dam

grammar this. grammar that. sometimes 'grammatically correct' just doesn't hit the spot. the vibes are telling me to laugh in the face of the english language and that's exactly what I'm going to do, one incorrectly structured sentence at a time.

?????? rich people are losing it

to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.

would zuko give the blue spirit a full pardon after the war is over or do you think he would mess with everyone and raise the bounty even higher

how come you'll say tragedy is your favorite genre and then 100 thousand million people will be like "you should check out this adaptation of this famous tragedy but the twist is there's a happy ending this time." GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nobody ever tells me to check out a Hamlet adaptation where things go even worse for him

Hamlet but he slept weird and is neck hurts a little bit through the whole play

honestly I think everyone should just play Hamlet this way anyway. he should have a tension migraine

Losing my mind at this poor girl in Argentina who found a kitten on the side of the road and adopted it only to find out it was a freaking jaguarundi. Look at that fucking thing. That's a whole ass kiddy cat

#WHAT DID SHE DO WITH IT.... please tell me she raised that thang

Better yet, she got in contact with a local wildlife reserve! She found him and his sister beside a dead animal on the side of the road, apparently quite thin, and assumed they were just abandoned kittens. The female passed shortly afterward but the male was fine- two months later she brought him to the vet and discovered "hey, thats a whole ass jungle cat." There's a good chance Tito will be back in the wild someday, even! IMHO, two kittens on the side of the road, and one didn't make it more than a couple days? they probably WERE abandoned. just dumb luck they got picked up!

LISTEN to those sweet cheeps. to me I hear that sound and immediately think wild cat, but I think its totally reasonable for a teenager to find a kitten this young and think it was a normal cat. Jaguarundi are also really small!

These are TINY little wildcats!

They have really distinct looking faces and especially ears, but

if a layman ran into one of these things where they werent expecting to see one, I think its pretty reasonable they might assume it was just a weird looking cat

fat character who becomes a vampire and loses a ton of weight and blood can not sate their hunger but they can't eat anything they used to like anymore. everyone views it as a positive healthy positive development but they're starving and dying slowly but never truly dying, a living corpse. this is a metaphor for something

People finally think they’re attractive and cool and funny but they’re dead. People finally treat them well but they’re dead. Do you see the vision

Transforms into a shell of my former self and finally gains the respectability society never bestowed upon me before

I've learned the hard way that you need to make sure everybody present is familiar with this tweet before attempting to quote it or else everyone is going to recreate that photo of those college students holding solo cups staring at you with disgust

Beach episode where the full 11 minutes is just Zira trying stop Aika from chugging ocean water

based on a silly convo with anairis and aj

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

some asshole: tries to control his wife by withholding bath snacks

op's husband:

If someone ever tries to control what you eat, make exit plans IMMEDIATELY, and I am not kidding.

sprite can oil lamp

I was expecting this to burn through the paper towel wick after like 5 minutes but it was still goin strong after like half an hour I'm gonna save so much money from my monthly candles related expenses

as a strange aside, the vegetable oil has a acquired a savory metallic taste surprisingly similar to blood

girl u r ingesting aluminum

its been nearly a year now but I like how everyone in the notes assumed im just chugging vegetable oil

fun fact you cna do the same thing with leftover cooking grease but it burns super dirty

awesome I've always wanted my appartment to smell like burning lard

awesome I’ve always

wanted my appartment to

smell like burning lard

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the biggest scam tumblr pulls is all the people who come here convinced they want to be tumblr famous

the best experience you can have on tumblr is goofing around with your mutuals and one of the worst experiences is having a post with 20k+ notes.

He's saying what we've all been thinking

For reference, OP's "Hear Me Out" is on the left and the commentor's is on the right

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment