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Lakritzwolf

@lakritzwolf / lakritzwolf.tumblr.com

Multi-fandom blog. Expect writing promo, shitposting and MATURE CONTENT so follow me at your own peril. The block button is your friend, because it's not my responsibility to make my blog palpable to everyone (not that's that's even possible).
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If you clicked on and read a fanfiction that had tags or a description that upset you and you were upset by it, that's your responsibility, not the author's responsibility.

If you were reading a fanfiction and you got to an unexpected part that disturbed you and you kept reading after you were disturbed, that was your choice and your responsibility, not the author's.

No one is forcing you to read fanfiction that upsets you. The back button is your friend.

If you are reading a piece of fanfiction it's because it interests you. Horrified fascination counts as interest. No fanfiction is holding you hostage and forcing you to read it.

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

I’d just like to point out the growth in this post has mostly coincided with elon’s public spiral downward and I’d like to think we’re all a small part of that

bro can’t think because he’s just got a rager of a migraine 24/7

yes I would like to give elon musk my menstrual pain. I think he deserves it

Reblog to also give Elon Musk your menstrual pain.

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AO3 👏 TAGS 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 SPOILERS 👏

i’m so tired of authors not tagging correctly because they don’t want to “spoil the fic”

correctly tagging your fic allows readers who DON’T want to read things like major character death, gore, mpreg or whatever may be their squick to filter your fic out from the main ship/fandom tag. not including the correct tags on your fic is harmful to readers and i’m tired of pretending it’s not.

“don’t like don’t read” great! i won’t! tag your fic correctly next time ffs

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in this house we don’t say “that character is dead”. we say “they’re wounded but they’re alive and are on their way towards making a full recovery on archive of our own fix-it fics”

Gimli making sure the hobbits are always warm, grumbling about their “ridiculous lack of insulation” while secretly tucking extra blankets around them at night.

Gimli telling Legolas stories of Erebor, watching with satisfaction as the elf actually listens with genuine interest.

Gimli subtly keeping an eye on Boromir, recognizing the weight of duty in his stance and understanding it more than he lets on.

Gimli showing Pippin how to properly hold an axe, despite muttering that it’s “too big for a hobbit” (but still making sure it fits him well).

Gimli standing guard with Aragorn, sharing quiet words about fallen kin, kings, and the legacies they carry.

Gimli speaking gently to Frodo when he sees the exhaustion in his eyes, reminding him that even the strongest stone needs rest.

Gimli taking the time to properly sharpen everyone’s weapons, because “if we’re fighting for our lives, we may as well do it properly.”

Gimli proving, time and time again, that he is more than just a warrior—he is a friend, a shield, and a heart as unyielding as the mountains he calls home.

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Hello, I'm rewatching LotR and I was wondering what phrases would one say to flirt in the dwarf language with Men?

Something like...

"I would share the last piece of my bread with you"

"All my stones/metal are yours to hold"

...Maybe?

If this would pass as a flirt line, how would it be like translated?

Thank you and sorry to bother you!

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Well met!

Ah, a delightful question — and certainly not a bother at all. On the contrary, it’s one of those charming topics that allow us to explore both the language and the culture of the Dwarves.

Let's dive in. Firstly though...

🪓 Would Dwarves Flirt the Same Way?

The short answer: not quite. Dwarves are famously private and reserved folk, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Flirtation, as we might know it among Hobbits, Men or even Elves — with flowery compliments and bold declarations — is unlikely to be common in Dwarvish culture.

If we look at Tolkien’s inspirations for the Dwarves (namely Old Norse and Hebraic cultures), we find that expressions of affection are often subtle, practical, and rooted in acts of service or shared prosperity, rather than open praise of beauty or lofty romantic declarations.

A beautiful real-world example comes from an Old Swedish runic inscription on the stone found at the estate of Hassmyra, in Fläckebo parish, Västmanland, raised in memory of a man’s deceased wife. Part of the inscription reads:

“Never will come to Hasvimyra a better mistress to manage the house.”

It is an expression of love and respect, not through flowery praise of appearance, but through admiration of skill, shared labour, and the life they built together. Such heartfelt and practical sentiments feel very Dwarvish indeed.

Similarly, in Hebraic tradition, the concept of Yichud encapsulates this beautifully. Yichud — meaning “together, alone, with no one else present” — refers to the privacy and sanctity of the bond between two people. In fact, "Ahavah," the more common Hebrew term for love, is often used in the Torah to refer not to romantic affection, but to friendship, loyalty, and familial devotion. Even David, in mourning Jonathan, said:

“Wonderful was thy love for me, passing the love of women.” (II Samuel 1:26)

In both these cultures, we see love expressed not in boastful declarations, but in quiet moments of unity, shared burdens, and loyal companionship. And if love is customarily expressed this way, why should flirting be any different?

A Dwarf, rather than saying “Your eyes are like stars”, might say:

“Your work shines bright in my hall.”

Or, as you so well suggested:

“I would share my last bread with you.”

Such gestures, grounded in generosity, loyalty, and the sharing of crafted goods or hard-earned wealth, feel far more natural to a Dwarven suitor.

🧝‍♀️ A Note on Dwarf-Non-Dwarf Relations

Now, this deserves a special mention.

While The Hobbit films openly flirted with the idea of Dwarf-Elf romance, this would be extremely unlikely within Tolkien's Middle Earth and the Dwarvish culture. Dwarves are deeply insular and loyal to their own kind — they would not look outside their kin to find their partner.

Two important points on this:

  1. Dwarves would not naturally find non-Dwarves attractive. Their standards of beauty are very much rooted in their own culture — resilience, craftsmanship, endurance, and the beauty of their own people. Not to mention the lack of beards in many other races would be a major issue.
  2. Cultural taboos would strongly discourage cross-species unions. The notion of a Dwarf marrying an Elf or a Man would be not only rare but almost unthinkable, and very likely not be accepted culturally.

Gimli’s famous admiration for Galadriel is often cited as a counterexample. But this deserves closer inspection.

Rather than romantic love, Gimli’s reverence mirrors something quite different — an almost sacred admiration, akin to the veneration of saints. Tolkien, a devout Catholic, infused his work with reflections of his faith. Galadriel, in many ways, is constructed as a saintly figure: her beauty, power, and grace possess unmistakably Marian qualities.

Tolkien scholars have observed this parallel too. Though Galadriel is not an exact replica of the Virgin Mary in Middle-earth, she embodies elements of saintliness and purity, especially in Tolkien’s later writings. In Letter 353, Tolkien even acknowledges how some readers, like his proofreader Father Robert Murray, S.J., perceived Galadriel in these terms — and this perception may well have shaped Tolkien’s evolving depiction of her. Initially seen as a flawed, repentant character who fell into pride at the Kinslaying, Tolkien later elevated Galadriel to an almost unstained figure: a guiding light for others, not unlike the role of Mary in Christian tradition.

In this way, Tolkien crafts Galadriel’s image to inspire reverence, not romantic desire. Thus, Gimli’s feelings toward Galadriel are not of worldly love, but of deep respect, awe, and devotion to an ideal of beauty and wisdom. His gift-request — “a single strand of her hair” — is not the plea of a suitor, but rather, the respectful homage of a craftsman to a paragon of light. It is admiration, not courtship.

In short: a Dwarf may admire the skill or grace of another race, but when it comes to lifelong partnership, their loyalty and affection remain firmly within their own halls.

🧱 Some Dwarvish Flirtation Lines

That said, within their own circles, here’s a small collection of lines a Dwarf might use to express interest (in the below examples, directed at a female individual) — short, sincere, and true to their culture:

  • Zâskhari yazi karfu hamdê nutut. (“I would share the last piece of my bread with you.”)
  • Sullu 'abbanê ra ritîhê tâtîn azi d' akhlut. (“All my stones and metals are yours to hold.”)
  • Zasamkhihiya gâra 'unsasul undu markhê. (“You’d find no safer shelter than beneath my shield.”)
  • Ni zinanîn, zâthrigi rathkh-kheledulkhud khamazi. (“In the dark places, I would carry a lantern for you.”)
  • Sâti azafr sanzigil: hudukh ra binhulk. (“You are like mithril: rare and without equal.”)

💡 A Cultural Note: Actions Over Words

It’s also worth noting that for Dwarves, actions often speak louder than words. While such phrases certainly would exist, a Dwarf might more likely show affection by:

  • Gifting a finely crafted token (even a simple one, like a clasp or brooch)
  • Offering aid in tasks or protection
  • Forging something by their own hand specifically for the person they care about

The spoken word is secondary to deeds — but still, a well-placed compliment never hurts!

Ever at your service (and happily the scholar, not the suitor), The Dwarrow Scholar

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unless they specifically asked, you don’t get to tell a fanfic writer you think they mischaracterized the character by the way. because the second someone writes a fanfic about a character, that character becomes the writer’s own version of the character. canon is only a suggestion, but whether or not an author will follow it / how much of canon an author will take is entirely up to them. you don’t get to stick your nose in their world and tell them “hey this is not to my liking therefore I think you’re doing it wrong” when you can simply leave quietly and move on to something else you may enjoy

The crux of the anti trans movement is a war on bodily autonomy. They don't want you to have any agency over what you look like, how you dress, who you date, whether to have kids, etc.

They want total control over you. Not just trans people. Not just queer people. You. Everyone.

Trans people are just a scapegoat. They want total control over everyone's self expression. They want the right to mold you into their perfect little cog in their dehumanizing machine.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Our rights are your rights. Our destruction is your destruction.

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Anonymous asked:

Do you think people who are virgin should write smut? I feel like most of them don’t even know what they’re writing and just write what they think sex is

the implication this ask suggests that people who write about murders, cannibalism, politics, magic, royalty au, sci-fi, wars, supernatural, time travel, medieval era, werewolves, vampires, mermaids or goblins must be murderers, cannibals, presidents, wizards, royalties, astronauts, ghost hunters, soldiers, time travelers, knights, werewolves, vampires, mermaids or goblins in real life is so funny to me

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