should’ve paid more attention to the way Cole’s sleepy face goes from fatigued, to down right horror-struck. And you definitely should’ve paid more attention to the road as you whip back so fast you almost break your neck, but it’s too late. In all likelihood, you’re positive you lost your voice from the unholy screech you bestowed into the car. Your SUV collides with that same red sedan and slides off the road; into the highway’s ditch.
It’s soundless for what feels like forever, the only audible thing being yours and Cole's haggard breathing.
Soon, he breaks the tranquility.
“What was it you were saying about needing me?”
Eventually, you’re back on the road. This time, with Cole in the driver’s seat.
It’s been two days and a half since your early visit to the grave and you are at last in Kansas, 3,000 miles into your journey.
Cole mentioned stopping at a grocery store to stock up on quick food (and to siphon gas from nearby cars, which you were impressed with the first time you saw him doing it)
Your legs ache from being in a vehicle for more than twelve hours each day, but you couldn’t complain. Not after the shit you got you both into.
Cole parks behind the store, the car hidden from view. He twists the key and slips it into his now blue jeans pockets, turning to you to say,
“Go on ahead and find some food for us to eat. I’m gonna go and do my thing.”
You listen without a fuss, and keep conscious of your surroundings. Making yourself acquainted with the cars parked in front.
There’s one car, two cars, red car, blue car—hold up, why were you reciting Dr. Seus? You must be losing your mind.
As you continue walking you abruptly stop. Red car? You leisurely twirl around and really look at the aforementioned tincan.
That’s definitely the same sedan you crashed into!
Call it a coincidence or fate, you just hope they don’t recognize you and demand a bill for reparations.
You’re in the abandoned supermarket, browsing the aisles as you pick anything that sounds even remotely filling. Stomach grumbling in anticipation at the calorie filled “dinner” you’ll be having with Cole tonight.
Hehe, like a date!
You’re giggling to yourself without a care in the world until you fix your gaze up and make eye contact with brown eyes. Eyes that are definitely not Cole’s. Eyes that flash blue and you’re sent thrown back, spine colliding into the very sharp edges of the shelves.
“Fucking shit…” you groan, eyes rolled back into your head from the pain. Stupid fucking super-powered kids, now teenagers are even more pains in the asses.
“C’mon let's go, Priya. Just—just leave it there’s no time!”
You move to sit up and again, you are sent down. Face pushed into the floor.
“Dude! What’s your deal? I won’t snitch!” You bark, teeth grinding against each other to stop the moans of pain from leaving your throat.
“Yeah right, like I’d believe anything an adult says.” The brown skinned boy snarls, his emotions so strong the veins on his neck are protruding from beneath his skin.
The girl he called out too, Priya, grabs his arms and pulls him back. Head shaking in disagreement at the unnecessary amount of force he’s using on you.
“Let’s just go, she’s not worth it.”
And with that, they disappear out of the store. A car’s ignition fading out of sound as it drives off.
You’re still on the floor rubbing your back when Cole walks in, his boots crunching on chip bags and soda cans in disarray. When he sees you he tilts his head in skepticism.
“What…,what happened here?”
You close your eyes and lay on the ground, in a moment to ground yourself.
“You don’t even want to know blondie.”
You wish that was the last time you encountered those kids who thoroughly kicked your ass, but of course the universe wasn’t on your side.
Maybe this is what you get for being nosy. You should really mind your business sometimes. Better yet, glue yourself to Cole’s back so he doesn’t have to wind up in the messes you cause.
It’s a day later when you see Priya and the boy again, their striking red car now outside of a stranded mall.
You were only supposed to walk in, do a look around for anything you needed and walk out as Cole siphons gas again.
In spite of that, you couldn’t ignore the sobs coming from above you as you sneakily hid behind many of the damaged counters. Climbing your way up the dead escalators with the sound of a mouse.
“It’s okay Priya, I’ll get us out of these. He won’t be back until a few minutes. Please, stop crying.”
Priya doesn’t respond and continues to choke on her own spit, the fear evident in how she breaks her voice bawling.
“After everything..we’ll go back again. I don’t want to go back to that stupid camp. Where we’ll be separated.”
The boy lets out a whine at Priya’s agony, desperately trying to say anything to help her feel better.
“We won’t! We won’t! Don’t worry, I’ll save us. I will.”
He stops his reassurances when he hears your footsteps. You know they’re thinking you’re probably the skip tracer who caught them, and you’re feeling extra bad you haven’t announced your presence otherwise.
The boy glares when he sees you and you haven’t seen a look of hatred that bad since you accidentally stole Callie’s science books in the fourth grade.
“You!” He hisses, anger taking over his senses.
“Me?” You exclaimed
“I knew you were a good for nothing skip tracer. You’re all such pathetic, lowly cunts.”
You bring your hands up in offense
“Woah, I’m no skip tracer. I’m actually going to be your white knight because I am releasing you.”
You walk over behind Priya and undo the knots in the rope, the girl immediately rushing to her friend’s side to mirror your actions.
When she’s done, they both rub at their raw wrists. You know they’re doubting your intentions but you don’t mind. It’s hard being a teenager in this world now.
Priya is the first to speak up. She’s clutching the boy’s arm into her chest from behind him. Her words are basically squeaking out of her.
“Why did you help us…”
You watch for a second and are simply unsure of what to say. You know why you helped. Because it’s wrong and kids should never be in those godforsaken camps. Yet you’re having trouble voicing it out loud.
The boy has enough of your silence and his eyes spark cerulean again, but doesn’t do anything but intimidate you. “Well then, go on. Answer her.”
“It was the right thing to do. Of course I’ll help. I don’t like or trust the camps. And I definitely hate skip tracers even more. So there was only one real option left to do.”
The two give each other a glance and seem to communicate with their eyes. You can see something deeper in them than friendship. The care he handles her with as he grabs her tiny hands into his, the admiration that practically bubbles out of her for him.
They look at you and give you little smiles, well at least Priya did. Curly haired boy just curled his lip.
“Well, whatever it was, thanks. You saved our asses right now.”
“Yay, time for celebration.” You joke as you pump your fists in the air, but that’s short lived as you hear the sound of frequency fill the room. The teenagers crumpled to the floor in pain, screams of terror in the air.
You turn to look at your intruder and get pistol whipped across the face, the force of it reeling you on the ground.
You can’t even bring yourself up to defend you and these vulnerable kids because you have a gun now pointed at you, with a very trigger happy man behind it.
“You bitch! These are my captures. My rewards. I’ll be damned if I let some thieving bitch steal my money.” He spits, saliva spraying your face.
“You are one sick son of a bitch, you know that?”
He eyes you with mock pity, thin lips frowning in sarcasm.
“Whatever darling, you should’ve stayed out of my way.”
He maneuvers around you to get to Priya and her boyfriend, and you just can’t. You can’t let anything get in between this sweet boy and his even sweeter girlfriend. They’re just kids. They don’t deserve to get seperated. And you don’t know what compels you. Maybe this moment takes you back to the night at the hotel. Cole opening up for the love he has for his brother Liam, the suffering he endures from the separation of his brother. You see the same look of love in Priya’s eyes, in her boyfriend’s. Not quite the same type of love, but love nonetheless.
That is why you get up, with all your might, and run towards him. Arms stretched out to do something—anything, to get him away from them.
He whirls around and brings his weapon back up, barrel an inch in front of your face
“Oh, no you don’t—”
Bang
You never knew what death felt like. You always thought it’d be something quick and fast, like a flash. Hitting you so hard you cannot recover. Then nothing. Just darkness. Not even misery.
You never knew what death felt like. And today, you don’t have to as you watch the bloodied body of the skip tracer fall to the floor. You’re confused as your hands fly to your face, dabbing it all over in happiness that it wasn’t blown off.
You peek up and see who you now want to be the father of your babies, Cole, standing there with a gun in his hand. A gun he had to use because you couldn’t stay in one place.
He tucks his firearm underneath his jeans, as he trips over to you. Legs moving so fast, he almost loses his balance.
Cole grabs your face in his hands and you’ve never seen him look so scared before.
“What were you thinking!”
It slaps you as you come to the conclusion you could’ve died today and tears well up in your eyes. Small drops of water streaming down your face.
“I don’t..I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry Cole. I’m such a fuck up. I don’t listen, I get us into car crashes, and now..now,”
He calms down as he considers your crying, hands now falling off your forefront and onto your waist. Pulling you into a hug.
“It’s okay. Really, It’s okay sweetheart. I’m not..I’m not mad. Calm down, okay?” He strives to soothe you, but it doesn’t help.
He hauls away from your ear to yell out
“Can somebody turn that fucking thing off?”
Priya and her boyfriend scramble to the device, setting it off. Sighs of relief leave them as their mind and ears recover from the attack.
If you weren’t so busy crying, hanging onto Cole’s body for support, you would’ve noticed the effect the frequency had on him. Almost like it hurt him. Same way it hurt Priya and her boyfriend.
The black boy, who you now know as Kalil, shocks you with a hug. You can feel a wet spot on your shoulder as he thanks you for saving his Priya, for saving him. When he pulls back, he schools his expression.
That tough boy act will never leave him as long as he has Priya around to protect.
When Priya goes to thank you, she squeezes you so tight you can’t breathe. You rub her back until she deems it okay to let go.
Cole waits in the SUV as you say your goodbye to the psi teenagers, and they make their way into their red car. Driving off into the beautiful Kansas sunset. Never for you to see again.
You watch Cole as he angrily paces back and forth in front of you in the rusty, dingy motel you found yourselves in. His shirt is clinging to his form as he lifts his arms to hold his face in his hands, the sleeves straining against his biceps.
You know he’s upset at you. You tried so hard to avoid his line of sight throughout this whole op. You don’t know when his attitude toward you shifted—where that initial southern hospitality went. Well, wherever it is, you hope it finds its way back because you don’t think you can deal with this aggravated Cole anymore.
And you know—you know you should be apologizing for almost getting you two compromised. Your near death probably traumatizing him further. Adding to the already heavy baggage he has to carry. But you can’t help the way your eyes unconsciously rake across his form, his booted feet all but silently stomping inside the room. You always knew Cole was stunning, hell that’s why you have a stupid, school girl crush on him, but the way he looks now, arms littered with scars, old and new, black cargo pants held up with a belt, you just can’t stop yourself. And you know you should be on your knees right now begging for forgiveness, yet here you are now imagining yourself on your knees for something completely different.
“I can’t leave you alone for one second without you getting hurt, can I?” He seeths, teeth gritted together as if he were in pain.
You lick your lips and bite down on your bottom, eyebrows downcast in shame as his disappointment fills you.
“I..I’m sorry, I, I didn’t know what to do—”
Cole cuts you off with a sharp look, boots padding over to stand in front of you. He’s never been this close to you before. Up close, you can see all the scars littered across his skin from years of training. His blue eyes are like the deepest depths of the ocean, light long gone from the world’s beating. You don’t know what’s worse, staring straight into his eyes maintaining the strongest of eye contact you’ve ever held in your twenty three years of living, or staring at his plush pink lips that you know are about to form a sentence that will hurt you deep into your core.
“That’s the thing! You never know what to do. You’re always going around and being reckless, almost getting us caught. God, I should’ve just pushed to do this myself. You’re irresponsible and you don’t know what you’re doing.”
With every word he spits out he takes a step forward, and you take a step back.
“You’re a liability! A nuisance. You could’ve gotten yourself killed, which you almost did. Hell, you could’ve gotten me killed. Do you not think about the safety of your team members?”
He keeps going, and going, and he doesn’t stop. Not until your knees hit the back of the motel’s bed and you drop onto it with a soft plop.
You look up at him and hope he can see the apology in your eyes. The sincere regret you’re trying and desperately failing to convey. Wet eyes shaking back and forth between his as you whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“I just wanted to help them. They were scared and they were hurt. And so, so in love. I couldn’t let anything happen to them. I just couldn’t.”
Something in his expression shifts as he watches you come undone at the seams, your face scrunched up in agony as if the mere thought of those two kids losing each other kills you.
Cole doesn’t know what crazy projection you placed onto those two kids, Kalil and Priya, is doing to you. Are you envious of their love? He doesn’t get why a grown woman is losing control over her dignity over an emotion so flickering as romantic love.
Cole knows you have a crush on him. It was fairly obvious the first day he laid eyes on you, wasn’t the first day you laid eyes on him. At least that’s what he thought until he introduced himself and you stammered out an ‘I know I’m Cole! I mean, you’re Cole. I know you’re Cole! We, we met before. You and the league went on a covert op in Portland to rescue the kidnapped researchers and I..I was one of them! So yeah we met before. You actually saved my life, and I didn’t get to thank you for it—and I am still talking, okay, I’m going to shut up now!’
Cole remembered thinking damn, you need an adderall. He also remembered the familiar feeling of burning in his veins, the fire flushing his skin a subtle red—he doesn’t know whether his psi abilities caused his blush, or if his blush—and by extension you, caused the flame to ignite his body.
You were pretty. There’s no denying that, maybe even beautiful. Your complexion was glistening with a little sweat in the dark room, whether that was from the adrenaline earlier, or the warmth of fire radiating off his body he now recognizes as his psi powers reacting to you, he doesn’t know. But that doesn’t stop him from doing what he does next. Maybe he should’ve given it more thought. You were four years older than him; closer to five—which wasn’t a lot but you were already an adult when the IAAN disease broke out. You’ve seen life, probably had your rebellious teenage phase, partying and drinking and all. Yet he felt so much older than you, it felt wrong. He felt the need to protect you, shelter you from broken and dangerous things. He doesn’t know where this feeling came from, but right now, in this room, he is the most broken and dangerous thing.
And as that last thought leaves him, Cole kisses you.
His lips move against yours, hungrily trying to capture all of your taste. He can feel your confusion from the way he went from a hundred to a thousand all in the span of five minutes, but he doesn’t stop. Your soft lips hesitantly start to push back against his and he feels your hands slide up beneath his shirt, onto his waist. He releases a sharp breath from the feel of your cold hands on his chest, palms no doubt feeling the burning sensation circulating his body.
“Cole, Cole you’re heating up..” You try to whisper into his mouth but he lets out a dismissive hum, his kisses distracting you from your remark.
“Ignore it,” he purrs. He should really back off you now, he can feel his control slipping from the hold he has on his red abilities but he can’t stop. He physically needs you against him, on him, he’s sure now that any other woman is completely ruined for him because of you.
He moves back to pull you up with him, off the bed. Cole breathes out a “jump” that you obediently listen to, legs wrapping around his taut waist. He’s still kissing you, not once leaving your form as he moves across the room to push you up against the wall. He can feel your lungs desperately grasping for air, as your hands slide up his biceps, neck, and finally to his head; fingers scratching at the roots of his military cropped, blond hair.
He finally lets go to inhale, head moving into the space beside your head. You take this as an invitation to wrap both hands around his nape, lips sensually placing open mouth kisses on his neck.
And he lets you have this—have the moment you’ve been fantasizing about since you met him. He lets you touch him, kiss him, as you slowly rock against his pelvis. He knows he’s whimpering like a teenage boy; like a pathetic virgin. But isn’t that what he is? Cole is twenty one, which made him fifteen when IAAN happened. And life wasn’t normal after that—he didn’t get to party, didn’t get to be a troublemaker teen. He feels inadequate for you—he doesn’t know how to please you. And God, does he want to please you.
Cole knows you’re experienced, well, enough experience to embarrassingly overshadow his lack thereof; if the way you’re making him feel is enough to go off of. He lets you keep going, wetting his neck and finally making your way back to his mouth, his eyes open in minor shock when you push your tongue down his throat but close again as he lets you lead. Cole can feel the hand he has pressed to the wall start sizzling, eyes opening to the burn mark he’s made on the tarnished wall. He feels you release him to inspect the sound and he can’t let you know he’s a red. It would physically kill him to give you the knowledge that he was unlucky enough to be the exception to the age cut off of IAAN. So what he does next honestly will take his ego a million years to recover.
Cole moves the hand on the wall to the back of your skull, locking you in place as he loudly pants into your mouth to distract you. If he was anyone but Cole, but the man you had an infatuation on, he knows this obnoxious moaning would be a turn off rather than a turn on. And he lets himself relish in it for a second, let’s himself obsess over the fact that anything he does—enchants you. And he allows himself to love it.
Cole tightens his grip on your thighs and hauls your bodies back, sauntering over to the bed.
You can’t actually believe this is happening.
You. Cole. You and Cole. You and Cole kissing.
This must be a reward from the universe for your good deed today. Thank you Kalil and Priya, you chant in your head.
Cole is the most gentle you’ve seen him. Paying extra detail to the way he handles you. He’s hovering above you like a hunter to prey, but in this minute he’s caring for you like no other.
His hands smooth down your sides, reaching the bottom of your shirt. He leans off your mouth to attach his lips to your ear, whispering, “do you mind?”
Mind? Do I mind? You almost tell him he can do whatever the hell he wants with you for as long as he pleases in a love induced hysteria but you choke out a “no” and he pulls your shirt off of you.
You watch Cole breathe you in, his flushed cheeks painting his pale skin. You think he looks a little shy but you brush it off, there’s no way Cole’s ever shy.
Cole grabs your hands and sets it on his hips, wanting you to mimic his actions.
And oh my God, you’re UNDRESSING COLE STEWART.
His shirt is off in the next second, your tops thrown to the ground. You graze up his chest, liking the way his abs constrict with his inhales. You take notice of his light pink nipples, the color complimenting the rest of his complexion.
He stops your gawking with his tongue, teeth clashing in a dominating battle.
What happens that night is both a curse and a blessing.
Something between you and Cole had changed.
You’re not quite sure if it’s for better or worse.
It’s now been a week into your way across the United States. Two days since that fateful night, and five since the beginning. You and Cole have reached your designated safehouse (re: apartment) and already called your rooms.
Now a matter of wait before you embark on Leda Corp’s doors.
Your Leda ID badges were waiting for you on the coffee table, stolen from two Michigan native employees who were supposed to start this month, but had received a call from their Leda to let them know they won’t be needing their services anymore.
That call being from the league. In reality, Leda will be needing services. Just not from those two.
Your ID reads “Inanna Sparks,” one of the mentioned employees. And when you tilt your head to catch a glimpse of Cole’s, you see a “Spencer D. Sparks.”
Huh, they must’ve been married.
You and Cole don’t talk for the two day wait period. It’s awkward and suffocating getting used to live with someone else, even when you know this will all end sooner rather than later.
You’re just begging for your first official day to start.
The first day on the job takes you back to the time of your capture. The ceiling in this base is higher, but all Leda Corp facilities look almost identical. You're dressed in a tight, office pencil dress. The cloth muted in color. Your lab coat hangs off your body almost perfectly, copying the perfect fit of your shoes.
When you had impatiently waited for Cole in the morning, heels repeatedly tapped the ground. You swear he paused from your outfit. No doubt taken aback.
Surveying his clothes, a blue button up tucked into grey slacks. An identical to your lab coat hanging from his shoulders.
“They sure didn’t hold back with your wardrobe.” He commented, blue eyes diverting back to his pockets to fish out the car keys. Undoubtedly trying to conceal the hunger that resides in his chest.
“Can’t say the same for you. You look plain.”
“Haha, very funny.”
You were doing a day’s work, fingers memorizing the smooth feeling of the keys. Everytime your coworkers call out to you to remind you of your break, you let them know you wouldn’t be taking one to appear as if you’d not want to disappoint. When you were really trying your damn best to get into their software.
Fuck, when did their system get so advanced?
You didn’t see much of Cole, or Spencer you should say. Spencer, your husband. Since he worked in another department, but you know you’ll be clocking out together. Making your way to your temporary home.
Twelve days into your op, you hit a breakthrough. You finally broke down their firewalls and made your way into their files containing everything they had on IAAN. And when you say everything, you mean everything.
Quickly log out your assigned computer and stand from your desk. Heels clicking the ground as you make your way out of the lab.
Where did Cole say he worked again?
You maneuver your way through the white halls, the smell reminding you of a busy hospital.
You turn a corner and bump into a solid chest, head banging against it so hard you see stars.
“Sorry!” You murmur, and keep your head down as you attempt to walk by them.
“Sweetheart, it’s me.”
You spin on your heel to face him.
“Cole! I was just trying to find you.”
“I know, I felt your want two miles away.”
