part-time soulmate, full-time problem

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

few things are as funny as Gideon deciding it's on sight with Ianthe the instant she gets a body in HtN

Gideon's priorities:

1. Keep Harrow's thumbs on

2. Let Ianthe know she is a trifling skank who will never ever get it

TED LASSO 1.01 Pilot

There's some skills that you don't know exist until you want them soso bad.

dating a princessgirl is great until she exercises unilateral authority to keep snuggling you instead of letting you get up

the bed, too, is a kind of dungeon

what happened to honor and duty. what kind of knight are you. you've failed her.

my beautiful collection

when you wear a sundress and one of the straps is loose so it slips off your shoulder and u feel… how shall i put this… harlotrous

the title of 8x16 is gonna be six feet under

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

It really is crazy how if you mention you write fanfiction with people outside fandom, they're always like "you should change the names and try to sell it." It misses the point (fun), but more importantly to me, I get slightly (and I know irrationally) insulted on a craft letter. Excuse me, my fanfic is entwined with the canon, thank you very much. I wish sometimes less entwined. You wouldn't believe the stupid bullshit some of my fics have to include because of canon.

the people's princess

Oliver..

Spoilers!!