"i'm tired of seeing-" use your filters.

"but there was an icky ship-!" use your filters.

"i don't like that tag-" use your filters.

don't like what you're seeing? use. your. filters.

Reblog to give prev a fucking break holy shit y’all

The flip side of “cleanse diets don’t do anything” is that if you tried a cleanse diet and you did experience a notable reduction in fatigue, joint pain, and general blarginess, you need to talk to an allergy specialist, because there’s nearly a 100% chance that means you have an undiagnosed allergy to some component of your customary diet.

This is an excellent point and I’d imagine there’s a lot of quack diets that continue circulating and getting press based on this exact principle.

Absolutely – a great many diets of the “stop eating everything except these three foods” variety are 100% trading on the fact that they’re practically guaranteed to generate some positive testimonials by virtue of coincidentally cutting somebody’s undiagnosed food allergy out of their diet.

My adaptation of the God of Arepo short story, which was originally up at ShortBox Comics Fair for charity. You can get a copy of the DRM-free ebook here for free - and I'd encourage you to donate to Mighty Writers or The Ministry of Stories in exchange.

Again it's an honour to be drawing one of my favourite short stories ever. Thank you so much for the original authors for creating this story; and for everyone who bought a copy and donated to the above non-profits.

It never gets old and it always makes me cry.

@ilgalantuomo ❤️

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

i found it

the original post

i found it

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

“ooh i’m getting all my tattoos removed bc tattoos aren’t cool anymore they’re out of style and no longer match my aesthetic” i’m not gonna mince words anymore if you got tattoos because they were a cool aesthetic and not because you actually wanted them then you’re a fucking idiot

i'm not invested in "harry potter was never good" conversations because it doesn't matter if it's good or not. quality does not positively correlate with socio-political praxis. it could be a really good piece of art, but if it's still supporting a vocal proponent of transmisogyny and transphobia, i don't give a shit. harry potter good or bad, who cares, its success is unambiguiously providing financial and social capital for a morally despicable person.

Have you ever looked closely at a car windshield?

The edge of the glass is painted where it is glued to the car but it has these small dots between the clear and painted glass.

These are there for a reason. When the sun hits the glass the painted areas and the clear areas will absorb heat at different rates. This causes the glass to expand and contract differently putting stress on the glass.

These dots help the glass to warm up more evenly over a larger area so the glass does not suffer stress that could cause it to spontaneously explode.

Fun fact: the Tesla cybertruck doesn’t have these.

Yes, the glass will spontaneously crack or explode in the sun.

it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think

vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -

angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?

vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?

angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.

vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.

vampire: hey i am outside your apartment

angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?

vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.

angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.

vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*

angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.

vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here

everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience

Oopsie doopsie my hand slipped yet again

i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.

Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

CONFIRMED THE BUG IS INCORRECT ATTRIBUTION.

Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat

The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!

“Rayban charity glasses event” is a scam don’t click any link in a post that says that.

Old tumblr users remember this scam back when it first went out.

Also no, this isn’t a joke. This phishing scam is 100% running its course again so watch out for your mutuals long abandoned accounts suddenly posting it. Please make everyone aware of it since most users here are newbies who have not seen it before!

A Lich Lord covered his head with rags and disguised himself as a cleric, then joined the heroes' party. His reasoning? He was bored and wanted to see the world without instilling fear.

There's an adventurer's code, is the thing. Not any of the official ones. Something more subtle.

You see—people who pick up this trade aren't quite normal. Normal people stay home and become the miller or the baker and raise a bunch of kids. Adventurers are almost defined by being a little different.

Like, take Lissar, our swordswoman. Big, buff, drinks a lot, what you would expect mostly. Doesn't talk about her family. Skittish about the full moons. Turns out that she got a bad spell for her gender-fixing and ended up with a nasty case of avolitional lycanthropy, which means that her girlfriend has to use a restraining collar whenever there's enough moonlight. (And no, I don't know if they do anything else with it, I have a firm policy that I don't hear anything that happens in other people's tents, even when I do. So don't ask. I also don't get the human gender thing at all. Sounds strange for a dwarf to say, but I almost think that the elves and their twelve-gender system make more sense, at least they're dividing people up based on actual traits that they have rather than vague physical generalizations that are sometimes dead wrong anyway.)