You’re offended and lightly shove him back, his hands coming up to stop your wrists.
“I’m being serious. I think I found what we need.”
“You found the,” he stops himself. He analyzes the hallway before deeming it unsafe to conversate. Grabbing your forearm as he drags you to a room he’s somehow acquainted with.
Shutting the door behind him, Cole starts blurting his question.
“The cure. You found the cure to IAAN?”
You nod brainlessly, skull moving up and down in a swift motion.
Cole permits out a sound mixed between a laugh, and gasp. Overjoyed with your share of research.
He licks his lips and runs his hand through his now slightly longer, short hair.
“Okay, okay this is what we’re going to do. We’re going to sneak in through the back tomorrow and download everything we need and then get the hell out of here.”
Cole still looks in shock. You know he’s excited about the information. Already brimming with curiosity.
He notices you eyeing him and you feel sparks fly in the room. Your breathing is the only audible thing ricocheting off the walls.
And then he kisses you. He kisses you so hard your legs give out. That doesn’t deter him though, because he just moves to hold you up by your waist. Lifting you slightly off the ground, a singular stiletto slipping off your feet.
You hear the door swing open and a throat clear. Cole moves away from you after he knows you’re able to hold your own weight. You kneel down to fix your shoe, and move back up to hastily tidy your coat.
The man at the door is slightly older, glasses perched on his large nose. He looks disappointed and disgusted at your unprofessional behavior.
“Please, pick another room next time.”
And he walks out.
Cole spins around to you and feels the need to explain himself.
“I didn’t know what else to do. We would’ve look suspicious—”
You hope he doesn’t see the sadness in your face as you lift your arm up to stop him.
“I know..I know. It’s…okay.”
“..is it?”
Cole rolls his eyes, and you know he’s about to pick an argument.
“So what? You just let me kiss you and we won’t talk about it?”
You’re bewildered and are at a loss for words.
“It was for the mission what is there to say..you’re the one who kissed me.”
His features are enraged, mouth curled into a snarl. You know his fists are closed without even having to take a sneak.
“Oh, so was having sex for the mission too?”
Cole knows he crossed the line when you step so far back away from him, he thinks you’re ready to sprint out the door.
He knows he crossed the line. Distinctly because he’s the one that said nothing will happen between you. He didn’t even have to imply it your first night together. He practically painted a sign and attached it to your figure with the words Hey! yeah I’m talking to you loser! We’ll never be together!!
You purse your lips to hold back the water in your eyes.
You don’t even give him the satisfaction of a reply and walk out the door.
You and Cole don’t make up till the night after your break in of Leda Corp.
You guys make your way back to your apartment and you watch as Cole sews the flash drive into his jacket.
He lifts it into the air with a content smile, displaying a startling resemblance of rafiki with simba.
“And there we go. Covert op finished with a breeze.”
Cole finishes with hesitance, bothered by your lack of enthusiasm.
As if fed up with your attitude, he drops the jacket to stand up. Feet taking him to sit in the sofa across from you.
“Come onnn, what’s it going to take for you to talk to me again?”
“An apology, perhaps.” You glare.
He swings his head side to side and tongues his cheek.
“Okay, totally fair,
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said and I was wrong and I shouldn’t have let myself get so angry.”
You know he’s guilty from the way you see the fidgeting of his right fingers. The noticeable tick you picked up on your first few hours driving together.
You face your lap with your hands clasped together. Not wanting to look at Cole in fear you’ll forgive him.
But he’s persistent, you’ll give him that. As he gets up to kneel in front of you, strong hands making themselves at home on your face.
“Please sweetheart, please forgive me.”
He plays dirty.
He’s aware of your feelings for him and he manipulates himself in ways to appease you. Not ever letting you escape from his grasps.
He plays dirty, yet you don’t care.
You lean in and he waits impatiently for you to connect. Cole smiles into the kiss and licks into your mouth, your tongues binding themselves together.
You kiss, and kiss, and kiss until the loud ringing of a phone pours into the room.
Cole ignores it and proceeds to lose himself in you, but you don’t. You delicately propel his shoulders back, disconnecting with a string of saliva.
“Cole..you should get that.”
He composes himself and nods once, then twice and then for a third time.
“Ye..ah. Yeah I should go do that.”
His feet catch on the carpet, staggering him.
You’re afraid the phone will stop ringing before he reaches it, but are pleased when you hear him answer with a breathless “hello?”
It’s quiet for a few odd moments before an alarmed Cole is practically yelling into the phone.
“Liam? I thought you were at a camp—”
Liam must’ve interrupted his sentence because Cole is quiet again. Eyebrows furrowed in concern for the boy on the other side of the phone.
“Just…stay low. Meet me here at this address. __ ___ ____ ___. Apartment 53. And please, for the love of God. Do not get caught.”
He hangs up and his hands move to play with his hair.
“Change of plans, we have to stay here for a couple days longer.”
When you meet Liam, you thought you were seeing double.
He stands paranoid next to Cole, untrusting of you. His blond hair is lighter than Cole’s. Straws of yellow reaching his ears.
You know he’s only acting this way because he’s down right terrified of adults. League agents in particular.
Cole rolls his eyes with irritation at his brother’s antics. Apparently uncaring of why.
“Lee, stop being weird. You’re scaring her.”
His brother fixes him with a glare so enraged, you’re afraid he’s going to pounce on him.
“I’m scaring her? You brought me into a house with a league agent. I’m the one shitting my pants!”
Again, Cole rolls his eyes and makes his way into his room. Not before calling out, “I’m league too, or did life on the run knock some screws loose little brother?”
You examine Liam as he regards his brother, no doubt pissed to oblivion.
“You are such a jerk.”
“This jerk is the reason why you’re not cuffed up, fifty miles away in a car making it down to a camp. You’re welcome.”
Liam gets quiet after that. Obviously thankful for his brother, but still mad.
Cole is back in the living room with his boots laced on his feet. Keys thrown back and forth between his hands.
“I’m going to go pick us up some food. You two, play nice.”
And with that Cole leaves.
You wished you had stopped him though. You wished you had done anything but call out a quick bye, words covered with fondness.
You didn’t know Liam’s presence would be Cole’s demise
The last time you and Liam saw Cole was when his lean body was shoved aggressively into a government van. Outcome from the fact that Liam was noticed by your nosy, elderly bitch of a neighbor.
You didn’t even get to stop Liam from running away with the wrong jacket.
The jacket with the flash drive.
It wasn’t long before Cole was back at the Los Angeles league base. Safely rescued by the infamous orange Ruby Daly and her blue teammate, Vida Bautista.
Cole was grateful for the rescue. He’s no damsel, but it would’ve been one hell of a pain in the ass if he had to get himself out. He’s glad he’s important enough in the league that they even considered retrieving him. If it was anyone else, he’s sure they would’ve been six feet under by now. Long forgotten by the same organization they endangered their lives for.
Cole was grateful to Ruby for the rescue.
What he wasn’t grateful for were her words of urgency as she kept repeating the same two words, tangles of her mind deep in his.
“The flash drive. Cole, the flash drive.”
And damn, he knows he should be trying his very best to think of that stupid little thing, but he’s finally back and he hasn’t seen a glimpse of you.
Now he’s imaging you. How you’ll react when you know he’s safe and sound. Maybe you’ll do a little squeal and jump in his hands, eyes sparkling with affection for him.
He thinks back to your three weeks together. The fighting, the bickering, the kissing.
When he remembers someone was currently into the depths of his mind, living the memories he’s replaying along with him it’s too late.
He blushes a crimson so red, and stutters out an apology you wouldn’t believe this was the same Cole three weeks ago.
He sees Ruby regard him in disgust and watches her walk out.
He calls out “sorry!” to Alban for his lack of participation in Ruby’s mindhunt and follows her out.
They pass the showers without her noticing he’s trailing behind her and he shoves her into the bathroom with the little force he can muster with his injuries.
Cole draws the curtain and turns on the faucet.
Ruby reminds him of Liam; the way these two are so paranoid beyond belief. He fights her off him when she moves to attack him. Which was his fault really, maybe he shouldn’t have been manhandling traumatized girls.
“Calm down! I’m here to talk about Liam!”
He can tell she knows her jig is up from her attempt to act clueless of this “Liam” he knows they both know.
He listens as she tries to scold him on something about bringing his brother back into the league. The infatuation she has for Liam is so plainly obvious.
He tells her his old address in North Carolina and sends this teenage girl on a wild goose chase for his jerkass little brother.
When Ruby walks her legs to leave, she turns to him with a scornful expression.
“Instead of teasing me about your brother, maybe you should put on your big boy pants and figure out whatever the hell you have with that girl. The girl from your op.”
She sadistically smiles at the way his features drop. He hates that this girl can enter and leave his mind as she pleases—literally.
And with a bounce of her black curly hair, she walks out the showers.
Cole takes this time to himself. Leaning back on the stall.
He doesn’t get to relax for long before the curtain opens again and he sees you.
“What were you doing in here with that girl? You know she’s sixteen right?”
God, how he missed you. You with your feelings, not all of them innocent but all so sweet. You with your jealousy. You with your little bursts of anger.
You could almost punch an already beaten up Cole for the way he laughs at you. Not taking you seriously.
“Relax, I was filling her in about Liam. Showers are the only place not recorded.”
You’re embarrassed at your over exaggeration and drop your shoulders.
“Oh.”
“Yeah..oh.”
You move to place a hand on his shoulder and for the first time, he lets you. You move it to his face and he leans into your touch.
“I’ve missed you.”
You don’t understand why Cole denies himself of this. Of your love for him. You know he wants you too, otherwise he wouldn’t have happily participated in all of your frivolous activities.
You see the moment he pulls back. Shields himself from feeling any longer.
And you can’t take it anymore.
“Why are you like this?”
“…Like what?”
“Like an asshole! Are you playing with me? That has got to be the only explanation. You let me kiss you and touch you, you get mad when we don’t talk about it and when we do, you get mad at that too. So what’s it going to be this time?”
You must’ve hit an already exposed nerve because Cole looks close to strangling you.
“Why can’t you understand we can’t be together.”
“And who’s saying that?”
“I’m saying that. I am. Sweetheart, take a look around. How can we focus on us, when the u.s has turned to shit and we’re fucking with the government every second of the day.”
You stubbornly turn to the water droplets sliding down the wall, your wet clothes sticking to your body. The small container you both are in is fogging up with steam.
“That doesn’t stop other people so I’m not sure why that should stop us.”
He stands to his full height, and he’s still so mad. You don’t like when he’s mad. Especially at you.
“Because other people aren’t reds!”
Chills cover your body despite the heat of the shower. A puzzle scatters in your broken relationship with Cole, yet there is finally that one missing piece, waiting to be put together.
“But..you’re twenty-one?”
He laughs, though he doesn’t find it all that funny.
“Unlucky me.”
You shake your head and motion to grab him, but Cole doesn’t let you. He walks backwards, minding his step to not slip on the water.
“Cole, I don’t care what you are. I love you, and I’ll always love you. And even if you don’t love me back, I don’t care. I just want you to allow yourself to feel what you feel for me.”
Cole’s in torment.
He doesn’t like hurting you, he doesn’t know why he does it. He’s scared of losing control. Every Time he’s angry, he can feel the little flame in his chest waiting to explode in a hot fire.
“I’ll hurt you. Hell, I’ve already been hurting you.”
“Cole, you can hurt me till my heart physically cannot handle it anymore and I’d still choose you.”
You know that’s what breaks him because he runs to you. Pouring all his desires into you as you become one. His bruised hands are roaming on your body, anywhere you’ll let him.
And that’s everywhere.
You love Cole.
Cole saved your life not once, but twice. Your own personal knight in shining armour anywhere you went.
You love his short hair. The color of the sandy beach. And you love his ocean blue eyes even more. His thin lips and high cheekbones, strong arms and long legs.
You love everything about him.
You love Cole.
And Cole loves you.
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anyway here's to disabled people who are not healing. disabled people who are not recovering, ever. people with disabilities that only get worse and worse over time. people who cannot access treatment for their disabilities or whose disabilities simply aren't treatable. people who know they'll only get more and more disabled as time goes on. people who know their disability will kill them sooner or later. you are seen, you are important, you are not dead weight, and you deserve support.
I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.
Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed
