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Girls Girls Girls

When I was a very small child, a ghost from the future came to me in the middle of the night and whispered, “In the year 2014 you will become somewhat famous for playing a lesbian on a series”. So from that moment on, I decided to live a life of sexual confusion, frustration, and fluidity just so I could reel in more fans for the day my inevitable fate was granted. But really, my entire life has been a lie. The struggle I have experienced for over twenty years was simply pretending. All my ex-ladies were merely pawns in a complex marketing scheme. I endured being called a “slut” for my bisexual habits, because I knew it would pay off one day. And to the friends, teachers, and parents who made me feel safe coming out - you wasted your time. It was all a hoax! So thank you ghost from the future. I’m so glad you told me to pretend to be sexually fluid, because look at all the fans I have now!

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