And me, I'm an absolutely normal dwarf, you think. Why would I go adventuring. Well, you may have noticed the odd-colored left eye, but you might also want to look at the things I do—the petty magics and the prestidigitation—and wonder exactly why a dwarf, scion of a decent family in a well-run cavern, would pick up what are essentially thieves skills—

And then you would want to mind your own business. Because that's the code. Everyone has some odd wrinkles in their backstory, it happens. It'll probably come out at the worst possible moment, too. But you don't pry.

So when dude shows up with a bandaged face telling us to call him Brother Healhand and using a bizarre mix of slang that spreads across the last three hundred years, if not more—we knew perfectly well that something was up, and we didn't ask.

Which works up until he ended up commanding, not turning, a full legion of the Smoke King's undead forces. That gets…hard to ignore.

"Hast thou a notion what I should do with these fuckers?" Brother Healhand asked me, sitting pensively on a rock. His bandages were disarranged enough that I could see glowing eyes, and the crystal on the end of his staff was a rather disturbing eldritch greenish purple rather than its usual soft white. I don't think I'm supposed to be able to see that color. I looked at the army of obedient zombies instead.

"Did you do the same ritual as the Smoke King?" Probably not what I should lead with.

"The blood rite of immortality?" Becoming a lich has a body count. A large one. That's why decent people don't do it. Brother Healhand looked away. "People change."

Can't argue with that. I've changed some myself.

For one thing, I'm talking to an undead rather than dying in a futile attack. That's a change. Dwarves have opinions about things that don't stay dead. (Except the Star-Jeweled King, who I think may actually be dead, but people hope he isn't—although even there, there's a kind of relief in the fact that he hasn't woken up, because that would be the Big One, the War at the End of the World, and we all know we're not all getting through that one.)

"You going to stand with us against the Smoke King?"

"Even had I not changed," Brother Healhand said promptly. "My kind are territorial and combative. And the Smoke King is just plain crass."

The enemy of my enemy is not my ally, necessarily, but he's still a guy you'd rather have around than not. So long as you keep an eye on him. "And these guys—"

"Spread the word not, I pray," Brother Healhand said, "but mindless undead have always slightly—bothered me. Nature abhors a vacuum. I feel that Things creep into the gap where the soul was. Which can lead to—unpleasantness."

And these zombies were old. "Do you think we can safely use them to fight the Smoke King's other legions?"

Brother Healhand was quiet for a moment. "I abhor the notion of being the distraction. However. Thou canst picture it, no? Another lich approaches, raises his banner, hails the Smoke King in his lair and threatens him with his own minions, telling him to come on if he thinks he's hard enough. Hardly a challenge any lich could or would ignore. Meanwhile a small team, slipping through the tunnels beneath the mountain— it could be done. Perhaps. The odds are not good but when have they ever been?"

I thought about it.

It might be the best chance we were going to get.

"No heroic last stands," I said. "You distract him and you get out of there, get it? We want to see you again when we get out."

Brother Healhand gave me a wry look. Which is difficult with eldritch glowing eyes. "I did not come to this state by loving the notion of death. I'll be there, with bells on. I would have thy promise of the same."

It occurred to me that given Brother Healhand's age—whatever it was—there might be significance in the fact that about a month ago, he switched to calling us all thou. I think most of us wrote it off as, oh, he talks like that. Maybe not.

"With bells on," I promised.

I would hella play in this campaign.

Last year I got a little wasp problem when wasps decided that my balcony's wooden ceiling would be a perfect spot for a nest. The nest apparently was never finished and I found large pieces of it on the floor but I still contacted maintenance to ask what to do.

The maintenance came to visit and didn't find any nest, so that's good. I was told that I should put a crocheted fake wasp nest on my balcony, near the spot wasps favor, because they refuse to built a nest on someone else's territory. Better yet, fill the nest with newspaper because it smells like a wasp nest.

I found some handmade nests online and I'm going to give it a try! Many of the sellers said that they and their friends and family have been using the fake nests successfully for years in home, summer cottages, outdoor buildings etc.

Here are some patterns (in English) for crafty people.

Sharing this here because I didn't even know about such a solution! I hope it helps anyone who wants to keep unwanted wasps away from certain parts of their home and yard.

It's been almost 5 months now with these fake beehives. I was told that these won't work because bees navigate by scent, not by vision, but guys:

5 months and I have not seen a single bee or a wasp on my balcony!

Last year they tried to built a nest, same as a year before that. I've lived 10 years in this apartment and bees and wasps have always been an issue on my balcony, even when I have no flowers there.

So, even if science says that this doesn't work, it has worked for me. I had no need for an exterminator. It was that bad before these fake hives.

Big recommendations! Easy, won't harm nature, extremely bee and wasp friendly.

Since spring is here, I want to bring this one out again for friendly way to keep bees and wasps away from places where you don't want them to be.

"ohh 00s diet culture isn't back because of ozempic, you're overreacting"

idk i keep seeing previously size-inclusive brands remove plus-sized versions of their clothes from their catalogues entirely, even lines specifically aimed at bigger sizes are cutting their size range down and chopping the bigger ones. i keep seeing mean skinny tiktokers get famous because they said something rude about fat people. when i ask my doctor about weight loss (which my country's gender treatment clinic requires before i can access even preliminary talks about hrt), i'm immediately offered drugs about it - drugs which, according to the doctor, we don't know the long-term effects of. but surely! surely it can't be worse than being fat!

like why are people acting surprised? we've made being extremely wealthy the aspirational aesthetic to strive for, made 'being skinny and having a lot of time and money to stay beautiful' a not only viable but lucrative carreer for people, and then released a drug that is wildly expensive and will make people thin.

of course people are gonna make being thin the ultimate status symbol again - it more than ever before signals wealth and leisure-time.

like, do you think it's a coincidence that people are back to constantly spouting 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' again? and pretending being fat is a matter of lacking self-control around cake or whatever? as if people haven't spent decades trying to get these fucks to understand that actually healthy produce and the time to maintain your body are extreme luxuries in our society?

anyway my broke fat ass can't find pants i like and can afford because the size-inclusive lines i'd have shopped at previously have axed anything over a size xl

and like. i'm not even that fat. what the fuck do people bigger than me do. it's really heinous right now for fat peeps.

Some really good points from the tags:

And then there are people like me. I have a hormonal problem, the hormones that regulate hunger and appetite simply do not work. Which means, I am literally always hungry. I can eat until I can feel my stomach is about to burst and I will still feel hungry.

Ya know, like the curse of gods in ancient mythology? No matter what you eat, or how much you eat, you'll always be hungry and never satisfied?

Ozempic is a fucking blessing. It's breaking the curse. I can eat a plate of food and be satisfied. I don't need to snack all the time to not get mad. I don't crave sweets all the time.

I can't be the only one with that condition (a few people in my family have the limitless eating "ability" but don't see that and the resulting overweight as a problem), but I can't imagine there are many of us. Is it a life saver? No, but that shit being so expensive because of people who don't need it pisses me off too.

Yes, I too started to take it to lose weight. But feeling what I felt and still do, weight loss has become more of a side effect than goal.

And every time I see a discussion about ozempic I fee thrown under the bus.

yes, their close platonic relationship in canon is important to me specifically because it's both close and platonic

yes, I also ship them romantically, or as part of a romantic poly ship

I refuse to lock myself into a single interpretation of a fictional relationship when there's multiple interesting ways to view it. I can do both

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations